Win-win thinking in negotiations

This is the 70th story of Uncle Bear's Career.

Dear listeners, friends, today's title of "Uncle Xiong's Speech Career" is "The Story of Dividing the Cake". In many negotiation sciences, the story of dividing the cake is used as a case.

The story I tell you today is that there is a family, the father bought a very delicious chocolate cake, how to divide the two children of his family? Of course, the father knows that the brother wants to eat more, and the younger sister also wants to eat more, but how to divide it so that the two children feel that it is fair to be a father.

At this time, his father put this cake on the table and asked his brother to cut it first, and then his brother was very happy, and he wanted to cut it the way he did, what was his way? Cut a little more, that was his first reaction, because Dad didn't say anything, and he didn't think of anything else.

But in that instant, his father said that after you have cut the cake, please put the knife on the table, and then the sister will choose which half to eat. The brother found that there was an article in it, and he could not use the original idea, because after the original idea was cut, if he was selected by his sister, what should he do?

Didn't the sister become more than eating? No, he changed the way he cut the cake. After cutting the cake, the brother put the knife down and said to his sister very politely, "Brother has been very kind to you since he was a child, right?" So, today's cake you have to choose which side of the brother has no opinion, you choose slowly. ”

In fact, at this time, my brother was thinking about choosing, choosing, choosing, and you wanted to choose more doors, I had already cut the cake almost the same, which was my brother's mood.

My sister has a lot of mixed feelings, are you really fair to cut? Is it really a binary? Sister is looking left and right, why? She wondered if there would be any more on one side at the last chance, and of course she wouldn't say thank you brother, you cut it fairly, because she spent all her time thinking about which half she was going to choose.

Then this story will be told here for the time being, let me share it with you, maybe some people will think of saying that the brother should let the sister well, because the elder and young are orderly, maybe some people say that the sister should let the brother, because Kong Rong let the pear, maybe you can ask the father to buy a cake, and so on.

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This story tells us how to seek the best win-win.

The boy in the story originally wanted to cut that moment, he wanted to cut a little more, because then his father told him that when his sister chose first, he changed the original way of cutting the cake. Of course, this can sometimes be called dichotomy, the story of the cake shows the essence of cooperation, that is, to be altruistic first, which is also an example that we have learned to use in negotiation, that is, to show that we should not turn ourselves into a passive or unfair state.

Therefore, we can say that we can compare negotiation to a game, and I prefer to think of it as a starting point for cooperation between the two sides.

This story is actually more illustrative of the fact that if we want to be happy ourselves, we must first make others happy, and if we want to succeed ourselves, we must first make others successful.

Later in this story, we can imagine that if the cake had not been divided in this way, it would probably have had some other reaction, one side being happy and the other not getting it.

In this story, I would like to give you the following two points:

First, if you have the opportunity to cut this cake, then from today's story you have to understand, is to let the other party be able to choose. The most inappropriate method is that you cut again, and then you choose and give it to the other party to say that this is yours. Of course, if you think in a different position, you will find that others will not like this, because the cut is also you, the choice is also you, the score is also you, and the fairness between this cannot be accepted.

More importantly, when others come to cut the cake, we must remember that we must stand in this position of choice, that is, we must not compromise or tolerate, and cut is also your choice. And you yourself stand in a passive situation, which is not happy with the story of our cake cutting.

We must have a calm, we must have a calm, even tolerance, but the basic conditions are what you deserve, and you absolutely cannot compromise.

Usually when we negotiate, we all know that we want a win-win situation, but we ignore what win-win means.

In today's story, I just talked to you about fairness or win-win in the first way, is to use the story of the cake, but the next time another story, I want to talk to you about a story of oranges, that story is different from this story, this story I think is more negative, it is to make a redistribution on an established, existing model, a way to do a redistribution, is to stand in a cut and choose or score framework, and does not use more skills, wisdom, strategy, Or tactics.

So in today's story, you can also think from different angles, and the same cake-cutting story can trigger many, many other ways.

Listeners, friends, what do you think? Thank you!

-END-

Attached is a brief introduction of Professor Huang Tianzhong

Huang Tianzhong, Ph.D. in Educational Psychology, Drick University, Iowa, USA, Postdoctoral Visiting Scholar, School of Education and Research, Harvard University, USA, is currently an overseas director, professor, doctoral supervisor of the Board of Trustees of Huaqiao University, Dean of the Institute of Career Education, and President of cook University China Campus in New York, USA. He has served as Professor of Psychology, Chair of the Department of Public Administration, Dean of the School of Research at Tamkang University, Taiwan, Professor and Vice President of oklahoma City University, and Professor and President of Psychology at Armstrong University in California, USA.

Professor Huang Tianzhong has received numerous honors and has been honored with the Who's Who in America for his outstanding contributions to international cooperation in higher education; He was selected as an outstanding educator in the 21st century by The TBC of Cambridge, and was listed as one of the "Chinese in the world" by China Central Television .

Professor Huang Tianzhong has made profound achievements in the field of career education and psychology, and has authored more than 30 books, including "Sun Tzu's Art of War and Career Planning", "Life Planning - Experiential Learning" (Infant Edition, Primary School Edition, Higher Vocational Edition, Secondary School Edition, University Edition), "Personnel Psychology", "Early Childhood Psychology", "Hospice Care - Theory and Practice", "Introduction to Death Education - Research on Death Attitude and Hospice Care". The "Career Planning - Experiential Learning" taught by him was listed in the first batch of "National Excellent Online Open Courses" and "National First-class Undergraduate Courses" by the Ministry of Education of the People's Republic of China.

Professor Huang Tianzhong had two firsts in China: he founded China's first hospice research center; and created China's first American MBA.

Voice & Manuscript Source: Huang Tianzhong (recorded in 2018)

Proofreaders: Cai Huayi, Feng Liyuan

WeChat public account: Career Road Studio

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