Excessive self-protection makes people's hearts more and more closed.
Looking at this phenomenon according to the explanation in the book "Living Soberly", in fact, people have blocked out the things that can mobilize their negative emotions in order to avoid being hurt by themselves.
Everyone has their own energy field, and energy needs to flow. Whether positive or negative, it needs to flow. They can be associated with your energy field, but they can also flow away naturally like water or air, rather than being imprisoned within yourself.
But most people will concentrate more negative energy in their own energy field, and it is best not to be discovered by anyone.
Like those who lock up happy or unhappy old things and will not look at them for decades, they often have a lot of ideological baggage in their hearts that they can't let go.
For example, many people often say, "I don't want to talk about this" and "Can we not talk about that thing?"
There always seems to be too much in people's hearts that they don't want to think about, can't touch, and shouldn't be mentioned. As you can imagine, these things cause them very bad feelings, emotions, and psychological states when they first happen.
When these things are brought up again, they will return to the feeling of not knowing how to face them.
As a result, people seal up these experiences that have brought them bad feelings, as if only by doing so can they protect themselves from the same harm.
In other words, sadness exists like a threat in people's inner world.
So these people are filled with negative energy inside, and when you deal with these types of people, you find that they are not interested in most of the things that will allow us to grow.
They kept repeating the pattern of the previous day's lives, as if each day was similar.
When you ask them how they feel every day, they don't have any unexpected answers either.
Why is that?
Because they want to avoid all the harm, they want their emotional curve to always be smooth, which means that they want nothing bad to happen.
When they communicate with others, they will try to avoid contradictions and conflicts, and when avoiding external conflicts, internal conflicts will inevitably appear in their hearts.
No one is always in agreement with what others think, and in fact, it doesn't happen very often that you agree with others.
The more you want to avoid all negative energies, emotions, feelings, thoughts, etc., the more you will turn your energy field into negative energy.
Because all the energy you don't want to flow will be accumulated in your inner world.
Self-contradiction arises when you do something you don't want to do.
For example, when you have different ideas, you don't express them in time, but in order not to argue with others and cater to the views of others; when you are obviously very sad, you have to pretend that you are not hurt, and laugh in front of others, trying to hide your true feelings; when you want to go home after work to enjoy parent-child time, in the face of the boss's overtime proposal, still smiling and responding, "I can work overtime, no problem." ”
In fact, no one forces you to keep all your negative emotions to yourself. People are always talking about staying away from negative energy, away from people who release negative energy.
However, if we think about it, are our daily experiences mixed? Everyone wants positive energy, and they are not allowed to carry negative energy, and they are not allowed to have negative energy around them. If everyone hates negative energy so much, this strange phenomenon is bound to occur.
People try to hide their negative energy part of the self, but in fact this part of the self continues to store energy in the heart, but it cannot be released.
People with strong hearts are never afraid to argue and clash with people, because where there are people, there are opinions, and everyone will only defend their own views, beliefs and principles.
If something makes you feel very sad and depressed, then what's so bad about crying and releasing your emotions? There is no need to confront normal emotions as enemies, to escape as threats.
The only way to cope with anything is that no one can control their future emotions and feelings, and no one can achieve the goal of not being hurt by closing their hearts.
Moreover, when there is nothing in your life that is worth your emotions, life will become boring. Such boredom is exchanged for people's numbness.
Because there is no event that makes you emotionally volatile, or once you think that something will mobilize your emotions, then you will subconsciously deal with this matter, so that it will not become a problem that affects your emotions.
So your daily life seems to have really become something you can control, but the backlog of emotions and negative energy in your heart is also growing.
Many people cannot be alone because when they are alone, the negative energy in their hearts will find an outlet. However, there are few people who really have the ability to be alone, and more people choose to rely on brushing dramas and mobile phones to get rid of their inner voices.
Sobriety means being able to take it and put it down, it means being able to think when you're alone, and you dare to express your true self in a crowd.
Such people, their inner energy field is not their own full control, but naturally absorb and release energy, they know that the energy itself needs to flow.
Therefore, their hearts do not have long-term accumulated pressure, and their emotional curve is also stable. It's just that the way they keep their mood steady is different from other people's.
The difference is that they do not self-suppress internally, and their consistent expression of internal and external aspects gives their hearts daily care.
No one is perfect enough not to have any negative events, not to make any "wrong" decisions, or to never have negative emotions.
Such a person does not exist, so you need to accept and listen to your inner voice, you need to understand your inner needs, rather than repeatedly suppressing yourself and ignoring yourself.
No matter what you are like in the part you want to escape, he belongs to you, and this is always a fact that cannot be changed.
Finally, to borrow a passage from "Living Soberly" as an ending, I also hope that everyone can really see the inner self - self-expression - self-growth.
True spiritual growth occurs when there is only one you in your inner world. At this point, you are not divided into two parts: one part is afraid, and the other part is protecting the part that feels afraid. ”
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