In ancient times, the highest evaluation of women after marriage was "good wife and good mother", and those who could get this honorific title would be recognized by their families and society, and since then they have become a model for women to learn.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="1" what kind of wife can be called a "virtuous wife" >? </h1>
In "Men and Women in China", Yi Zhongtian wrote several things that the ancient "virtuous wife" should do.
The virtuous wife must first do this, and assist the husband in achieving fame and fortune. But what ability and insight does a woman who does not go out of the door have to assist her husband in success? Therefore, he can only follow the teachings of his in-laws, be responsible for watching her husband's every move, and constantly advise. Imagine a wife who is always nagging around, and the husband will be annoyed.
Secondly, a virtuous wife should be filial to her in-laws, that is, to be a good daughter-in-law. When marrying into the man's family, you must be filial to your in-laws, obey your in-laws' words, and you can't have the slightest idea and proposition of your own, if you have different ideas, you will be considered to be rebellious.
Again, the virtuous wife should also care for the sister-in-law and have a good relationship with the concubine. The relationship between the sister-in-law and the concubine is not well maintained, and the status in the in-laws' family is not guaranteed.
Finally, the wife has to manage the affairs of a large family. After marriage, the mother-in-law will give the family power to the daughter-in-law, and the daughter-in-law will use her wisdom to take over the power, take care of the things in the family clearly, and manage the obedience up and down to pass the pass.
Such a woman deserves the title of "virtuous wife" in ancient times.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" Data-track="3" What is the living condition of > wives? </h1>
A woman who can achieve the level of a virtuous wife is not easy, and she has worked hard, and it is reasonable to say that she should live a very happy life, but in fact it is just the opposite.
It is difficult for virtuous wives to get the love of their husbands because they are too "serious". As a wife who is being married by a ming media, she must first maintain a more orthodox image, and then she must persuade her husband to live and work according to the orthodox requirements. So in front of the husband, there will be constant nagging, no man likes the wife's nagging, naturally will not like them.
Wives let their husbands think more about their careers, they must reduce the pleasure of the boudoir, and do not let their husbands covet the affairs of husband and wife. I don't think about it myself, and many times I will refuse my husband's intimate requests. Such a wife who does not understand the style like wood, the husband will be tired, the husband who cannot get the emotional communication will have the practice of concubinage, and the wife and the husband's heart will become more and more distant.
In the mother-in-law, although trying to be a good daughter-in-law, but the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a problem since ancient times, it is not easy to deal with, a moment of harmony can not represent eternal harmony, once there are new changes in life, it is difficult to ensure that there will be no problems, so if the virtuous wives want to get the approval of the mother-in-law, they must always be careful, respectful and filial, can not resist, only promises.
The harmonious relationship with the sister-in-law and the concubine can not be maintained for a long time, and it is okay when it does not involve personal interests, if it involves personal interests, such as if the mother-in-law loves the daughter-in-law, the other concubines will be jealous and will say bad things behind their backs, which will make the mother-in-law have other ideas, and the status of the daughter-in-law is difficult to protect.
Managing a family requires thunder wrists, such a woman, often called "mother night fork" by men, The phoenix sister in the dream of the Red Chamber, can be dry and spicy, and manages a large family in an orderly manner, but Jia Lian said behind her back that she was "the wife of the king of Yan" and "the night fork star".
Therefore, if you want to maintain the reputation of a virtuous wife, you will make a lot of efforts, but it is difficult to obtain a happy life, because the positioning of a woman's virtuous wife is inherently unfair.
The unfairness is that only women are asked to be virtuous wives, not men.
The role of "virtuous wife" is designed under the premise of "male superiority and female inferiority" and "husband outside and wife inside", and is male-centered. The husband is the designer of the wife's role, so there is only one criterion for a wife's "virtuous" and "unwise", that is, whether the husband is satisfied.
And marriage is the union of two people, and only requires the woman to pay unilaterally, which is unfair in itself. And it's all the woman's fault that something bad happens to men and the whole family.
Men can't be officials, it's women who don't have good support. Men like wives and are seduced by wives. The in-laws were not happy, but the daughter-in-law did not serve well. Things in the house are not well managed, and the hostess is lazy.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="6" > modern women to be wives? </h1>
In modern society, men often lament that good wives and good mothers are too difficult to find, but humble women are often seen.
The men who say these words express two meanings: the first meaning is: they want the virtuous wives of the old times, and they want to enjoy the feeling that women are attached to them and obey their orders. The second meaning is that women nowadays are too strong to control.
These men's statements, at first hearing a little harsh, hearing this sentence, most of the women feel very angry, they are thinking: we are women in the new era, do not be the feudal advocated by the good wife and good mother.
Women are not entirely right to think this way. Let's not go from one extreme to the other.
In the new era, we women are also willing to be "virtuous wives" and do not want to be "humble women".
But in the new era, the meaning of this "virtuous wife" needs to be reformulated.
Because in the new era, the stereotypical concept of "male superiority over female inferiority" has been abandoned, and women in the new era have already had jobs and economic independence, and the old model of "male and female" has been broken, so the basis for the formulation of "virtuous wives" in the old era does not exist and must be reformulated.
First of all, if a woman wants to be a virtuous wife, the husband must have the psychology of being a virtuous husband, that is, both sides have requirements for themselves. Marriage is between husband and wife, and the basis must be equal and mutual love, not "male superiority over female inferiority".
Secondly, being a virtuous wife is a woman's voluntary choice not to accept coercion from others. The relationship with the in-laws is equal and harmonious, not to please the husband's family and only promises, not to satisfy others and wronged themselves, not to suppress themselves, not to sacrifice themselves.
Third, being a virtuous wife is a woman's requirement for herself, and it is the embodiment of kindness, generosity and love. If the non-good person encountered, the husband and the in-laws are harsh on themselves, and they do not receive the same love in return, they will withdraw in time and not be "virgins".
The current virtuous wife must first do a good job of herself, and only under the condition of ensuring that she can be economically independent, spiritually independent, and emotionally independent can she achieve the virtuous wife.
Because if you don't have the ability, how can you support a family with your husband, and how can you help your husband when he encounters difficulties?
Now the virtuous wife, do not only promise, do not lose self, do not rely on others to judge themselves, only be what they think is a virtuous wife, do a good job of the husband's virtuous help, and the husband respects and loves each other, husband and wife are in the same heart, family life is sweet and happy.
Don't be a weak woman who looks up to people's sniffles, be a self-reliant and self-reliant woman. This is the virtuous wife of the new era, and it is also the willingness of women
Willingly choose.