Hello everyone, I'm Shinobu.
Today, I still want to incarnate as the protagonist and tell you this story. I hope that all the women in the world can be sober when choosing marriage.
01
A few days ago, it was rare that Jiang Yi had time to accompany me and my two sons to go shopping and buy New Year goods.
In the 6 years that I have been married to Jiang Yi, the time he has been able to accompany me and my children like this is really very few.
Passing by Toys R Us, the two children couldn't walk. Children are always resistant to toys.
As soon as Jiang saw the two children standing at the door and not leaving, he led the children in. And I bought juice at the water bar opposite. While I was waiting for the juice, I heard my son's crying.
Ever since I became a mom, I've been particularly sensitive to my child's cries. With just one sound, I could tell that it was from my younger son.
Hearing the crying, I couldn't take care of the juice. Hurry into Toys R Us.
When I hurriedly ran into the store, I saw Jiang Yi lifting his feet and kicking the two children to the ground.
02
I quickly ran over to check on the two children. Seeing that the child was all right, I shouted angrily at Jiang Yi: "What are you doing?" There's something you can't say well. ”
Jiang Yi said angrily, "This is a good child you teach at home every day." I told them that one person could pick a toy, and the two of them had to go in, and one of them took several, and I said two of them, and they pushed back. ”
After listening to Jiang Yi's words, I finally understood what had happened. The child is not right, but he should not punch and kick the child in the mall.
I know that Jiang Yi has a bad temper and has never had patience for children. But I saw the child crying in horror. I was heartbroken, and I couldn't take care of much, arguing with him: "The child is not doing the right thing, you can talk to him well, they are not unable to understand, how can you beat them?" ”
He listened to me and kept counting me down, saying I wouldn't educate children and so on. The two of us quarreled like that.
Jiang Yi was angry, I quarreled with him, and he was even more angry. Seeing me squatting on the ground and comforting the child, he kicked at me.
03
This is not the first time he has used violence against me. But because of this time, I was determined to divorce him.
For divorce, I thought about it not once or twice. But I've always been scared. Because as early as the first time, Jiang Yi did something to me, when I proposed divorce, my mother-in-law said that they did not want children at home. If I want a divorce, I have to take the children with me.
Since I got married, I haven't gone out to work, I don't have a job, I have nothing, how can I raise two children?
But this time, I suddenly figured it out. As long as people live, there will always be hope.
Anyway, it's all widowed parenting, and what's the difference between a day like this and divorce? Since this is the case, I might as well let myself go.
When I said the two words divorce, Jiang Yi looked at me with disdain and sneered: "Divorce? Okay, a divorce is good. He Ying, don't regret it. ”
Do I regret it?
When I think about it, I do regret that I chose to marry into a rich family in order to live a good life.
04
I was born in a small town in Jilin Province, and my father never married a daughter-in-law when he was young because his family was poor. He was a hairdresser. Later, I opened a small shop, and the conditions improved little by little. He married my mom when he was 35 years old.
My mom was 11 years younger than my dad and was a famous beauty in the village. My dad bought a house in town at the time. I also gave my grandmother a large dowry, which married my mother back home.
The year after we got married, my mom gave birth to me. For my dad, he only got such a daughter as me at the age of 36, so he was extra pampered to me.
Because I inherited my mother's genes, I was beautiful since I was a child.
Walking on the street, many people are willing to look at me a few more times. When I was in junior high school, the boys in my class were willing to gather around me.
My academic performance is not good, but my parents do not think so, they always say: "Girls, what is the use of reading so many books, we Xiaoying is so beautiful, when we grow up, we will be able to marry a good family and live a good life." ”
After graduating from junior high school, I did not enter high school because of my poor grades. I also didn't want to go to high school, so I dropped out of school and stayed at home. Because I love beauty, I like makeup.
Later, a relative of the family was working in Nanjing at the time, and she thought it was not a problem for me to hang out at home all the time, so she asked her to go to Nanjing with her.
In this way, 16-year-old me, carrying a huge amount of 3,000 yuan given by my family, went to Nanjing and began to go alone.
05
When I arrived in Nanjing, I went to a studio as an apprentice. Start learning makeup.
After a year of apprenticeship, I became a formal makeup artist. I'm starting to be able to take on some simple little jobs. But working in the big studio, the salary is not high, and the commission is still very small.
In my third year as a full-time makeup artist, a photographer in the studio left to open his own studio. When he left, he took me with him.
That's right, at the time, I was his girlfriend.
I started a business with him to open a studio, and slowly, I accumulated some word of mouth and my own customers. Although he was very good to me, he was only a photographer after all, and the conditions at home were very average. Following him, I felt that I would probably be like this for the rest of my life. It wasn't the life I wanted, so I broke up with him.
After the breakup, I went to work in another studio. I slowly accumulated a lot of my own customers. After a few more studies, I partnered with a friend and opened my own makeup studio.
06
After I opened my own studio, one of my regular customers was a model. She and I were fellow countrymen, and later she found a rich man and went to Shenyang with her boyfriend.
There is a huge difference in bridal makeup between the north and the south. Before she was ready to get married, she found a lot of makeup artists in Shenyang, and she was not very satisfied and felt dirty. So she found me.
At the time she was getting married, I had just arranged someone else's wedding makeup. When she heard me say I already had customers, she offered three times the price, including my round-trip ticket and room and board, and I immediately agreed.
The money is really good stuff, three times the price, which is too tempting for me. Who would say that money is not earned?
For her wedding, I flew to Shenyang a day early. When I arrived in Shenyang, the person who came to pick me up was Jiang Yi.
Jiang Yi is a good friend of her husband. A good friend wants to get married, and he is naturally obligated to help. So that day, he drove to the airport to pick me up.
Jiang Yi said that when he picked me up that day, he fell in love with me at first sight. He loves my beauty.
On the way back from the airport that day, he kept chatting with me. When I went back after the wedding, it was also the airport he took me to.
07
After I returned to Nanjing, Jiang Yi often called me and sent messages to contact me.
To tell the truth, I have a good feeling for Jiang Yi, although he is not tall, not handsome, and slightly fat. But a famous brand, and driving a Mercedes, with the blessing of these external things, makes his whole person look noble.
Although I don't know the real situation in Jiang's family. But thinking that his good buddies are rich people, then his friends will not be bad.
Who wouldn't want to find a rich husband? Especially for people like me who have been working alone outside for many years, marrying a rich person and living a stable life is what I dream of.
As for Jiang Yi's very obvious overtures, of course, I responded.
More than half a month after returning to Nanjing, I once had a fever. I lay at home and couldn't get up. I sent a message to Jiang Yi, saying that I couldn't get up, saying that I especially wanted to eat a bowl of sea cucumber stewed millet porridge that I had eaten at the wedding last time. Jiang replied with a message: "Wait for me."
I just thought he was joking, but he didn't expect that in the evening, he appeared in front of my house carrying a thermos bucket and a bowl of sea cucumber millet porridge.
To be honest, I was very touched. He was left at home for the night.
He stayed with me in Nanjing for a few days, my illness completely improved, and after taking him to Nanjing for two days, he returned to Shenyang. Before leaving, he pulled me in love. Said he would come back in a few days.
08
After we established the relationship, Jiang Yi would come to Nanjing to see me almost every ten days a week. Every time he stayed with me for two or three days, he would go back again. At that time, I was particularly busy in time for the wedding ceremony. The time of day is full. I don't have time to spend time with him during the day, and he never complains. Instead, quietly accompanied me to work.
He said, "I just want to be able to look at you." ”
After I got off work, Jiang Yi would always take me shopping, and he bought me a lot of expensive and beautiful clothes, designer bags and big-name cosmetics. He always said that his women were so beautiful, they should be dressed up beautifully.
At that time, I felt that it was really my luck to find a man like Jiang Yi who was rich and good to me.
After falling in love with Jiang Yi, I learned about Jiang Yi's situation.
Jiang Yi's hometown is In Benxi Huanren, Liaoning. His father was the president of a local bank. His mother has been in the Chinese herbal medicine business. Over the years, we have also done a lot of work. Jiang Yi graduated from a pharmacy university and studied pharmacy. After graduation, he worked for a pharmaceutical company with a modest income.
Although Jiang Yi did not earn much himself, he had a solid family and wanted to come to a generous place. His parents were also generous to him, even though he spent his money. Naturally, someone would return his credit card every month.
This makes me envious. Although I earn a lot of money, as a person who is at the forefront of fashion every day, I always need more. Over time, I started to make ends meet, and I got one credit card after another.
When Jiang Yi and I learned that my credit card had been swiped off nearly 50,000 yuan, he took 80,000 yuan to me. He said let me return my credit card quickly, and the rest of the money was given to me as pocket money.
It was because of his actions that I made up my mind to marry him.
09
During the 4th month of my relationship with Jiang Yi, he asked me to go to Shenyang. He said he didn't want to be separated from me like this anymore, he wanted to see me every day.
I took the opportunity to say, "You have a job, what can I do when I go to Shenyang?" ”
He said, "You don't have to work, you just have to be with me." We get married. I raise you. ”
To marry him, I naturally agreed happily. So I quickly took care of everything in Nanjing. Jiang Yi deliberately drove to Nanjing. Helped me move everything to Shenyang.
For my marriage to Jiang Yi, my parents naturally agreed with joy. But Jiang Yi's mother felt that I had a beautiful face and was of no help to their family. But because Jiang Yi liked it, she didn't embarrass me much.
Jiang Yi and I quickly registered for marriage. Because the house and the car are ready-made. Knowing that I was married into a rich family, my parents were afraid that I would be looked down upon in my in-laws' family, and they did not ask for a bride price. Jiang Yi originally wanted to buy me a large diamond ring, but my mother-in-law felt that the diamond ring was useless. In the end, the diamond ring was not bought, but bought me a few pieces of gold jewelry.
The wedding was held in Huanren, Jiang Yi's hometown. The in-laws also have a head and face task in the local area, so the wedding is extremely luxurious.
10
Jiang Yi is actually a person with a very simple life, probably because he was rich since childhood, so he does not require much for his quality of life, as long as he keeps it normal and clean and comfortable.
Many of his friends live in mansions and drive luxury cars. He didn't care much about that either. So he has been living in school, his parents near the school, bought him a 90-square-meter two-bedroom apartment, and drove the old Mercedes-Benz that his mother-in-law drove.
When I married him, I didn't mention buying another house and a car. Because my mother said at that time: "Don't bring it up now, so that the in-laws will feel that you are not marrying on their family's terms." And buying a house after marriage, that is your husband and wife's common property. ”
I thought that what my mother said made sense, so after getting married, I have been living in Jiang Yi's old house.
11
I gave up everything I had in Nanjing for Jiang Yi and came to Shenyang.
I don't have any friends in Shenyang. The only person I knew was the customer I had before, the wife of Jiang Yi's friend.
She was pregnant at the time and was waiting to give birth at home. When I had nothing to do, I would go to her house and talk to her.
I watched her live in a mansion with a nanny to take care of. As a woman, how can I not be envious. I tapped on the side more than once, saying that I envied her life.
But Jiang Yi said that he did not like that there was an outsider hanging around the house every day. I knew his temper and didn't say anything more.
Not long after, one of my cousins was getting married. She also married into the rich. Jiang Yi and I went to Guangzhou to attend her wedding. Look at her living in a large flat layer of 300 square meters on the edge of the Pearl River. I was envious.
After her cousin's wedding, she and her brother-in-law returned to their hometown in Jilin. Jiang Yi and I also planned to go back to see it together. We came to Shenyang together, ready to play in Shenyang for two days, and then drive back from Shenyang together.
When I arrived in Shenyang, when my brother-in-law saw me and Jiang Yi living in an old house of 90 square meters, my brother-in-law could not help but look down on Jiang Yi a little. Originally planned to live at home, he immediately said that he was going to stay in the hotel. Jiang Yi said that staying in a hotel is also good and convenient. So he prepared to send them to the hotel. When leaving, my cousin and brother-in-law went downstairs first. While waiting for us downstairs, he said to his cousin, "Didn't you say that your brother-in-law's family is in good condition?" How to live in such a place, so small. ”
These words happened to be heard by Jiang Yi who came out later. Jiang Yi's face was not very good at that time, but he did not have a seizure in person.
12
After walking around Shenyang for two days, we went back to our hometown in Jilin together.
After returning from Jilin, Jiang Yi was probably stimulated by his brother-in-law. He offered to buy a house. Also dragged me around to see the house.
After a few days of looking at the house, we finally took a fancy to a large flat floor of 280 square meters in the neighborhood where his friend lived. The house was in the best part of the city center, and at that time the full payment was 6 million.
Although Jiang Yi's family conditions are good, he does not have much money in his own hands, and he will definitely have to pay for such a thing as buying a house. So after taking a fancy to the house, he called his mother-in-law.
My mother-in-law was also very satisfied with the house we chose, and paid a deposit on the spot, saying that she would buy the house in full. Watching my mother-in-law help us pay the deposit, I began to fantasize about living in this big house in the future.
I thought that this house was bought by Jiang Yi and me after marriage, and that the real estate deed would naturally have my name on it. But I didn't expect that before signing the contract, my mother-in-law proposed that the house should write her name. Her reasoning was that she was a legal person of the company. The house can serve as proof of her assets. In terms of her later loans from the bank.
She said to me, "Xiaoying, you married Jiang Yi to be nice to him, not for our family's money." Now the house though is written in my name. But it's also for you. I am such a son as Jiang Yi, will everything not be yours in the future? ”
In order to reassure me, my mother-in-law also said that she would give me 20,000 yuan per month for living expenses in the future.
I thought I would soon be able to live in a big house, and I would have 20,000 yuan more per month, so I didn't say anything.
13
The house is an existing house and is well decorated. After the house was bought, Jiang Yi and I bought some furniture and appliances and prepared to move in. Just as I was overjoyed and ready to move into a new house, I found out I was pregnant.
Because I was pregnant, I was afraid that formaldehyde in the new house would not be good for the child, so we canceled the original plan to move.
The new house was open for ventilation until I was almost 5 months pregnant and we moved in.
I finally got into the big house I had dreamed of, but the contradictions followed.
Since I got married, because I don't go to work, the housework naturally falls on my head. Jiang plays games every day after work and does not do any work. It turned out that there were only 90 square meters in the house. It was only the two of us who lived, so there wasn't much housework either. It's nothing I pack up every day by myself.
But after moving into the new home, the house became bigger. Housework is also several times greater. I'm pregnant again. But Jiang Yi still didn't do anything, and after a few days of cleaning up, I offered to hire a nanny. But Jiang Yi said: "You take it at home every day, clean up the housework and find a nanny?" As I said a long time ago, I don't like it when there are outsiders in the house who dangle around every day. ”
To reduce their workload. So I changed the housework to cleaning once every three days. The cleanliness of the home will naturally decline, but Jiang Yi does not say anything.
When I was about to give birth, I offered to find a sister-in-law or go to the confinement center. But the mother-in-law said: "How can the sister-in-law of the moon be an outsider, can she take good care of you?" I'll give your mother the money to your mother, my own daughter, and she will definitely take care of you. ”
While I was hesitating, my mother-in-law called my mother herself and told her her what she was thinking. Naturally, my mother readily agreed. So she rushed from her hometown to take care of me.
After I gave birth to my son, it was all my mother who took care of it. When I was confined, my mother-in-law came to see me, and she was overjoyed to hold her eldest grandson. But when she first said that she wanted to give my mother money, she not only did not cash it, but did not mention it.
14
After my mom helped me with another 2 months of children here, she remembered that my dad was home alone, and she went back.
I started a life of being alone with kids. I thought that after my mother left, Jiang Yi had changed. But I was wrong. Jiang Yi still did what he wanted. Housework is not extended. Kids don't help with it either. Every day after work, I either went to a party with friends or went back to my room to play games. Sometimes I even go to play mahjong with my friends and don't come home for days and nights.
I'm angry about that. But every time I went out to play mahjong and came back, whether I won or lost, he would give me 5,000 yuan. Although it is not much, it is not a small amount for me who has no income.
For the sake of money, I don't say anything more.
After my mother returned to her hometown, she would often video with me. Every time I saw me alone at home with my children and couldn't even eat, my dad was heartbroken. He urged my mom to come and help me.
After my mom was at home for 3 months, she came over to help me with the baby again.
With my mom's arrival, someone helped me with the baby. Jiang Yi was even more unscrupulous in playing games and playing mahjong every day.
I have told Jiang Yi countless times that my mother is here, and I hope he can restrain some. Nothing to spend with the kids. But he felt that all the expenses of me and my mother now were paid by his family. My mom and I didn't do anything at home, so we should educate our children well. In his opinion, the education of my children is my own responsibility.
15
Jiang Yi not only did not like to take children, but even sometimes children were noisy, and he also felt annoyed.
When the child was more than one year old, one weekend morning, my mother went out to buy groceries and I cleaned up in the living room. Jiang Yi, on the other hand, was sleeping in his room and had not yet gotten up.
When I was cleaning, the child did not know when he entered Jiang Yi's room with a toy. The son probably wanted him to play with him. So I sat down on top of him and poked him with a toy.
Children, sometimes the start is always not light or heavy. He poked Jiang Yi in the face with the toy and made Jiang Yi hurt. Jiang, who was awakened, lost his temper. Reach out and slap the child.
My son was beaten and cried. I heard my son's crying and rushed over. Looking at my past, Jiang Yi threw a tantrum at me even more, saying that I couldn't even look at my children well and see what I could do.
The more he talked, the angrier he became, and finally he slapped me. I was beaten with grievances. The child was also frightened to cry. It didn't take long for my mom to come back. She heard the child crying and asked me what was wrong. For fear that she would be worried, I didn't say anything. Just say that the child accidentally fell a little.
16
After being beaten by him that day, I thought about getting a divorce. Hearing that I was going to get a divorce, my mother-in-law rushed over. After hearing about the origin of the matter, she only lightly counted Jiang Yi a few words, and later began to say that I did not understand things, saying that Jiang Yi worked so hard, how could she disturb his sleep, and so on. Finally, she said, "He Ying, you can think about it." Divorce is okay, the kids are still young, you have to take the kids with you. ”
I thought that the child was still so young, how would I live alone with him?
Just when I was hesitating about my future life, I found myself pregnant again. I learned that I was pregnant again. Jiang Yi was very happy. He immediately apologized to me. I looked at my lovely son and thought about Jiang Yi's kindness to me, and the unborn child in my belly. In the end, I chose to forgive.
17
But the arrival of the second treasure did not make my life better.
Not long after Erbao was born, her mother-in-law excused that the business was not good now, and the funds were tight, and reduced the living expenses of 20,000 yuan given to me every month to 10,000. Although Jiang Yi is usually responsible for the expenses of gas, electricity, water and electricity and eating at home, my 10,000 yuan needs to bear the daily expenses of two children every month.
For this reason, Jiang Yi and I complained. But he felt that I was spending too much.
I thought that the birth of Erbao would allow Jiang Yi to more or less shoulder the responsibility of being a father together. But everything seems to be backfire.
Jiang Yi still went his own way. Only then did I find out that children are really dispensable for Jiang Yi. Nothing has changed in his life.
How many times have my mind been racing with the thought of divorce.
Once upon a time, I just thought that if I married into a rich family, I would have a good life. But when I really married in, I didn't experience the so-called sense of superiority, only felt the cold of the bone.
But can I afford to leave now?
18
The disappointment with Jiang Yi made me choose not to quarrel anymore. But my forbearance was exchanged for Jiang Yi's intensification. He was silent from the very beginning. Later, it escalated to the point of commanding my mother. It's not that my mother's cooking is not delicious. I just don't think I wiped it clean.
After Erbao was born, Dabao had not yet reached the age of kindergarten. To take care of two children at the same time, my mother and I were both exhausted. And in line with the principle of "the eldest is raised according to the book, the second is like a pig". My mother and I both obviously cared for Erbao as much as we did when we took care of Dabao.
When Erbao was 6 months old, he had 2 consecutive illnesses. This made the mother-in-law unable to look at it. She ran to the house and counted me and my mom down.
19
In the years since I married Jiang Yi, in the eyes of outsiders, I have married a rich man and lived in a glamorous mansion. But only I know that in this marriage, nothing is my own.
After getting married, whether it was when I bought a house or later Jiang Yi changed cars, it was written in the name of my mother-in-law. The only thing that belongs to me is that after I gave birth to Erbao, in order to facilitate me to take my two children out to play, Jiang Yi bought me a second-hand Swift. It cost fifty thousand dollars to buy the car, and at my repeated insistence, i wrote my name.
His friends saw me driving a second-hand swift and said why didn't he buy a better car for his daughter-in-law. Jiang Yi replied: "She has not been on the road, first buy one as a toy to practice her hands." When the practice is almost over, I will give her another one. ”
Everyone thought she was doing well, but only she knew that her life was a chicken feather.
20
This time, Jiang Yi acted in public, which made me firmly believe in the idea of divorce.
After seeing that I was determined to divorce this time, my mother-in-law and Jiang began to think about how to protect their rights to the greatest extent.
Both the house and Jiang Yi's car are the names of their mother-in-law. I can't take it. The only thing that can be fought for is the two children. This time they saw that I had an iron heart, and in order to avoid me using the child to blackmail them for money in the future, they proposed that the child be raised by their family.
But from childhood to adulthood, Jiang Yi never took a child for a day. If the children give them to him, how can he take care of them?
Eventually, after several consultations. Custody of the children belongs to me. The used car I bought for me was also given to me. Jiang Yi symbolically compensated me with 100,000 yuan, and then gave 6,000 yuan per month to the two children in child support.
21
Knowing the news of my divorce, everyone was not worth it for me, and they all said that if I fought a lawsuit, I could get more.
But I don't want to waste any more time. This marriage, I was wrong from the beginning, after all, when I first got married, I was interested in his conditions.
But I finally understood that his wealth and status belonged to his family, not mine.
If I had to find a fault for this marriage, blame my original greed.
Where there is greed, there is loss. Where there is giving, there will be blessings.
When Jiang Yi and I went through all the divorce procedures and returned to my hometown with my mother and two children, my heart was extremely calm.
At that moment, I said goodbye to the past in my heart.
For the future, I want to rely on myself.