About Him (Mr. Xie)

Lockdown begins, unsealing ends?

Sudden heartbeat, sudden start.

I don't know where the courage comes from, I think I am the person you are waiting for, I think you are the final destination of me after a circle, I feel that we are the people who want to walk together to complete a lifetime, I think we will have a complete and happy ending, and I feel that my heart is fixed.

You are so busy every day, busy without time to accompany me, do not know whether this is a long-distance relationship should have the appearance or I want too much, you share with me so little, every day I am sharing, sharing too much as if not getting the expected response to feel unhappy, grumbling at you.

Never been the most authentic self in the heart, along the way carefully, meet you, I chose to be myself at the beginning, want to find my own comfortable state to get along with you, but also hope that you can be the most authentic self, I hope we can say nothing, I believe that all the problems as long as we say it will resonate with each other, can stand in each other's perspective for each other's consideration, to understand and tolerate. Everything may be an illusion, or it may be our commonality, in front of acquaintances have created an image that they want to see for outsiders, it is difficult to turn back, all the way looking for the person who can make themselves deep inside.

I don't like to complain about myself, and I don't like to affect your mood because I complain. I said that I don't know how to fall in love, and you said that you too, is the little freshness between us in the past or the contradiction between the image we create on the outside and the idea of being the deepest inside of ourselves.

There are no common memories...

When I messaged you at noon that day, I felt so sad and kept crying, why was I so sad? I don't know, I have to go to work in the afternoon, my eyes are still swollen, and the good thing is that I have to wear a mask and a hat at work.

Not in the mood to listen to colleagues, they talk I don't know what I'm thinking, a person got off the car at the intersection to stand guard, headache, began to think about why their head hurt so much today, and then understood, crying too long at noon, has been too long not to cry so much, has almost forgotten that they will have a headache when they cry. After standing for more than five hours, I came home from work and saw an expression that I couldn't help but want to share with you two sentences, you replied to the voice, I listened to it several times, and I listened to each of your voices several times. Hearing your voice, meeting you, hugging you, thinking of you is like the only antidote in my tired life. Everything is a two-way street, and you have become the person who can make me have the most emotional fluctuations.

At the end of the day, I had a headache and leg pain at night, and I still remembered that you said that you would talk for a while, you went to be busy first, there has been no information about you, I was wondering if I didn't have information, would you not talk like this? Is this the so-called tacit understanding between adults?

Thinking of you, is to think, can't help but think, the mood is very low, the afternoon after work back to sleep upside down, afraid of contacting you, so let yourself fall asleep, but even the dream is not happy, the dream that can not wake up, perhaps the dream outside the dream emotions are the same, when awake can not do the emotional vent do not want to wake up, want to vent in the dream. Forget where the dream ended, very calmly open your eyes, as if the dream just now is like from the beginning of the dream is to know that it is in the dream, the mood is depressed without any ups and downs, when you wake up and open your eyes, I want to send you a message to say hugs, tell you that I miss you so much, think of eating without appetite, think of not even dreaming of being unhappy...

But I don't know where to start, because I can't feel your love, we are in a different place, you don't talk too much about your thoughts and feelings, I don't know if boys are like this or you are like this, so I am a little empty, so I am not sure if my enthusiasm is superfluous, whether you don't need it...

Maybe that's why I don't like being clingy, because clinging needs to be responsive to become meaningful; or maybe it's my personal reason that I need a bigger response to make me feel firmly chosen.........

Is it also that love is difficult to open in the heart? When reason and sensibility coexist, but it is difficult to distinguish between victory and defeat...

I remember at the beginning you said I could go with you, I said it depends on how much security you can give me, you said you come home from work every day and give me enough. But the sense of security I am talking about is the security that you can give me before marriage, and I need you to give me the courage to leave everything behind and go with you.

I want to fall asleep in each other's arms every day, I want to open my eyes from your arms. I want to go with you....

I thought that love can fill the regrets of life, and the bias that creates more regrets is also love...

(Record the complicated feelings of the period without contact, maybe one day because of the joy of celebrating together, it will become a memory to share with you; or it may become the end of the period between us; or maybe it will only be recorded at this moment and will eventually be deleted only by yourself)