Separation is an eternal theme in life

Lately I've been very anxious about the problem of reading for my children. In September, the child will be in the first grade, the public primary school opposite the house listens to the people around them talk about the teaching quality is not very good, and the neighbors who know around them have moved for this reason. In order not to lose at the starting line, I anxiously inspected the well-known private schools in the city. As a result, high-quality schools are either boarding or far away from home, and suddenly, separation anxiety arises, what should I do?

Just when I was struggling and unable to decide, the separation of Teacher Wu Zhihong was the eternal theme of life, which made me find the source of anxiety. There are three types of separation, mature separation, refusal separation, and simple separation.

Mature separation means that parents let their children grow up with respectful true love, and at the same time, encourage children to actively explore and give full play to autonomy.

Refusal to separate is that parents are unwilling to let their children separate and take care of everything for their children too much, which will lead to excessive dependence on children and unable to grow.

Simple growth is to condone all the behavior of the child, which will lead to the child's autism.

From here, I found myself caught in the strange circle of refusing to separate, and I pinned my hopes on doing everything for my children, just like the feeling of "afraid to melt in the mouth, afraid to be broken in the palm of the hand". In this way, the child's self-efficacy may be very poor, that is, his ability to speculate and judge whether he is capable of completing a certain behavior will become poor.

So, what can I do? Respect the child, learn to mature separation, and let the child learn to be independent and grow in separation.

Therefore, I tried to take my children to visit the school together, listen to the principal introduce the school history, see the beautiful campus scenery, smell the fragrant flowers on the campus, and touch the outer wall of the teaching building with historical precipitation. In this way, let the child feel the school from every word and deed, grass and tree, and further help her choose the school independently. At the same time, I also told my child that Mom and Dad would always love her and would silently support all her decisions behind her.

After visiting four schools, the child has the appearance of the school of his choice, a large playground, a high library, a loud reading sound, and it is best to have a beautiful swimming pool. Tomorrow I will fill in the volunteer, this time, I am no longer anxious, because the child has already chosen.