1. On a business trip to a hotel, there was a beautiful woman knocking on the door at ten o'clock in the evening, she said that she lived next door to me, drank coffee, couldn't sleep, and wanted to talk to me. I gladly let her go

1. On a business trip to a hotel, a beautiful woman knocked on the door at ten o'clock in the evening, and she said that she lived next door to me, drank coffee, couldn't sleep, and wanted to talk to me. I gladly let her into the house. She said that her name was Zhang Li, she came to such a tour, I asked her why she did not bring a boyfriend, she said with a bitter smile, I don't know where my boyfriend lives, what his name is. I smiled and said, what a coincidence, I don't know what my girlfriend looks like, what she likes, what she doesn't like. Zhang Li and I looked at each other and smiled, and we felt much closer. Smelling the scent of her body, I was fascinated. I didn't expect to travel on a business trip, and actually picked up a girlfriend, which was really profitable. I whispered, I will be good to you in the future. She snorted, nodded and said, I believe you. We both imagined the future on this dark beach, and we felt extremely satisfied. We agreed that after we went back this time, we would quit our jobs and start our own companies together. We make money together, then buy a new house and a new car, and then we get married and work together until we are old. We also have many children, playing under our knees, calling us mom and dad, and it's beautiful to think about. Drinking Zhang Li's two bowls of fish soup. We each bowl, piping hot fish soup, although a little fishy, but it is really sweet to drink. A bowl of fish soup went into my stomach, and I felt more satisfied than ever. After a night of sleeplessness, a wave of sleepiness struck, Zhang Li's face gradually blurred in front of me, I yawned, my eyes went black, and I slept. I don't know how long later, I slowly woke up and found myself lying in a bathtub with a small note next to it...

2. I made a girlfriend some time ago. When I was first with my girlfriend, she said she liked theater, and I asked her what kind of drama she liked, and then I would go with her to see it, and she wouldn't tell me. Until this day I went to her early in the morning, I asked her if she liked Sichuan opera, and she said how do you know? I immediately smiled and said: I am not blind, you are a face changer at first glance. Accompany your wife downstairs to eat KFC. Check out for $98. I touched my pajama pockets and didn't bring any money. The waiter said: "Your wife is here, you can't run, go home and get it!" "I rushed to the fifth floor and took 100 pieces and rushed back. Just when I was exhausted and breathless, the waiter greeted me and said, "Hello! A total of 108 yuan. I looked at the big red ticket in my hand and the milk tea in my wife's hand, instantly petrified. How much you love milk tea, wife! Will this die....

3. Girlfriend: "Boss, add some coriander to the soup!" Boss: "I'm sorry Ha, there is no coriander, or put some green onions for you!" Girlfriend: "Okay, then the green onion will do." Boss: "I'm sorry, the green onions are gone!" Girlfriend: "Nothing, what do you say you have?" Boss: "Or, do you want to add some vegetable leaves to you?" ”

4. At this time last year, the beautiful woman of the Ministry of Foreign Trade borrowed me 2,000 yuan and said that she would pay me back immediately after paying my salary. When the beautiful woman handed me the money on the payday, I said with a mouth: If you are my girlfriend, not only will this money not have to be repaid, but I will also give you all my salary! As soon as beauty heard this, her eyes began to glow. Now I feel the only ten dollars in my pocket, and gradually fall into meditation, why am I so bitter, a year ago, was it my wife who routined me, or was it a routine given by my wife.....

5. Elementary school students set up a group, thinking that students who have not been in touch for a long time can get together and chat, because of the long time pass, they have forgotten how many people are in the class. Just when everyone couldn't remember, they learned to say together: "56 people, I'm sure!" I've been counting down to the bottom of my class, 56th, and I can't go wrong! "Everyone unanimously approved, after all, this number is too authoritative.

6. This night I was watching TV with the children in the living room, when my wife came back from work and fried an egg and boiled a noodle. After eating and going to wash the dishes, the kitchen light broke down and she changed a light bulb. Later, while drying clothes on the balcony, she saw a cockroach, and she picked up her slippers and beat the cockroach. When she was done, she looked at me and said, "I feel more and more that after giving birth you will have no effect." ”

7. I stole my husband's credit card and bought five Chinese, and my daughter-in-law threw me out of the house in a fit of rage. After walking around for half a day, I was very hungry, so I went to a noodle restaurant to eat beef noodles. While I was eating, a beautiful woman at the next table walked toward me. She asked me: Handsome man, do you have a girlfriend? I was stunned for a moment, and then I said, "Not yet." She smiled and said: "That's great! I was even more excited, was my happiness coming knocking. Beauty then said: Just now I was thinking, if anyone like you has a girlfriend, the world will be destroyed, but fortunately you don't have it!

8. A few days ago, my mother asked me to go on a blind date, and I was a little nervous and asked my buddies to accompany me. When I came to Starbucks, my sister had long hair and was very quiet, and I was a little moved. When I introduced myself, I said I was an underground worker. Dude listened, and sprayed all the coffee drunk on the face of the girl opposite!! He also laughed and said: "This is the first time I have heard the caretaker of the underground parking lot say such a fresh TUO vulgarity!! I must break up!!?

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