Text/little pillow mom
There's a line in "Walk with Me": "I never made as good friends as the gang when I was twelve, maybe everyone is like this, right?" ”
Every child who grows up misses his childhood playmate.
Released in 1995, Crocodile Shoes tells the story of the innocent friendship between two little boys. A peaceful town moved in with a special family--- the Dester family. 11-year-old Durst accidentally contracted AIDS during a blood transfusion and was ostracized by everyone after moving to a small town with his mother. Even Eric's mother fenced off her new neighbors. But the two children crossed the fence that cut them off and became good friends.
This film has won the Children's Film Festival Most Popular Film Award and the Best Child Star Performance Award, douban score of 9.1 points, the story has no exaggerated content, no wonderful stunts, just with ordinary small stories, warm the hearts of every audience. Everyone's feelings when they watch movies are different, and I will mainly talk about the heart of AIDS patients, the friendship between children, the exploration of death, and the education of children by single mothers.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" >, I still long to be understood, even though I have AIDS</h1>
Chen Dong et al.'s "Prediction of the Development Trend of the AIDS Epidemic in China and Analysis of Prevention and Control Measures" wrote:
"AIDS is a communicable disease that causes severe damage to the body's immune system caused by the invasion of the human immunodeficiency virus."
The age of 11 was supposed to be the age to go to school, but in order to avoid the white eyes of school classmates and the verbal violence of neighbors, Destin was like a bird in a cage, and had to stay at home.
The little boy Destin's greatest pleasure is playing with his mother at home, or playing in the mud alone in his backyard when his mother is busy.
As an AIDS patient, the little boy Destin is lonely and miserable inside. AIDS-related psychological pain is not yet clearly defined, because AIDS is also known as "super cancer", long course, high case fatality rate, heavy burden of disease and the current lack of specific treatment methods, etc., and cancer has many similarities, so the concept of psychological pain associated with PLVHA refers to the concept of psychological pain designated by the National Comprehensive Cancer Network of the United States "Psychological pain refers to the emotional experience caused by a variety of reasons, can be manifested as fragility, sadness, fear and other emotional reactions, serious may have depression, anxiety, terror, etc., There is a serious mental crisis. ”
AIDS patients are sensitive in their hearts. I have a grudge against strangers and don't want to communicate too much. But their hearts still long to be understood and accepted. When Eric said outside the fence, "I'm going to rush over and hit you." ”
Then Destin asked, "Then how long are you going to fight?" ”
When the average child hears someone say that they are going to beat themselves up, their first reaction is to fight back. But Destin weakly asked how long it would take. It can be seen how lonely his heart is, how eager he is to be understood by others. Even if someone can rush over and beat himself, he will not hesitate.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" > second, the fence isolates the world, but it does not isolate the friendship between children</h1>
Aristotle in "Friendship is the Cornerstone of a Rich Life" once pointed out:
"A complete friendship means that both individuals share the same mind. Complete friends are not together for the common good or for common pleasure. They may really be very helpful to each other and enjoy each other's company, but these are not the only origins and foundations that make up their friendship. These are just positive added values derived from the common concerns and values of friends. ”
Although the white fence cuts off Destin and Eric's family, Eric stumbles upon a little boy Destin who is coughing behind the fence. He didn't know what AIDS was, he only knew that behind the fence was a lonely little boy like him. So he climbed over the fence, and the two little boys played with the naval flag together and made a home for the frog. Eric used the candy treatment method and the grass juice treatment method to treat Destin, but the result was that Destiny accidentally ate grass juice and caused a serious illness...
Although Destin suffers from AIDS, his kindness and simplicity still win Eric's friendship. Friendship knows no borders, no age, no disease.
Helen in Charlotte Brontë's Jane Eyre says:
"Even if people all over the world hate you and believe that you are bad, as long as you have a clear conscience, you will not be without friends." 」
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > three, a small "farce", just to hide the anxiety about death</h1>
AIDS patients need to seek medical attention at any time if they become unwell. On the way to Eric's treatment with Durst, Durst cut his hand to save Eric and scare the people who want to bully them. Eventually Dester lost too much blood and had to be hospitalized. While in the hospital, Destin pretended to be dead many times, asked Eric to go to the doctor, and staged a small "farce" again and again.
In fact, although this small "farce" is very relaxed, it is difficult to hide the child's fear and anxiety about death. Death anxiety refers to an emotional state with fear or fear that arises when the inevitability of death is reminded of the individual's innermost threat of death.
Just as D'Este and Eric were thrown to the island for the night, muttering a lot of sweat at night, Eric woke him up and asked, "What's wrong with you?" "I often do this, and when I wake up, I find myself in the darkness in front of me, as if I'm no longer in this world...". Eric saw his friend crying, took out his shoes and said, "When you sleep tightly clutching my shoes, when you wake up scared, you think about why you grabbed my stinky and dirty shoes, I must still be on Earth, and Eric must be next to me." ”
This passage shows that Dester is often in this kind of death anxiety, and he often feels that he is dead, which makes him feel lonely and afraid inside. For AIDS patients, they not only suffer from the stigma of AIDS from all walks of life, but also suffer from the anxiety of death from their own hearts. For AIDS stigma injuries, they can adapt to stressful environments by changing the environment.
In the face of inner death anxiety, AIDS patients need to undergo post-traumatic growth. "The concept of post-traumatic growth was first formally introduced and used by Tedeschi and Calhoun in 1996." The post-traumatic growth scale should include 5 dimensions, namely: "increasing personal strength, closer relationships with those around them, the possibility of discovering new ways of life, more appreciation for life, and spiritual changes."
Mane et al. (2004) study argues that patients' post-traumatic growth is significantly associated with cognitive and emotional factors about the disease from important others, such as their partners; Lev-Wiesel and Amir (2003) study argues that even support from friends can help patients grow up after traumatics.
This shows that AIDS patients need the support of relatives and friends to grow up after trauma. The support and encouragement of relatives and friends to AIDS patients can help AIDS patients grow up after trauma. Helps them rebuild their hearts and see life with a positive, positive mindset.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > four, the same single mother, the way to treat children is different</h1>
The family is the harbor of the soul, and it can provide us with a sense of belonging and security. Maternal love can make you feel comforted in pain, joy in loneliness, hope in disappointment, happiness in snub.
Eric's parents divorced, and he followed his mother. Mom drank heavily all day and often didn't go home at night. Mom's education of Eric was also simple and rude. His mother's indifference, coupled with the divorce of his parents, has caused Eric to have a strange personality, has no friends, always likes to play pranks at school, and likes to use a knife to scratch around the desk. The bear children in the same community always like to tease him. The knife became Eric's only friend.
Destin's parents also divorced, and he followed his mother. But her mother loved Destin very much and played with Destin whenever she had time. When Destin brought her friend Eric to dinner, Destin's mother was very enthusiastic, not only preparing a hearty and delicious meal, but also dessert ice cream after the meal. In this moment, Eric felt the warmth of his long-lost home. Destin's mother took care of Destin so meticulously that she even called him "Little Sweetheart." Even though he knew he wouldn't live long, Destin still behaved lively and cute in front of his mother. This is a manifestation of Durst's love for his mother. The child is a copy of the parent, the parent loves the child, the child will naturally love the parent. Correct family education is the guiding light on the road of children's growth.
Durst's mother kissed Eric and warmed Eric's heart. At that moment, Eric felt the warmth of his long-lost home.
It can be seen that the rebellion of adolescent children is actually only because of the lack of love and warmth in their hearts. Parents' love for their children can help them smoothly through rebellious adolescence.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > written at the end</h1>
Angels are on earth, and some people take you through long rivers and through the vast sky, and they are no longer a dim lone star. The speeding shopping cart of childhood, the bitter grass leaf soup, the kayaking on the Mississippi River, the fear of the universe in dreams, the courage of one shoe, I believe that there is always a detail in "Crocodile Wave Shoes To the End of the World" that will hit your soft heart when you are lonely. AIDS children also long for a simple life, eager to have a pure friendship, care for AIDS children, start from the bits and pieces of life, and never discriminate against them. May every child live under the blue sky.
Reference: Chen Chaoran, "Stigma Response and Post-traumatic Growth of AIDS Orphans in Adolescence"
(Images from the internet, such as infringement contact author removal)