Take a bath with my girlfriend, she has to let me take off first, I drag the top, she also let me take off my pants, I said are you sick? She didn't speak, and when I was done dragging my pants, she undressed and went in to take a shower and wash herself

Take a bath with my girlfriend, she has to let me take off first, I drag the top, she also let me take off my pants, I said are you sick? She didn't speak, and when I had finished dragging my pants, she took off her clothes and went into the shower, and washed her and said: You don't take off your pants, I thought you were a man...

2 At the wedding scene of my first love, I silently sent gifts and blessings, and my first love - wearing a white wedding dress, smiling like a flower. She poured a glass of wine and handed it to me: "Thank you for coming to my wedding, don't say anything, everything is in the wine!" I swallowed the bitter and hot wine and looked at her: "You are still so beautiful, as you were!" She brushed a strand of hair hanging from her forehead and smiled: "You haven't changed at all, the first date I went on a date ten years ago, that's it - in a mountain suit, and now it's still, I remember borrowing it from your second uncle, right??" ”

3 In college, he fell in love with a goddess at first sight, and after two years of crush, he decided to wait for her to confess to her on the way home. Seeing her coming, I laughed and took out a bouquet of roses from behind: "Dangdangdang!" Flowers for beauty! The goddess frowned and took two steps back. I quickly removed the flowers and asked, "Are you allergic to flowers?" Goddess: "No, allergic to cow dung." ”

4 Valentine's Day and wife go out shopping. My wife bought a high heel, and I asked curiously: Wife, why did you buy such beautiful high heels, and no one looked at it. Wife: Not necessarily. Me: I don't believe it!! At this time, my wife suddenly shouted: Who are you, pulling me, stepping on my shoes, and my feet are swollen. At that time, it made me very embarrassed, and the eyes of the pedestrians who were shopping turned to us, and afterwards, I asked my wife: What did you just do?? Wife: Didn't you notice that a lot of people just looked at my shoes? I......

5 After graduating from college, I went to work at a travel agency and today I took a group of foreign tourists to the Shaolin Temple.

A young foreigner came up to me and said, "I want to see my chest hair." ”

I exclaimed, "Here?" Not good..."

The foreigner said, "Yes, your chest hair is beautiful." ”

I hesitated for half a long time, but still took off my shirt, and the foreigner looked at me in shock and then ran away.

I think in hindsight, he is going to the zoo, good luck his English is also past the fourth level, you say panda is not OK?

6 When I met my ex-wife on the street, I wanted to get back together with her and then invite her to dinner. When we came to the hot pot restaurant, I looked at the 156 yuan on my phone and said to her, "I'm not hungry, don't you want more!" As a result, she ordered 356 yuan, the compound thing or forget it, and finally gritted her teeth and said: "Let's AA!" The ex-wife took out 178 yuan, and when I saw that my money was still not enough, I said with a clever move: "Pay according to how much you eat!" "I didn't eat a bite, so my ex-wife paid for it all." Before leaving, my ex-wife suddenly asked me: "I hate me so much, I don't want to invite a meal..." I smiled darkly and bitterly, not that I didn't want to please, who let you order more than 156 yuan.

7 After a 70s, the uncle told the story of his childhood, and the uncle bought a black-and-white TV set at home when he was a child. At that time, it was a very strange thing, and their family was the first one in the village! On the day of the purchase, many neighbors in the village crowded in his house to watch, and when the villagers were watching the rise, his grandmother came out of the back room trembling and came out of the back room at the age of eighty, and ripped off the TV plug, leaving a sentence that made the people present at the time unforgettable: "Don't watch it, leave my son to come back to see!" "It was something new then, but it's fun to think about it now!"

8 Once, during physical education class, the wind blew so hard that it blew us like seaweed. The PE teacher, a middle-aged uncle of about 40 years old, stood at the front of the line. Say loudly and righteously: Students, you are the hope of the motherland tomorrow. You cannot be defeated by this wind. You must have the spirit of not giving up and not abandoning... Before he could finish speaking, his wig was blown into the face of the student in the front row. He had to say awkwardly: Just get out of class.

9 Days ago with a very good friend for a drink. As he was eating, he suddenly said to me, "Hey, I heard that your wife won't let you drink?" I replied with a look of indifference: "I am like a tiger at home." I'll be afraid of her! Ha ha. "After a while, I actually came back from work early!" I quickly shouted, "Quick, Wu Song is back!" Help me clean up the table! ” 

10 The hostess and I went on a business trip for a week and got pregnant when we came back. The boss suspected that it was me and fired me in a fit of rage. I went to work in an electronics factory, and the canteen food in the factory was difficult to eat. Colleagues didn't want to eat in the cafeteria anymore, so they agreed that everyone would bring a dish. After eating for a few days, I found that it was still someone else's dish that had a fresh feeling. But after a few days they wouldn't let me participate, forking the fact that I was a single dog and couldn't cook. Besides, how come the bagged squeezed vegetables bought in the supermarket are not dishes?

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