There is a high-view topic on Zhihu: What are the moments in 2021 that make you feel that the "defense-breaking" of adults is in an instant?
I received answers from hundreds of confidants.
One of them, the grandmother who had just lost her wife, asked the traffic police: "When will life get better?" ”
Some people also said: "Adults' defense is often not constantly crying and complaining about themselves, but repeatedly and silently bearing the outbreak and breaking the embankment." ”
Someone else said, "One second I was still very motivated to change the academic report at night, and the next second I was suddenly told that my tutor was gone." "Instant defense.
Looking back on 2021, everyone must have a moment of breaking defenses, being harassed by customers, being scolded by their bosses, being excluded by colleagues, or being anxious about mortgages and car loans.
Because of the adult world, you will find that when you wake up, you are surrounded by people who need to rely on themselves.
Lao Yang's owl wrote very clearly in "The Adult World, There is No Easy Word" on the current situation that adults need to face, adulthood means more responsibilities, but also means that more tasks need to be undertaken, everyone is not easy in life, this is the consensus of everyone.
And Lao Yang's owl used 25 true stories, hoping that reading these words will be able to grow up, calmly and calmly, and find your own satisfaction in the life of chickens and dogs.
In the face of the adult world, it is necessary to heal on your own.
01 The collapse of adults, only in an instant
There was a viral video last year of a woman stumbling to get on a bus.
The woman took her illness to catch the bus that day, stumbling and shaking along the way to catch the bus.
The driver looked at her in a bad state, tears, her face was red, thinking that she must be sick, so she called the police. In the process, the woman kept repeating, "I'm going to work, I'm going to work." ”
Later, it was learned that she worked in the factory all night every day, it should be blowing air conditioning and catching a cold, and the reason why she insisted on taking the illness to work was that she did not want to be deducted the 300 yuan full attendance award.
For the 300 yuan full attendance award, women regardless of their bodies, but also insist on going to work, because of the helplessness of life, if you can, who does not want to rest.
Because in the adult world, you are no longer just one person, and there are still many things to be responsible for.
The collapse of adults cannot cry hysterically, cannot shout and shout without anyone, cannot wantonly destroy regardless of disregard, must talk about cost performance, arrange order, divide the occasion, calculate time, find cover, do not change the color of the face, be careful, be quiet, take over the current unsatisfactory with bare hands, expose the beautiful, but bitterly evaluate themselves.
Adult collapses cannot be arbitrary, but there are also moments of collapse.
Just like Mr. Zhang in the book, when his wife was pregnant for the seventh month, he was suddenly found to be stillborn, and he just joked: "This child probably forgot to bring the key." ”
After nine months of working day and night with the boss, the boss suddenly ran away, swept away everything in the company, and a lost creditor, he just said easily: "Haha, this is the boss trying to make me the boss." ”
There is also the sudden death of his old father, who is usually energetic, and he did not cry, but calmly did the aftermath for his father.
A lot of people think this guy is a bit cold-blooded. But once when going out to eat hot pot, when someone sandwiched the balls, a huge "splash" was thrown in the hot pot, and everyone else was fine, but they let Mr. Zhang's white shirt "hang up the color".
At that moment, Mr. Zhang did not hold back, and the tears directly flowed down.
Later, he said: "Actually, I didn't bite my tongue that day, but I didn't tighten it all of a sudden." I couldn't resist so many things that drove me crazy, and I didn't expect these little things to be aimed at me. ”
Sometimes, it's just a few small things that weigh on people's emotions.
02 Adults can also keep a childlike heart
Adulthood means maturity, which means that you can't be spoiled, you can't mess around, and you can no longer make unreasonable demands like children.
You tell yourself that adults are going to do adult things, and those childhood things are no longer suitable for you.
Age is always growing, and looks are always changing, but maintaining a childlike heart is something that everyone can do.
The old lady who is over seventy years old, life is only a digital growth for her, and she always has new ideas about life, and she can't change the time, she changes her attitude to life.
For example, if a hen that has been raised for more than a year does not lay eggs, she will threaten it: "If you don't lay eggs again, I will eat you today." ”
Walking and seeing a stone in the middle of the road, she would cross her waist and explain the truth to the stone for half a day, and then move the stone to the side.
Playing poker with a girlfriend in her seventies, winning, will take a watercolor pen and draw a turtle on her girlfriend's forehead.
During the World Cup, watching the ball with my two sons will be more excited than my two sons, and I have been shouting: "Pass, you are passing, hey, I'm dying." ”
At the moment of losing, she would excitedly smash the porcelain cup that had followed her for more than thirty years, and then spoil her son like a child to make his son lose.
In our opinion, this Zhou grandmother's mentality is even better than that of her son and grandson.
Childlike heart is not only children have, adults can also have, it is not exclusive to adults.
As the author said: "The 'childlike heart' I understand is that the fresh is not afraid of crushing, reckless and does not ask tomorrow; it is a trustworthy adult when working with adults, a cute little friend when playing with children, another cat and a dog when seeing a cat and a dog, and a butterfly when staring at a flower. ”
There are so many things to carry in the adult world, so why not give yourself a little space to relax, in that space, you are just a "little friend".
03 The best way is to focus on yourself
The biggest anxiety of adults is that whenever they get together at a class reunion, they see that others have achieved more than themselves, and they have achieved nothing, and suddenly feel that fate does not care for them at all.
Thinking that everyone else is better than yourself is a source of anxiety and a motivator to force yourself to be good. However, when the external pressure is too great, the harvest is not growth, but increasing decadence.
Because I found that no matter how hard I tried, I still couldn't catch up with people who were better than myself, after all, they had been on departure for too long, and they had just set off.
Indeed, many people's anxiety is not because they are not good enough, but because they are led out of rhythm.
Open the circle of friends and see that everyone is getting a promotion and salary increase, changing houses and cars, and getting married and having children.
Open the vibrato, found that everyone is handsome and beautiful, nothing to sing and dance, eat and drink.
Open Zhihu, feel that each respondent is from 985, 211, Ivy, they are widely involved, it seems that there are only two troubles, either more money, or too smart.
The information that has been "filtered" spreads to your brain, and the reaction is immediately how you can immediately become what they are.
Compete for time, sleep, and health, but in the end, I found that it was still a big difference. At the end of the year, there is still nothing to sum up.
Why should you embarrass yourself, Wan Weigang once said: "The world has a plan for the world, and you have your own plan." ”
According to their own plan, shift the focus to themselves, see their every progress, do something they like, accept their "bad to explosive" state and "decline to home" situation, and then diligently and earnestly make efforts to recover the lost land little by little.
In fact, the most feared thing is not that others are better than you, but that you suddenly don't want to work hard. When you are anxious, it means that you have not yet conceded to fate.
04 2022 May the world of adults be easier
Finally, a few favorite words in "The Adult World, There is No Easy Word":
Who isn't a glass heart? It's just that some people know that when the outside of the heart is wrapped in several layers of soundproof sponges, when the heart is broken, naturally no one can hear it.
Instead of wasting energy on "everyone looks down on you", it is better to personally go through the troubles in front of you; instead of pretending to try to deceive others, it is better to sink your heart and repair yourself.
There is nothing more wasteful of expressions in the world than to mess with the wise and explain the truth to the fool.
May 2022 be a more relaxed and easier life in the adult world.