【Poetry Collection Review】
Sit in Chunqing Park in the third year of the first year
Sit on the garden pavilion with your legs crossed and watch the plum branches cross.
Mo Yannian has a weak taste, and leisure is the most suitable.
Ying Zi commented: The poet sat in the park pavilion to watch the plum blossoms and said the feeling of "Mo Yan Nian taste is light, leisure is the most suitable", indicating that leisurely life is not diluted with the taste of the Year, why is this leisure not the most beautiful Taste of the Year? Thus indirectly expressing the love for the park scenery, satisfaction and comfort of life. The whole poem is smooth and natural, not sculpted, only to feel that the "crossed legs" language is too real and elegant.
Cold waves
The shooting surface is like an arrow, and the snow is like sand.
Therefore, the plum tree is respected, and the bitter cold is more flowered.
Yang Xue window comments: The first two sentences are full of strength, and the harshness of the environment is the foreshadowing of the last two sentences, which more and more sets off the tenacity of plum blossoms. Although the poem is short, the language is cut off, and the sentences are thin and powerful. However, the second sentence, "Smashing the head like snow like sand", slightly too heavy, and slightly lost in thickness.
Wake up in the morning and hear the birds singing
The gentle voice is crisp and the chirping is long.
The morning light exhaled and peeked out of my half-open window.
Zhang Zhishen's comments: fresh and flavorful. "Peeping" and "half-open" match, immediately see the charm. It's just that the word "huh" is slightly contrived, and it is more natural to change it to "come":
A wisp of morning light came and peeped at me half-opened the window.
Gangnam spring early
It was still a light cold February day, and the Tian family was competing for the first place in agricultural affairs.
The bed is flat and soft so that the bud tips can be fielded early.
Zhang Qinghui commented: The first two sentences are written in general, which can be seen as a background, and the last two sentences fall at one point, why is it not a close-up? Through the word "good to let", it can be seen that a farmer sits on the stem of his own field and smokes leaf cigarettes after his work, and his heart is solid and determined.
Self-titled "Spring Mountain Smoke and Rain Map"
Faint hills and hidden bridges, cloud mountain smoke trees covered with light embroidery.
The old man used to watch the rain in Jiangnan, and he was scattered on the clouds.
Wang Hailiang commented: The ink marks are faint, the rain is heavy, but the self-title is wonderful. The first two sentences are lightly swept away, and the last two sentences are arrogant and dry.
Tosako Nzui
The ink splashed in the clouds, and the pen made a wild snake dance. Vertical smearing is self-delusional, and there is no former sage spectrum.
He is a bald man, and his heart is in the middle of a naughty boy. Heaven and earth travel alone, and when they want to, people will allow it.
Zhang Qingkai commented: Books are not written by the spectrum, the line does not follow the group, only with the children, do not want people to allow. The upper real is lower and the lower is virtual, and the sentence is "loose".
See the roadside waist cut off and grow new branches
Born to love the sun, the building is ten feet high.
The waist was stabbed, and the branches and leaves grew wildly.
Lei Haiji commented: Shanglian intends to create a majestic image of the sycamore tree, preparing for the lyricism of the back. Then, to give an example, it is proved that being stopped by a knife not only did not yield, but the branches and leaves grew faster and more luxuriantly. Classic artistic approach.
Cross Xuanwu Lake
Lan Zhou gently swung the water and clouds in the sky, and occasionally stopped at the famous lake.
Miss the red lotus three hundred acres, make up for the green willow a dike wind.
Yang Xinyue commented: There is a philosophy in the transfer. Life is like this: there are misses and there are the most beautiful encounters.
Gurudwara Huatai Martyrs' Mausoleum
The Pine Guardian Monument is green and new, and the two righteous qi look up to Kunlun.
The head is more or less willing to throw lightly, for there is a true doctrine of the heart.
Chu Baozeng commented: When the head will be thrown, it is a helpless choice, generous and tragic but not losing, "throwing" in front of the word "light", destroying the atmosphere of the whole poem, it is better to neutrally deal with "how much the head is thrown".
Night in the Old Garden
The wanderer returns with new white hair, and the mud tiles of the earthen wall are still true.
In the middle of the night, I carefully discerned the month before the bed, or the round of childhood.
Zhang Qinghui commented: The scene of returning home for many years does not speak bluntly, but is expressed by imagery and details, and the imagery and details are very typical, so it is very touching. It is especially good to turn the knot, and friends who still have old houses in remote rural areas should be more attentive.
Title Yang Shuo painted mountains and nine horses
The tiankai pictures fell into the dust, and the number of tourists was not true.
Eight horses why one more horse, Sai Weng Fu and Mu Wang divided.
Xiao Sanyang commented: This poem is light and interesting. The first two sentences say that the pictures of Tiankai are not true, vivid and practical. The last two sentences are reversed to the image of the outside world, and the nine horses lead out the Eight Horses of Mu Wang and the Sai Ong who lost his horse. Although the imagination is peculiar, it has no sense of violation.
Spring rain slender West Lake
Fang Fanbo was fascinated, empty but felt strange in the rain.
Dongjun also regretted that the West Lake was thin, and it was a small fattening overnight.
Shen Libin commented: The first sentence of "eye desire is fascinated", because it is a "empty" edge, the scenery of the second edge is charming, and the second sentence is adapted to the Su Shi sentence in a natural way. The name of the three sentences of "Slender West Lake" is very coincidental, and the love of "Dongjun" is borrowed to point out the theme of "Spring Rain". The perspective and sentiment of this poem can be speculated, and the poet's poem should be so.
With a rapist
After returning from the feast, he walked like smoke, and the joy of sugar was held high to show his grandson.
Bite open not to forget the mouth of the grandfather, a sweet turn over two teenagers.
Jiang Heyou commented: Vivid and compelling, a school of innocence, happy in it.
Seeking the old
At that time, Ginkgo biloba recognized the new knowledge, and it was heavy enough to disappear without a trace.
Under the tree, there was a strange woman, who was dressed in red in the gray and blue era.
Chen Rende commented: There is a Tang Dynasty "Title Capital City Nanzhuang" rhyme and has a new meaning. Writing about the wonder of the woman of that year, without saying anything else, only saying "the only red dress in the gray and blue era", there is not much ink, and its vivid image has jumped on the paper, leaving a huge suspense for the reader to imagine, but the opening sentence is slightly weaker.
Zhang Qinghui commented: The color comparison is clear, and the last sentence is bright: the woman in red in the gray and blue era, I think it should be the end of the seventies before and after the change, right? It is indeed a strange woman, and the story of the era is reverie. The three words of "recognizing new knowledge" are slightly confused and can be considered.
Watching chess has a feeling
The platoon of troops was tiger tent male, and the smoke was everywhere drumming.
It is necessary to know that the world is the same chess game, only in the attack and defense of the advance and retreat.
Chen Tingyou commented: The title is "Watching Chess", but there is no word to say about the chess that is observed. Was it intentional, or was it deliberately lost? Convoluted.
Jinfeng comments: Life is like a chess game, and the chess game is also life. Turning the knot reveals the truth. Write a chess game with a sentence, few words, difficult to draw, can only grasp the theme, if you use the law poem or arrangement is better.
Yang Xinyue commented: The wing is exquisite, but the intention is slightly old-fashioned.
Self-conditioning
Borrow a corner of the city to idle, cover the door and go to the deep mountain.
Lanfa is fragrant and green sleeves, and the ink is poured on the face.
The exhibition paper is issued every time because of Jia Xing, knocking on the poem to stay and appreciate the sound to see.
In his lifetime, he did not escape Zen intentions, but he was like a cold monk who closed himself.
Yang Xinyue commented: The first link is to see the high sentiment and ease, the second link of the poem book is pleasant, and the elegance is full of paper. The tail link is bound to the law, implying that "the bench must sit cold for ten years".
Parrots
Locked to the golden cage is also pitiful, and the shampoo is always green and warm.
Even if you can speak like a human language, how can the yellow warbler snort.
Lonely Mountain Plum Rain Commentary: The poet accurately portrays the survival situation and career characteristics of parrots. The allegory behind the poem is a matter of opinion. The golden-caged parrot learns its tongue either as a natural instinct, or as a metaphor for the wisdom of its owner, or it can be a metaphor for the compulsion of circumstances. The closing sentence points out the key that the parrot is not as good as the yellow warbler, but the description is implicit: "Even if you can skillfully tongue like a human language, how can the yellow warbler snort".
Jiang Changdian painter and cultural worker. The rest is poetry, and I enjoy it. And now listening to the rain downstairs, the sideburns have been cang also. The decay continues to be carved. Urgently wait for the famous blue eyes to blow the spring breeze.
Editor's Note:
If Xiao Lou's poets have time and interest, as long as your works have been selected and published by Xiao Lou's guests, there are more than five poems, please gather them to us. At the same time, I also implore you to write down your own story with Xiao Lou, point out the shortcomings of Xiao Lou, and put forward your suggestions so that the platform of "Xiao Lou Listening to Rain Poems" can grow better.
Thank you again for your support of Xiao Lou!
Xiao Lou listens to the rain poetry journal
Published: January 2, 2022
Editor/Zhang Xuefang Review/Xiaolou Listening to the Rain Proofreading/Feng Xiao
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Revisit Gaizhu Mountain
Zhang Xuefang (Zhejiang)
The mountain cover is green bamboo, and the wind depicts ink drawings.
Alone with the drizzle, stepping on the pain and falling flowers.
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