The sister-in-law was about to give birth, the contractions were crazy, and the wife whispered in her ear: Sister, relax! Before I gave birth to a child, I was in terrible pain, so I scolded your brother-in-law's bastard king and hated your brother-in-law for being stabbed with a thousand knives

The sister-in-law was about to give birth, the contractions were crazy, and the wife whispered in her ear: Sister, relax! Before I gave birth to a child, I was in severe pain, so I scolded your brother-in-law bastard Wang Baguo, hating your brother-in-law who was stabbed with a thousand knives, and could be much more comfortable. The sister-in-law ripped open her throat and came: Brother-in-law! You bastard, sister... husband! ... You're a knife," ah... Brother-in-law you king... Eight... egg! Fortunately, I was not there, and the sister-in-law in the ward, her husband, in-laws, nurses, and other pregnant women were stunned!

2. The abbot was born in the same year as his wife and was only one day before his wife. Next weekend is the abbot's birthday!! The wife asked the abbot, "How are you going to spend your birthday?" The abbot said, "How to save money and how to live!" The wife asked, "What about my birthday, how did I spend it?" The abbot said, "How happy and how to live!" The wife asked the abbot, "How can I be so happy?" The abbot said, "As long as I save money, I will be happy." ”

3. One day at the beginning of the school, I found that there was a female classmate in the class who was in good shape. Later, I studied in the library every day, just to be able to see her a few more times. I wondered to her: "In order to go to Harvard to study abroad, you get up early every day to memorize the words and do the exam papers, the exam competition is so fierce, why don't you find a foreigner to marry and directly get a green card?" She looked at me with a serious face and said, "Don't you think that the road you are talking about is more competitive?" ”

4. After the father-in-law retires from the State Grid, he has a pension of 7600 yuan per month. He usually knows how to live a good life, but he especially likes to eat fish. Walma's sea bass 9 pieces a pound, if dead put on the ice 7 pieces of two, the same fresh. The father-in-law immediately ran to buy it at 5 p.m., or was often bought, and the father-in-law stood in front of the fish tank and waited. Sometimes it didn't die for half a day, and the father-in-law went in with a net to fish and knocked the head of the fish with his handle. The salesman couldn't look at it at that time, and said to his father-in-law: Uncle, it doesn't matter if you pass out...

5. In the evening, after the media company leaves work, he takes his girlfriend to Xianhezhuang for dinner. While eating, the girlfriend said: Husband, go to the classmate group to grab the red envelope! I was holding a chopstick dish and was about to stuff it in my mouth, my girlfriend was anxious, reached over to get my mobile phone, and accidentally touched the porcelain teapot on the edge of the table and shattered it! The girlfriend took a look at the debris on the ground, nodded at the phone and said: It's okay! I grab the red packet to lose! After eating to check out, the porcelain pot lost ninety-eight, and the red envelope only grabbed one point!

6. After an extra night's shift, not a single grain of rice has entered the stomach, and after work, I go to the buffet with my colleagues. The buffet is newly opened with a discount, and only 40 yuan per person can be eaten. The three of us ate 30 pounds of pippi shrimp, 10 pounds of salmon, 50 chicken wings, and 5 large watermelons. After eating and drinking, I also took 20 bottles of drinks in the refrigerator. When I went out, I was stopped by the store manager and said: You can't take the things out of the store! The colleague burped a full and said: Then we will continue to eat. After listening to it, the store manager said excitedly: Don't say it, there is something to say! Take it!

7. My husband secretly took the money from my wallet while I was napping, and I found out. I fiercely questioned my husband: I will give you pocket money every month, how can you still steal my money, have you ever thought about my feelings? Husband: I will only take it lightly when you get the money, for fear of waking you up. For a moment I was a little moved.

8. Before the brother and sister-in-law got married, the two discussed the distribution of divorced property, and finally reached the following agreement: three houses belonged to the brother, and the five-year-old daughter belonged to the sister-in-law. Now they are just two steps away from divorce: buying three houses and having a daughter when she grows to five. The sister-in-law's sister-in-law said to the sister-in-law: What is the hurry! If you have already made a divorce agreement, what else will you get married? It's a waste of time.

 #Funny# #搞笑段子 #