"Cao Qian, why is your heart so fierce?" After his wife Liu Hongyu died of cancer, Cao Zhaogang, who was also suffering from cancer, lamented heavily, and then the old tears flowed.
The Cao Qian in his mouth is the only daughter of him and his wife, the couple raised her with hard work, carried debts to send her to study abroad, but she went abroad for 17 years, even if her mother died, she refused to show up.
What happened between Cao Qian and her parents, so that the blood thicker than water affection could not reconcile her contradictions with her parents?
The story has to start from Cao Qian's growth experience...
In 1979, Cao Qian was born into an ordinary family in Caojiadi Village, Dalian, and her birth brought infinite joy to the Cao couple.
The couple thought that the conditions at home were not very good, and Liu Hongyu was already an elderly mother at the time, so they decided that as long as there was a child, the two planned to train her to grow up.
When Cao Qian was just born, her body was somewhat weak, and her parents were in pain, even if she cut down on food and clothing, she had to buy various nutritional products to supplement her body.
Usually, Cao Qian has a small illness, and her parents are even more anxious. Once, Cao Qian had a fever in the middle of the night, and her father was so anxious that he forgot to wear his shoes, so he carried her on his back and ran wildly towards the health center.
In a word, this daughter is the flesh on the tip of their hearts, the pearl in the palm of their hand.
Cao Qian, who has received full of love, has not lived up to the expectations of her parents, and has been a well-behaved and filial little cotton jacket since she was a child. She often beat her parents' backs, told stories, and made the couple happy.
After Cao Qian went to school, her parents let her study with peace of mind and did not let her suffer a little life. They never let her do a little housework, "you just have to study hard, don't worry about anything else." ”
The conditions at home are not good, even if they tighten their pants and belts, they do not treat their daughters badly in terms of food and clothing. After the child went to middle school, the couple often carried nutritional products to comfort her.
Under the careful care of her parents, Cao Qian is also very competitive, from primary school to high school, the examination is the best school, the academic performance is also among the best in the class, and she has been the class leader for many years.
Watching their daughter win back one award certificate after another, the parents looked at it in their eyes and were happy in their hearts, and they pasted the award certificates all over the wall like a family treasure.
When the neighbors saw that their family had such an excellent child, they all cast envious eyes, which made the simple parents feel extremely proud.
Everything was going in the direction that Cao Qian's parents expected, but they never thought of it, because they inserted a foot at the crossroads of their daughter's life, which completely destroyed this beautiful family relationship.
After Cao Qian went to high school, she gained insight and became independent in her thinking, and she began to have her own plans for the future.
At this time, her parents did not realize that their daughter had grown up and had her own ideas, and in their eyes, Cao Qian was still the obedient little cotton jacket.
In her junior year of high school, Cao Qian faced the first major choice in her life - to fill in the university volunteer. She has always wanted to see the new world in the prosperous and developed south, so she made her own decision to fill in the three volunteers of the university in the south.
On this day, as soon as she returned home, she saw an angry look on her father's face, and it turned out that his father had learned from his teacher that he had filled out the volunteer form.
Cao Qian patiently explained to her father, who knew that he had a black line on his face, "What are you doing as a girl running so far!" Isn't it great to develop in your hometown? ”
According to her father's meaning, she reported to Liaoning Normal University as the most appropriate, not only close to home, but also able to become a teacher in the future and hold an iron rice bowl.
Cao Qian was also anxious, "Anyway, I'm going to go to the south to study at university!" She shouted at her father.
"Snap"! The angry Father Cao was excited for a moment, reached out and slapped his daughter, after the beating, he himself froze, you know, his daughter grew up from childhood, he was not even willing to scold once!
Cao Qian had a look of disbelief, tears began to swirl in her eyes, and she turned around and left without looking back.
After returning to school, perhaps in order to give an explanation to her father; perhaps confident that she would not be reduced to being admitted by the third choice, Cao Qian still changed the third choice to Liaoning Normal University.
But fate was just so coincidental, she was actually admitted to Liaoning Normal University!
When her parents heard the news, a bright smile appeared on their faces; but Cao Qian's heart seemed to fall into an ice cellar.
The Cao couple did not know that their daughter had planted the seeds of resentment in their hearts, she hated them for controlling their lives, and hated them for ruining their future.
Cao Qian stepped into the campus of Liaoning Normal University with an extremely disappointed and unwilling mood. From that moment on, she began to fall willingly.
In fact, with her knowledge base and ingenuity, she is fully expected to become the school's academic bully, but she is depressed, she chose to break the jar and break it, often skipping class, and perfunctorily treating her studies.
Soon, she became acquainted with a group of students with a good family environment, and under their influence, she began to become vain, often following them to eat and drink outside, sometimes even playing all night.
The peasant parents of the family work hard every day and live frugally, but they try to meet their daughter's material requirements, just so that she can study wholeheartedly in school.
They did not expect that the daughter, who had always worked hard, had willingly degenerated and had to get by.
At the end of a semester, Cao Qian actually hung up six subjects! At this time, she also began to realize the seriousness of the problem, according to her academic performance, whether she could successfully graduate was unknown.
Once, she happened to see an advertisement for a study abroad institution, so she was moved and decided to study abroad, one can avoid not graduating from college, the other can go to study abroad gilded, the future is definitely bright.
With this goal, she began to study hard, and because of her solid knowledge and talent, she successfully obtained an admission letter from a university in Germany during her sophomore year and junior year.
Cao Qian's parents were still in the dark, and when they heard their daughter say that she might not be able to graduate from college and chose to study abroad, she was so shocked that she could not speak.
Before her daughter went to the south, they all gave up, and now she still wants to go abroad, which simply refreshes their imagination.
"How good it is to go abroad, it is easy to find a job when you come back, and your salary is also high..." Cao Qian saw her parents' petrified faces and instilled a beautiful vision in them.
"How much does it cost?" Father Cao had a hard time coming back to God, and it was good to study abroad, but the first thing he thought of was the problem of money.
"70,000", when he heard his daughter say this number lightly in his mouth, Cao's father was even more shocked and instantly opened his mouth.
"No, we can't afford that!" He instinctively refused his daughter's request.
70,000, for their poor family, is simply astronomical, the couple has been cutting back on food and clothing for decades, and they have saved ten thousand savings through hard work, which is already their entire family foundation.
Looking at their daughter's face full of disappointment and dissatisfaction, the Cao couple was both worried and uncomfortable.
At night, the couple tossed and turned, knowing that if they could not meet their daughter's request this time, she would certainly resent herself; if she could not graduate successfully, the future prospects would be even more uncertain.
Thinking about it, the couple finally gritted their teeth and decided to grant her wishes.
In order to raise enough money, the couple could only whisper to their relatives, but most of the relatives were poor people in the countryside, and they couldn't even take care of their own homes. This time, the couple found nothing.
Just when the couple was at a loss, the sister of the Cao family, who was slightly more prosperous, finally agreed to lend them 60,000 yuan, which solved the couple's urgent needs.
"70,000 yuan, take it well." Father Cao carefully handed Cao Qian the hard-won money, as if holding a bag of treasures, this old man in the countryside had lived most of his life and had never taken so much money.
Cao Qian silently took the money and turned away.
At this moment, Father Cao's heart had a feeling of being hollowed out. What was even more unexpected to him was that the parting from his daughter was forever.
Before going abroad, Cao Qian told her classmates that her parents had done their best to go abroad, and they would be independent abroad in the future and try to reduce the burden on their parents.
But Cao Qian, who has not suffered since childhood and has been far away, where does she understand the sufferings of the world? She thinks of studying abroad life too simply and beautifully, in fact, life abroad is far more difficult than she imagined.
Let's not say that the level of foreign consumption is many times higher than that of china, a person comes to a foreign country, first of all, the language is not understood, the environment is strange, which is equivalent to everything having to start from scratch.
Before going to college, Cao Qian had to learn German and study preparatory courses, which added an additional expense, and more importantly, she did not know German and could not go out to do part-time work.
After removing tuition and airfare, her parents gave very little money, and soon Cao Qian's financial situation was stretched. As a last resort, she could only reach out to her parents at home.
At first, when she called her parents to ask for money, she would still nag them a little, but as the economy became more and more embarrassing, she could not even support the international long-distance expenses, and the number of phone calls became less and less.
Sometimes, as soon as she called, she directly said that she wanted money, and in the end, she simply stopped calling and wrote a letter.
Cao Qian's parents have lived in the countryside for most of their lives, they have never seen anything in the world, and their daughter does not actively communicate with them, they naturally cannot appreciate how difficult it is for a person to live in a foreign country.
The misalignment of communication between the two sides has made the contradictions between each other continue to widen, and the parents' side blames the daughter for not having a warm greeting every time she calls, but just coldly reaching for money, completely inconsiderate of her indebted parents.
On her daughter's side, she has no relatives abroad and is embarrassed by her livelihood. In urgent need of financial support, she can only regard her parents as the only straw to save her life.
The contradictions between the two sides finally broke out in a telephone communication. This time, Cao Qian dialed the home phone again, she still went straight to the point as soon as she opened her mouth, and asked her father for money: "I have no money to use, send me money..."
It's money again! This daughter only knows how to ask her parents for money every time, and within two years, she has sent her thirty thousand yuan, and the family has old debts that have not been paid off, and new debts have been added.
Father Cao, who was already under great mental pressure, finally couldn't hold back this time, "Money, money, money, every time you know that you want money, you want our lives!" ”
Cao Qian, who was in a desperate situation and extremely helpless, heard this sentence, and after a pause, he coldly replied: "I will not look for you even if I die", and hung up the phone.
The only straw that saved her life was no longer counted, and her despair could be imagined.
Is this still the father who loves him the most, the father who has helped himself take care of everything since he was a child? Now that he is in a desperate situation, how can he be so desperate?
After this time, Cao Qian did not contact her parents for nearly ten months, during which time, Cao and his wife have been worried and afraid of what happened to their daughter, but the mountains and rivers are far away, and there is nothing they can do, so they can only do it in a hurry.
Finally, almost ten months later, Cao's father finally waited for his daughter's phone call, and as soon as he heard her voice, his anxiety and worry that had been accumulating for ten months turned into anger: "You still know that the phone call is back, I thought you were dead!" ”
Immediately on the other end of the phone, there was a series of "beep beep" sounds, and Cao Qian hung up the phone with a snap!
Cao Mu couldn't help but blame her husband, "My daughter just called once and came over, and she was angry with you again." ”
Father Cao was anxious and angry, wasn't he too worried about this girl before he was angry!
Next, the couple fell into a long wait day after day, but they waited for more than a year, and their daughter was never heard.
When the Spring Festival of 2005 came, the village was full of lights, family reunions and celebrations, and laughter. The Cao couple's home was deserted, they made a large table of dishes, and left a pair of dishes for their daughter.
At this time, they longed for their daughter to suddenly appear at the door and shout to them: "Mommy and Daddy, I'm back" Ah!
However, from beginning to end, the daughter's shadow did not appear, not only did not appear, she did not even have a holiday greeting to her parents.
The couple could not stay up any longer, they were worried that their daughter had encountered an accident outside, and after several twists and turns, the two contacted the German consulate through the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and entrusted the consulate staff to help find the whereabouts of their daughter.
According to the information provided by the second elder, the consulate staff finally found Cao Qian's address, but when they came to contact, they ate a closed door every time.
After this, Cao Qian even moved her residential address and changed her phone, completely losing the news.
Cao Qian's disappearance is more than ten years!
In these long years, the Cao couple survived in endless thoughts and worries, and slowly turned a green hair into white hair.
They no longer have any illusions about their daughter, and only hope to hear from her, to know that she is still alive in this world.
In 2018, cao and his wife, who were nearly 70 years old and both suffered from cancer, had to apply to the government for a minimum guarantee due to their difficult lives, and according to the regulations, they had to show evidence of no child support.
The couple sent another letter to the German consulate, again asking for their help in finding their daughter's whereabouts. This time, the news from the consulate was that there was no such person.
Just when the couple fell into sadness and despair, they got news from a German Chinese, it turned out that Cao Qian had returned to China in 2004, and she stayed in Shanghai for more than ten days before flying back to Germany!
Returning to China, they did not contact their parents or go home to see their parents, and the couple realized that their daughter had decided to break off relations with herself at that time.
In 2020, the Cao couple realized that their time was running out and longed to see their daughter again before they died. With nothing to do, the couple could only turn to the media for help.
However, in the interview, the couple hesitated, fearing that after the incident was exposed, it would cause trouble to their daughter's life.
"We don't expect her to retire, as long as this person is still alive in the world..." The couple's words were sad and sad, revealing a deep helplessness.
"My tears have dried up", Cao Mu touched her daughter's old photo album, her face full of folds of sadness.
As soon as the report was published, it immediately caused a huge sensation in the whole society, and at the same time that the overwhelming public opinion accusations pointed to Cao Qian, overseas Chinese and hometown associations from all over Germany also began to take action to help Cao and his wife find the whereabouts of their daughter.
After more than twenty days of casting a net search, someone in the know finally came to the news, it turned out that Cao Qian was not only alive, but also quite successful.
She was married and had children, and had become a lifelong professor at the University of Munich, and the consulate couldn't find her because she had changed her name and surname!
However, Cao Qian is still reluctant to see her parents, until 2020, When Cao Mother and Cao Father died of serious illness, she did not show up!
From 2003 to 2020, Cao Qian did not contact her parents for 17 years, and even refused to see her parents for the last time, which is really incredible.
Someone once deliberately ran to ask Cao Qian: "Why don't you see your parents?" What I got was a response of "I'm busy and not available," which can be described as perfunctory and indifferent.
"Why do you resent your parents so much?" For this question, Cao Qian said in an even more excited tone, that is, her parents were too strong in their desire to control themselves and let themselves feel suffocated, so they fled.
It is undeniable that before Cao Qian went to college, the Cao couple did overly interfere with her, and they forcibly deprived her of her life choices in order to keep her only daughter around, which did hurt her.
But later, they still chose to let go, not only agreed to let her go abroad, but also carried a huge debt to support her to pursue her ideals, which shows their good intentions.
The most lamentable thing is that after going abroad, there was a misalignment of communication between Cao Qian and her parents, resulting in greater misunderstanding.
It can be said that the emotional communication between the Cao couple and their daughter is obviously flawed, and they are not good at expressing their demands correctly.
The Cao couple longed for the warmth of the little cotton jacket, and wanted her to understand and be considerate of her parents' hard work, but when they spoke, they turned into rough and harsh accusations.
Cao Qian needs the financial support of her parents, but she does not say anything about her dilemma abroad, but only expresses her demands with a cold sentence of "I want money", and it is no wonder that her parents are cold.
If Cao Qian can make her parents understand her situation, how can the second elder who has always been willing to pay for her not be distressed and not support her?
The result of this improper communication method is that cao qian and her parents have not been able to achieve their own demands, and both sides are very aggrieved.
But even so, Cao Qian cut off this flesh-and-blood family relationship with a knife, which is undoubtedly filial piety, after all, the Cao couple has already given everything for her and raised her with hard work.
I'm afraid that even if she has many achievements in her career, when she dreams back in the middle of the night, she can't help but toss and turn for her own cruel heart.
-END-
Author: Wen Shiyue
EDIT: Willow Leaf Nagging
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