Girls don't necessarily really like you when they do this to you!

Hello, everyone, I'm Li Shugen.

Recently, a very friend said:

"Root, how can I chat to make her like me more?"

"Tree Roots, what should I do if my confession is rejected?"

"Tree Roots, my crush often looks at me, does he like me?"

...

Three illusions of life!

As for what are the three major illusions of life, friends who know can leave a message in the comment area and make up lessons for friends who don't know.

I have already talked about many girls who like our various performances before, and today, I want to tell you why we feel that she likes me.

#1 Misreading of information

First of all, the premise, the core motivation that makes you have this illusion is that you like her.

Psychology guru Julesine Josselsen said in the book The Pygmalion Effect that relationships are created, not discovered.

Putting on the proposition we are talking about today, you find that the girl you like likes you, which is not accurate.

This illusion is actually "created" by yourself.

Because you like her, your heart is naturally full of expectations of "she also likes you", so there is a misreading of information.

You've put on the colored glasses called "Good Feelings," and all of her words, actions, and looks, in your eyes, generate the information you want to read.

Maybe the girl will smile politely at everyone, but in your eyes, it is evidence that she has a good feeling for you.

The girl passes by you and pulls her hair, her eyes casually glance at you, her hand lifts slightly, and your brain immediately begins to analyze the information you want.

Notice that it is what you want, and it has a strong subjective color, not objective information.

Anticipation can give you a lot of illusions, such as:

She pulled her hair to show me charm, right?

There was definitely a subtext in the way she looked at me!

What was she trying to say to me?

Did she raise her hand to touch me?

Friend, your imagination is still quite rich.

#2 Smile effect

Next, because you have such a misreading of the information, you will appear very positive next.

You have a twinkle in your eye and the sunniest smile on her face, friendly and gentle. Well...

As long as it is a normal and polite girl, she will definitely smile back at you, and as a result, you can't see it, ah, she really likes me!

Friends, even if it's a boy across from you, he'll smile at you.

There should be quite a few people who know about the smile effect:

It refers to the fact that when a person is in contact with the outside world, a smile will infect others and make others feel happy, and the old saying that reaching out without hitting a smiley face is also the truth.

Human behavior is one that affects the behavior of others, just as the action of forces is mutual.

Your positive feedback, of course, the other party will also be positive feedback.

#3 Belief Sticking

And so you begin to believe in the illusion that "she likes you," and you begin to look for clues to prove your inferences.

You should have heard the story of the "suspected neighbor stealing the axe", which is that once upon a time, a man lost his axe, and he suspected that the neighbor's son stole it.

So I began to observe the man, and I felt that the man's words and deeds looked like a thief no matter how they looked.

Soon after, the axe was inadvertently found, and he felt that the other party did not look like a thief again.

Preconceived notions create prejudices, and what you actually do is confirm the "prejudice."

You'll only draw conclusions from the clues you want, ignoring the clues that indicate that she doesn't like you.

You are blinded by your "prejudices".

In addition, it is also very important that there is a phenomenon in psychology called belief fixation.

It means that once people have established a certain belief in something, it is difficult to be broken, and even when evidence and information to the contrary appear, they tend to turn a blind eye.

He wants to maintain his own correctness, so there will be so many levers on the Internet, and there will be so many people who insist on their own opinions.

When you discuss with people, you often think that this person is so stubborn, and why doesn't the other party think so?

In fact, this is also a self-identification mechanism for people, feeling that they are right and not wrong.

Not to mention that you think "she likes you", so you want to defend it more.

Finally, the root of the tree wants to say that everything has its two sides and complexity.

On the one hand, maintaining the mentality of "she likes you" helps you to have a positive interaction with the girl, and every time you pass on information, you are providing positive feedback to the other party.

If you can really interact with her and develop into a happy relationship, then you will not have the heart to insert willows.

On the other hand, we have to avoid feeling too good about ourselves and making girls resent you.

But no matter what kind of mentality we have, we must pay attention to one thing, do not bother each other because of their self-righteous feelings, and do not blame each other because of their self-righteous prejudices.

After all, relationships are created, not discovered.

What does this sentence mean? I want to have a relationship to create my own!

I don't know if you have heard that sentence, all unexpected encounters are prepared.

Whether we want to get to know her, or want to get closer to her, or even want to fall in love with her, we must be self-prepared and self-created.

Create timing, create encounters.

Of course, it is okay to wait, but it is nothing more than the news that she is in love with someone else.

Friend, don't be silly and wait.

Take the initiative and make a connection between the two of you.