Interpretation of emotional topics, taking you into more positive emotional worlds! I am your emotional relief, but you have to know how to let yourself go!
Text | The wind stops at night
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If you have experienced betrayal, or are experiencing betrayal, and still want to continue the relationship, then please be patient to read, absorb and understand this article peacefully! Because, in this way, it will help you how to get salvation next!
Although the betrayer made a mistake, regardless of the reason, he finally chose to return from the heart. And those who have experienced betrayal have also chosen to forgive. However, the life between two people, there are countless miserable people, why?
Some people who have experienced betrayal, in the face of a person who has betrayed themselves, really cannot forgive from the heart, but for various reasons there is no other choice but to forgive.
Before that, I had warned people who experienced betrayal more than once: you only repair relationships, never feelings!
The reason why I say this is because many people who have experienced betrayal always mix love and unlove when the relationship is repaired, so they make both people very tired!
Why did the betrayer return? After weighing the pros and cons, I felt that the original match was more "good", so I returned!
In the face of such a reality, then, the original focus should not be on who the betrayer loves, who has loved, and whether he loves himself; but on the reality that he must continue to have a relationship.
Relationships are repaired and have nothing to do with feelings!
If you have to make love with a betrayer, it's rude! A person who is willing to sincerely talk to you about love will not easily do something that betrays you.
Therefore, most people who choose to forgive are only because they have not distinguished between love and love, and what is repaired at the moment is only the fact of the relationship!
After experiencing betrayal, after choosing to forgive, why is it that only a small number of people are diluted by time, while the pain of the vast majority of people is not only not reduced but deepened?
Because too many people who have experienced betrayal are too entangled in love, too focused on inner imbalance, and ignore each other's relationship repair because of their respective "values", so they are increasingly magnifying their own meaningless pain for the current relationship.
Therefore, there are many marriages and loves that have experienced betrayal, and it is clear that the two people have reached a consensus on the continuation of the relationship, and finally they are scattered.
A healthy marital relationship requires two people to operate with equal strength in order to make the relationship more balanced and lasting. A marital relationship that has experienced betrayal is a sick relationship, so don't be too harsh on equal mutual management.
In the early days of relationship repair, the person who experiences betrayal chooses to forgive, which means choosing to accept flawed betrayers and unhealthy marital relationships. Even if there is still pain inside, the pain must be ignored in order to repair the relationship well!
In this relationship where the value continues, the person who has experienced betrayal probably needs to pay more in order to gradually put the relationship on the right track, and finally achieve the relative harmony after the marriage relationship moves towards recovery.
That is to say, after forgiving the betrayer, if you want the relationship to continue harmoniously, you must put aside the hurt you have suffered in the past and use "skills" to take the lead in "management".
So, after the betrayer chooses to forgive, what can be done to help the relationship repair?
After forgiving the betrayer, do the 4 words of "reasonable communication", which is very useful for relationship repair. Here's why:
First: Stop thinking about who is right and who is wrong
Many people who have experienced betrayal can easily stand at the height of a betrayed person who needs to kneel as a sinner to atone for his sins after the betrayer chooses to return, and always ask the betrayer to "wear the sin and make merit" when the relationship continues.
The actual psychology of the betrayer is that he is very reluctant to bring his past out to be accused and insulted by whom at all times.
For the betrayer, he only hopes that after he chooses to return, the person in front of him can try not to be emotionally uncontrollable like a wronged ghost, nor like a judge who has a slight emotion and is full of "knives".
Yes, after experiencing betrayal, it is difficult for anyone to let go of resentment and hatred, but so what? If you choose to forgive, you have to make the appearance of forgiveness. Otherwise, the relationship of mutual torture, it is better to let go, isn't it?
Therefore, after the relationship is repaired, the person who experiences betrayal should soberly know that what is the purpose of wanting this person who betrayed him and wanting this marital relationship that has experienced betrayal?
After the relationship is repaired, the person experiencing betrayal must manage his emotions and not explode with resentment and hatred beyond self-control.
In order for the relationship and the betrayer to coexist as peacefully as possible, it is necessary to convey one's heart with reasonable behavior and language, rather than using emotions and words to make the betrayer regret returning to increase the chance of betrayal again.
The past is already in the past, and what should be done is to guard the present and not let such a bad past happen again in the present, which is the most important thing for people who have experienced betrayal.
Second: learn to express normal demands
It is true that betrayal is wrong and morally deficient, but many people who have experienced betrayal in their marital relationships and experience betrayal also have inescapable responsibilities!
Even if the betrayer is of bad character, the person who experiences the betrayal also provides a convenient door for him! Otherwise, the chances of experiencing betrayal are greatly reduced.
Some people are too egotistical and strong in marriage and love, or treat the other half too much as an outsider, or deny the other half... At this time, in addition to marriage and love, if someone can give him comfort, warmth, understanding, and betrayal, it will "take it right".
Of all the betrayers, some of them push the blame to the people in front of them in order to find a reasonable excuse for their betrayal;
Part of it is really that they feel that they have not felt valued, loved, and recognized in a deeply hurt marriage, so they will betray it. Although he knows that such behavior is immoral, he does not feel that it is his fault!
Leaving aside those strong and reasonable betrayers, only those who betrayed the marriage relationship because of "grievances", why do people who experience betrayal obviously want to live the current marriage relationship well, but in the end they fail to do as they wish but encounter no betrayal?
It is because people who have experienced betrayal never know how to express their demands! In the right way you think it is, whether it is a suppressive guide or a negative incentive in language, these are not what a healthy relationship should be!
Therefore, when experiencing betrayal, we must reflect on ourselves, after the return of the betrayer, we must gradually change the way we used to get along, learn to express demands and feelings normally, give respect to each other, and play a necessary positive role in repairing the marital relationship!
People who have experienced betrayal, in addition to paying attention to communication and managing emotions, must always tell themselves: What is the purpose of my choice to forgive?
When a person who has experienced betrayal understands that his motivation to repair the relationship comes from the relationship itself, he will definitely manage his emotions and communicate reasonably.
It's a normal instinctive reaction to not forget the hurt of experiencing betrayal, but it's not suitable for a repaired relationship.
If, through betrayal, you infinitely amplify your grievances and sorrows, you will continue to compromise with negative emotions. You know, all the good people in this world will want to open their arms to people who are positive and sunny.
Beautiful, there is no room for the existence of negative things.
If you want to get better and better, you must throw away everything negative. If you're not ready to manage your emotions and communicate reasonably, don't rush to choose relationship repair!
After choosing to forgive, stay away from any negative emotions that affect the current relationship repair, and get along with the betrayer like a long-time friend and confidant, you will be better off with each other.
Moreover, because of this "friendly" relationship, you will cultivate love, gain love, and achieve fulfillment for the second time! Remember?
—End—
Love is man's purgatory in the world. Love or friendship, the right time meets the right person to cultivate the right results!
Topic Discussion: Do you think that after experiencing betrayal, the repaired marriage relationship can still be happy? Welcome to leave a message interactive bar.