My eldest sister-in-law's bathroom was broken, so she came to my house to borrow the bathroom to take a shower. It just so happened that my wife was on a business trip again, and at night there were two people at home, me and my eldest sister-in-law. My eldest sister-in-law said to me, it is not convenient for me to take a bath at home, you still go out for a walk. I'm a little upset. You borrow my bathroom to take a shower and waste my house's water and electricity. Soap, shampoo. Now let me go out for a walk. This is not enough to say. So I said angrily to my sister-in-law. You give me ten dollars, and I'm going to buy a cup of milk tea to drink. The eldest sister-in-law snorted, only gave me eight dollars, and said to me, just buy a cup of milk tea for eight dollars. Hey, this big sister-in-law is really stingy, the next time she comes to borrow the bathroom, I promise not to open the door for her.
2. After returning from studying abroad, the sister-in-law has become very good at dressing, which is completely different from her in high school! Before the Spring Festival, the sister-in-law went home for the winter vacation, only to see her dressed in beautiful clothes, wearing a pair of boots, and flesh-colored leggings. As soon as the sister-in-law entered the door, her father-in-law was stunned, because she didn't recognize it at all! But the sister-in-law didn't care about this, and excitedly rushed over to wrap up her father-in-law and shouted, "I want to kill you!" The mother-in-law came out to see it, and immediately took the rolling pin to knock the little sister-in-law out of the house, while beating and scolding: "Where is the little fox spirit, stay away from my husband!" ”
3. I don't know what's going on, I was weak, and then I went to the hospital to see a doctor and prescribed me a lot of miscellaneous things, but I didn't see any effect after eating for more than a month. So I went to the doctor and asked, "I don't want to take all those messy drugs anymore, and the effect is not obvious." Doctor: "It doesn't matter, it seems that the problem is not here, I think you lack exercise, just open a fitness device list for you." ”
4. I accidentally fell asleep in class today, and I was called up by the teacher to answer the question. In desperation, I looked at the same table for help, the same table whispered to choose A, and as a result, everyone around me said to choose A, so I threw a trusting look at the same table and said loudly choose A. Just after saying the classroom, I laughed, and the teacher said with a look of hatred: Choose your size, I call to write a fill-in-the-blank question, you choose A for me, you give me out! Looking at the expression of the same table squeezing his eyebrows, I really wanted to smoke him a big mouth!
5. When I was working in a public company, I was very difficult with the head of the department, and I resigned in a huff. In order to live, I went to a courier company as a delivery man. After a busy morning, I went to a restaurant for dinner. There were more people inside, so I shared a table with an old couple, and the old man fed his wife in a wheelchair. The old man picked up a crayfish, pinched the head, twisted the tail, peeled the shell, and finally fed the shrimp meat to his wife's mouth. I was so touched by the boss's behavior that I couldn't help but say to the boss: "This crayfish I ordered, your dishes are next to it!" ”
6. Since I was a child, my mother has said that my grandmother is an old fox, and I will have to learn from her in the future. When my mother said that she was pregnant with my sister, others asked the doctor whether it was a boy or a girl in her belly, except for grandma, who was like no one else, and did not ask. Once the grandmother accompanied the mother to go to the obstetric examination, the doctor was particularly busy. Grandma asked carelessly: Doctor, what do you say about the nickname Tiezhu? Doctor: No, grandpa! Grandma: It seems to be a girl!
7. I worked at Foxconn for five years, and this year's efficiency is the worst, and the food in the canteen is not as good as the day. On this day, I went to Lanzhou ramen at the entrance of the company with my colleagues to understand the hunger, and the boss had a 6-year-old daughter, who looked very loli and spoke sweetly. Little Lori secretly brought me some beef. I teased her: "You're my girlfriend." "She always runs away shyly. Today, the food in the canteen was particularly bad, and my colleagues and I went to the ramen restaurant to eat noodles. The little Lori looked at me and actually slapped the table and shouted: "Dad, Dad, my boyfriend is coming, get a bowl of noodles, a big bowl!" ”
8. In the morning, I had a fight with my husband as soon as I got up, and my husband didn't say hello and went straight to work. I didn't care, I picked up the window to clean up. At this time, my son ran to me in a panic and asked me: Mom, are you arguing with your father? I nodded and said, "Hmm. The son said quietly: Mom, don't be angry, I am on your side, remember, the son is helping you, you must not learn from others like that, you can't win the child's anger!
#Funny# #搞笑段子 #