In the name of a friend

How can we not know each other "the same"

Detective Priest 1

Original

2021-12-30 10:47

Visit the priest

December 24 at 10:37 AM

Full of absurd words, a handful of bitter tears.

All the authors are stupid, who understands the taste?

In the name of friends

A poem by Liu Zhe's "In the Name of a Friend" deeply touched me many times, and I couldn't help but recall that dusty story and make up my mind to record it.

We were junior high school classmates, because of some special reasons, at that time, we were all living in the school, it can be said that we got along day and night, twelve, three or four years old, the love sinus was just beginning. But I'm talking about someone else, and as for me, I'm not mature yet?! I don't understand men and women. In fact, I don't understand what I can't say, I can't say, and I can't say it clearly. Anyway, those three years of experience made me unforgettable, those male and female classmates in my heart as classmates, crushes, brothers and sisters recognized each other.

In the third grade, we had a tyrannical, crazy, middle-aged female Chinese teacher with menopausal syndrome, and the classmates all trembled and carefully lived in her bottomless white reign of terror. I don't know why it angered her that time, as if it was in my language composition that I exaggerated the deeds of another classmate who stubbornly struggled with language homework, and we should learn from him... Let's go! The teacher was furious and irrational, tearing all my language review papers to shreds in class. In the days near the middle school entrance examination for a month, I did not have the revision materials, I was at a loss, even desperate... I don't know what to do? In the depths of despair, a voice of help came over me: a holy woman was willing to help me borrow from another classmate who had just relegated to review the exam paper. Oh my God, I can't forget your "saving grace" for the rest of my life. Of course, this saint is the heroine of my article, her name is Cheng Xiaoxia.

The first thing that impressed me was the pursuit of the Navy. Xie Haijun is a big fat man, one level lower than us, when he was a child, his family and Cheng Xiaoxia's family were neighbors, and the parents once made a joke that they wanted to marry a family. Not long after the start of our second year of junior high school, that is, when Xie Haijun had just entered our junior high school. As soon as this Xie Haijun entered our junior high school, he boasted that Cheng Xiaoxia was his horse (our local dialect, the meaning of his wife), and several times he dared to go to the door of the senior classroom to boast. This may have deeply hurt the dignity of Cheng Xiaoxia, who repeatedly warned Xie Navy; after the warning was ineffective, he decided to return fire. When Xie Haijun was bragging on the campus again, she was bumped into by Cheng Xiaoxia, and she immediately rushed forward to denounce Xie Navy, and Xie Haijun was stubborn, and she did not repent. Cheng Xiaoxia fought with Xie Haijun, Xie Haijun dodged in the campus, and Cheng Xiaoxia chased after him and circled around the campus several times. Xie Haijun finally hid in his own classroom, and Cheng Xiaoxia did not spare it lightly, and chased it all the way to their classroom. In a corner of the classroom, blocked by Cheng Xiaoxia, Xie Haijun had nowhere to hide, nowhere to escape. Cheng Xiaoxia went up and struck a hard blow; Xie Navy felt very sorry for it, and repeatedly spared it. In the end, after Xie Haijun swore to repent after the curse, Cheng Xiaoxia let him go. Cheng Xiaoxia returned to the court in victory, showing his dignity and will that could not be offended. This is not a small hero, but a big hero, and the style of the female hero is famous. I and other spectators also applauded her behavior and impressed by her spirit.

In the three years of junior high school, there was a mischievous male classmate with a strong desire to lead and rule in the class, called Xie Shu review, in the class, grade, or can also be said to be the small circle of boarding students in the first grade school, to match her with him, and I was a pair with another lovely but distant goddess. To tell the truth, I envied, I hated, I protested; but at the time I did not say anything, yes, I accepted the arrangement.

Secondary schools, middle schools......... Quietly passed, leaving a small secret; pressing the bottom of the heart, pressing the bottom of the heart can not forget you. Can't forget you, write you in the diary; can't forget you, the heart is still thinking of you: the age of the mess, and a mess of you!

After graduating from junior high school, although most of my classmates were still in this middle school and high school, they had already gone their separate ways psychologically. But over the years, whining and mourning, I still live in that memory and can't extricate myself.

At the high school level, everyone has worked hard in their studies and lives, explored hard, tried to break through the layers of fog, and made their lives suddenly bright. Some students are talented, carp jumped the dragon gate early, was admitted to the university first, and had an explanation for their parents and the small circle at that time; some students still persevered and continued to explore. The road is long and the road is long, and I will seek it up and down. Finally, there is a way out and direction for life.

When I was in high school, I unconsciously became interested in international politics. In 1992, the world's largest power --- the U.S. election, which resulted in the election of the handsome Bill Clinton as president of the United States of America; and then I got to know Hillary and Mrs. Clinton, the golden child of politics, and since then, they have become my idols. In high school, my classmates were crazy to chase stars, and some Hong Kong and Taiwan stars became superstars in their hearts; and the superstars in my heart were Clinton and Hillary Clinton. So I'm going to find a female partner to form my CP-my combination. For some reason, I put Cheng Xiaoxia and I on the CP.

Throughout high school, due to my shyness and her shyness, we weren't able to say a few words well, and some of my virtual and real sets were almost over.

After I went to college, I thought I had some kind of superiority and could lean over, but I actually got along with her flat. Yes, I admit that in the past process of getting along, I had an inferiority complex. Several times in the junior high school stage, when the nature of the students' hukou was counted (that is, asking the students whether they were rural or urban hukou?). When asked who was the urban hukou in the class, she stood up and turned her head to look around the class: Ah, she is a town hukou, we are all rural hukou; if there is no future change, she will be a city person who eats commodity grain, and we are just mud-legged peasants; she has a sense of superiority, and we have a sense of oppression.

After I went to college, I thought I had some kind of superiority and could lean over, but I actually got along with her flat. I slowly approached her in the name of a friend, just to get closer to her, but I didn't have the courage to say I loved her, and let it become a secret again and again. The main action is to write letters, talk about some situations in study and life, and then send books to encourage her to know herself correctly, and then continue to work hard!

At that time, I studied Lu Yao's novel "Ordinary World" and was very touched, so I mailed a set of "Ordinary World" to her, and I was very touched by my own behavior. Yes, I have often tried to move the outside world in the way I have touched myself, but there is no egg.

To be honest, there is another purpose and meaning for her to read "Ordinary World" together, I think the love story of Tian Xiaoxia and Sun Shaoping in the novel is very touching, and we need to emulate it together. Of course, the female reporter Tian Xiaoxia in the novel died in the line of duty, which is an ominous metaphor; and I can completely compare myself to Sun Shaoping, because Sun Shaoping finally had a scar on his face due to the mining accident, and I also had a scar on my face. It's all a mess.

By the next year's college entrance examination season, she was also admitted to Soochow University, a university that is still considered a prestigious brand; no, this is not the point, the point is that Xie Shushu also studied at that university, and they could finally fly together. The students all blessed them, and I could only wish them that they had lovers and eventually became dependents. I gave them a congratulatory letter: Xie Shushu is a handsome man, comparable to Jia Baoyu in "Dream of the Red Chamber", and she is a beautiful woman, comparable to Xue Baochao, they are "golden jade good luck". As for me, I am just the "board" of the poor relatives in the remote village. And she denied that she was a beautiful woman, and for me to compare her to Xue Baochao, I thought it was not good: saying that Xue Baochao was sophisticated, and there was no Lin Daiyu who was simple, simple, and cute. In fact, I don't think she really resents that metaphor, maybe she's still proud?!

Here's the story of Clinton and Hillary Clinton after winning the presidency: One year, when Hillary and Clinton were driving past a gas station, Hillary suddenly found that the workers at the gas station were very familiar, and he said to Clinton, he was my first love. Clinton jokingly said to her, if you don't marry me, maybe your husband will be a gas station worker. But Hillary said to him, no, if he marries me, the president will not be you, but him; as for you, you may be the little gas worker at that gas station. This story often shocks me: many years later, the two of them are at the top of the scenery, and I can only cheer for them on the side of the road, and I don't want to be the "cheerer".

Years later I think my life's depravity began at that moment. The ideal life began to collapse, and it ran wild on the path of mediocre life. This excuse made me find it so well, I wanted to celebrate it myself, and I finally had an account for my life. It's all fucking arranged by Heaven, Heaven's fault, what does it have to do with me! Oh cheers---- cheers---- Ulla------

After she was admitted to college, after writing to me in her hometown to inform me about her admission, she was no longer heard, and Xie Shushu told me in an exchange: She was embarrassed to contact me. Is this a hint to me to let go? Didn't I say that?! Bless you, what else? Greeting each other on New Year's Day next year to wish each other a new year,(how is it done?) Write to xie book reviews and ask him to relay it. You can do it if you want to. The book review is true and sincere, and I am ashamed of it. I expressed: I am particularly happy to receive your special blessings on a special day, and I have special words to say to you. But nothing was said, so be it!

In the previous exchanges with Xie Shushu, he told me that there had been correspondence between them, so I had a psychological expectation of this result between the three of us, and it was not particularly lost. I patted the dust on my body, lifted my tired spirits, and knew that the distance was full of bumps and was destined to walk alone.

When I visited his house during the Spring Festival that year, she told me that her first wish for university volunteering was Soochow University, and then Shaanxi Normal University, and I was slightly relieved. Because I studied in Xi'an. Years later, I guessed that she was a two-headed bet, what a trick Girl!

From the Spring Festival in 1997 to the Spring Festival in 2002, there were six years of spring festival holidays, I went to visit her home, which can also be said to be a New Year's greeting. Anyway, after I returned to my hometown during the winter vacation or the Spring Festival holiday after work in those years, I called her home, and she invited me to her house, and I involuntarily went to her house. It wasn't until I had my fiancée that I didn't visit her house. Every time she drank with her father, she drank too much and threw up. I was young at the time and didn't know how to refuse. Even many years later, she teased me if I wanted to drink at the old man's house!? Our hometown has the custom of new and old sons-in-law going to their in-laws' homes during the Spring Festival to pay respects to the New Year.

Unlike the feeling of going to her house to drink for the New Year, many years later I went to my own parents-in-law's house to drink and felt warm: the first time I went to the old man, I was drunk and vomited, and the old man praised me for my sincerity, and in her house it may be a negative evaluation (my private speculation: this young man can't control himself, and there will be no future success). Since then, I have made up my mind and cherished my current married life. Years later, I also regretted going to her house to drink frequently, and at that time, I couldn't help but act casually. "Late at night, I dream of juvenile affairs, and I dream of tears and tears."

Years are growing, after graduating from college, the cities where I work are on one side, and everyone has no vision and energy to go together, nor commitment, and the sinking and disappointment that life has given me. Of course, there are also the complaints and disappointments in my heart: I have known her for fifteen years and have never taken the initiative to care about my study, work and life status. All right. You're on the Gold Coast, I'm on the other side of the smoke. May you and I look back at that moment and comfort each other about the situation. Fate flutters with the wind, and fate is also watched for this life. The last time we saw each other was in her city after I got married, and I explained each other's living conditions. She used her teacher's work thinking habit tone to encourage me to do a line of love and be a strong person in the field of work. I thanked her, but I couldn't. Know that goodbye is hopeless when shaking hands with each other and saying goodbye. Maybe we'll never see each other again in this life.

Well, since we will never see each other again in this life, let's see each other in the next life! Seek and seek, disappear in silence. There are always no memories to be found, no truths that have been forgotten. The past of a lifetime, you abandoned little by little. Pain, pain, grief, hatred, loss of you, maybe it is not easy to separate, maybe love and affection can't; pain, pain, grief, hatred and loss of yourself. The deep love is not easy, you and I also know to cherish. I had to wait until the next life to embark on the beginning of each other's stories.

To be honest, the most intolerable part of her conversation is that she always wants to introduce me to a girlfriend. Once, I talked about a female classmate in the same class, is it called Chen Meihua? Said some interesting details about my relationship with her, that's all. She said that if I liked this girl, she would introduce me to this girl, and this girl could chase ---- yunyun. In fact, it is just inadvertent small talk, and there is no other meaning. I'm a little embarrassed, and I don't dare to talk about this kind of content next time. After probably graduating from college, I was already working, and in a conversation, the topic somehow touched on Wang Lili and Wang Beibei, two twin sisters, and she asked me who I was interested in? She introduced me to whom. I didn't say it in my mouth, I thought to myself, I am interested in you, why don't you introduce you to me. As if I had deliberately played a trick at the time, I said can I introduce the twin sisters to me? I want it all. It caused her to laugh, and she told it to her parents as a joke. I thought to myself: Who is it? Think I can't find a girlfriend? Don't you know that you have so many female friends in real life? It's just "good to like you" --------

I don't know when I started, when I dreamed of her: she was always denying me, not seeing a single affirmation of me. As for the negative content, I can't remember it clearly, or I can't recall it when I wake up. And in the dream, when I worked hard to find her home, I was told that her family had moved; was her family afraid to move in order not to be entangled with me, but in real life I did not pestered her, but the "heart demon" in my heart has been entangled. Yes, I remember that at the end of 2001, when I traveled to Sanya, Hainan, I also obscenely asked for a signature for the marriage between the two of us at a scenic spot in the "end of the world"! This is in stark contrast to the sentence "In the dream, there is still praise" in Su Shi's "Jiang Chengzi" copied in another article that recalls a certain cloud.

In the Spring Festival of 1998, our junior high school classmates gathered at the Xie Book Critics, which was organized by the Xie Book Review (this proves that only the Xie Book Critics in the junior high school students have the desire and quality of leadership). I was impressed by this gathering, it should be my level of understanding of the end of the gathering of a few good friends in junior high school. The first important person is X Jianzhen, who returned home from Shenzhen (she was also an important pen pal of mine from junior high school until college graduation). The rest of the male students are Ran Xiaohua, Ran Xiaojian, Xie Renbing, and me, and one of them is Wang Qiang (although not a junior high school classmate, but the high school stage should be very good with Xie Shu Review, which is a very popular figure in our high school stage). Cao Hui did not receive an invitation, this guy is very cold, we are in the middle school era of the bully, do not fit in; later admitted to the university is the University of Electronic Science and Technology of China in Chengdu, Sichuan Province, after graduating from college, the legend is that he gave up the opportunity to work in a scientific research institute in Beijing, and died in an accident in 2001 that we do not know the details. Female classmates include her (maybe she had already broken up with Xie Shu Review at that time), Huang Xiaojun (my goddess in junior high school, you at the same table, sorry I always wrote her name wrong, wrote huang Xiaoxiang, and later it was a deliberate prank, and has not been heard from for many years), Yu Yalin (now living in Qingdao, is an English teacher), Wang Lili and Wang Beibei twin sisters.

As for the content of the party, it is nothing more than eating and drinking, playing cards and chatting. Finally, it was also taken. The group photo may only be a book review by one person, and we have not received it. It's been 24 years, and I still look back on it like yesterday.

The picture of holding hands is always in the dream, and the attachment can only stay in the bottom of the heart. After many years, I would like to send the following words to my classmates and friends: people float in the sea, but tossing and turning is a dream; the sea has become a mulberry field, and the infatuation meets the cold wind. No matter how much helplessness and no amount of grievance, we must continue to love in this way.

It will be brewed in 2010 and completed in December 2021.