(Text: Xinqing Original article)
Recently, I have been immersed in family ethics novels, and every time I read one, my mood is like a falling leaf in the autumn wind. Because of the darkness of human nature, lamenting the impermanence of fate, the difficulty of life...
Until I saw the headline official recommended the creative activity "Vitality Conference" to me, I realized: Ah, is 2021 almost over?!
This year is like a white colt passing through the gap, as if there are not many things that really make me remember, time is split into pieces by the chicken and garlic, and before it is too late to taste, it is wrapped forward.
A natural disaster in 2020 will also have a huge impact on 2021, and looking back on this year, there are no surprises and not too many regrets. And isn't life, stability, the greatest gift?
This year, I would like to say thank you to my teammates, thank you for so many years of inclusive understanding, and never give up. I want to say thank you to the child for care, and in the next year, we will upgrade the monster fight together and make progress together. I want to wish my parents good health and all the worries.
This year, give my husband a 70 points, deduct 30 points, of which 10 points are afraid of his pride, 10 points are because he has drunk more times this year, and 10 points are because he is too busy this year and pays a little less attention to his body.
My husband lamented to me before going to bed two days ago: our family's economic situation is not so tense in the bad environment, mainly because we both have stable jobs, especially you, your contribution to our family is too big.
Indeed, this year, we are all working hard and looking for ways to open source. Thankfully, we both developed our own second careers.
In fact, in marriage, women are not afraid of tiredness, not afraid of poverty, they are afraid of men being blind.
Before I saw the trip of the 29-year-old diagnosed husband in Shandong, I felt his wife's helplessness across the screen. According to the circulation report, the man spent only two days with his wife and sick daughter during the 9-day trip. The rest of the time, in addition to going to work, is with his friend Wang Mou.
Some netizens commented: "Covered my wife's words, and thought it was a nanny." "How did he manage to go a week without coming home?"
Some people even speculated that his friend Wang Mou would not be his cheating object. We have no way of knowing the identity of Wang, but there is no doubt that this man must be absent in marriage and child-rearing.
"Widowed marriage", "widowed parenting" are terrible words. Under the epidemic situation, a circulation report has torn off the fig leaf of how many marriages, exposing the unbearable exposure of marriages to the public.
I am grateful to my husband, who dedicates his limited time beyond work to his family.
Psychologist Jung said: "The worst influence of parents on their children is to make them feel that they are not living a good life." ”
My husband pays special attention to his words and deeds in this regard, and on special days, he will also surprise his family in his own way.
My husband is a pragmatic person, and he always thinks about the value for money before doing things, even if it is a gift. For example, he would buy me a gift, and he would choose to buy me a dress for the same price over fancy little jewelry. He thinks that no matter how much jewelry you wear, you wear it around or those few pieces, and the clothes are different, you can not repeat it for a month.
He unconsciously puts this view of me on the child, so the child sometimes feels like talking to the father as if he were talking to a chicken and a duck.
With our tireless efforts to transform, he is now much better than before. On Halloween, we secretly ordered each of us a strange outfit. In the children's contented laughter, the old father sighed sadly: I really don't want them to grow up so quickly.
Some people say that the meaning of marriage is that life is difficult and you need one person to help each other.
Thank you sir, married for 10 years, has not left me alone. In 2021, it was hard. In 2022, we are in the same boat and will continue to work hard to create a better life.
I called my mom two days ago, and my mom said she had a cold, a bad cough, and it hurt all over her body. Go to the hospital for examination, a little pleural hydrops, need infusion anti-inflammatory, the doctor prescribed 2 weeks of medication.
She was a little reluctant to go, and after losing for 5 days, her symptoms eased and she didn't want to go. I advised her, with a little joke: you must take good care of your body, and strive to live for a few more years, your grandson has not yet brought up.
When I say this, it is not that I am cruel, but the current situation of our family.
My brother and my father work in Dongguan, and my sister-in-law suffers from mental illness, barely takes care of herself, has been taking medicine, and basically does not work. The family depended on my brother and 60-year-old father to work part-time to survive, and the two children and my mother stayed in their hometown.
My mother often said that I hope that I will live a long life and bring up my children, and I can help them a little more.
The elderly with children have a lot of bad habits. I used to be angry about my brother throwing two children to my mother, first, because my mother was too tired, and second, I really felt that some of my mother's habits of bringing children were not very good.
But then I think about it, if it is not for the upheaval of life, who wants to be separated from their children?
My brother is a project supervisor who is busy every day either at work or on the way to work, my father works on the construction site, my sister-in-law has problems with self-care because of illness, and it is even more impossible to take care of the children.
In this case, two children staying at home is undoubtedly the best option. More importantly, you don't have to worry about your children's schooling in your hometown.
Before this year, I often advised my parents not to worry too much, and that their children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren. But my father always wanted to help my brother lay a solid foundation while he could still do it, so that after a hundred years of his own, my brother's life would not be difficult.
My husband said that you feel that they are hard, but he himself feels happy, and he is happy that he can still exert his residual heat for his children and grandchildren, so why should you deprive him of his happiness.
I was relieved.
Especially after reading the book "Please Get Lost in My Side", I feel even more that the aging of my parents does not mean the loss of value, and they still love you deeply in their own way.
And "needed" is worth a thousand words, and is the best prescription for giving them the best inspiration and healing of this bitter wine of life.
My dad used to be bad at emotional expression, and even if there was a gully in his chest, the surface would not show dew. As he grew older, he became more and more fond of saying something fleshy.
Sometimes when I get a call from him, before I can say anything, he will say: Why haven't I called for a long time, I miss you.
In this way, no matter how old parents are, they are willing to eat their children no matter how hard they are. I have to work hard enough to be able to get down on my knees when they need it, and when they can't walk, in front of the bed.
In 2021, I want to say to my parents: You have worked hard. 2022 will be in good health and all the best.
My son's nickname is "Duoduo", and there is a lot of superfluous. When the child was still in his mother's belly, he was doomed to an embarrassing position.
At that time, my parents did not want to have a second child, to be precise, they did not have the conditions for having a second child: one was that two rooms were not enough to live, and the other was that the economic conditions did not allow me to take the baby full-time.
When I procrastinated until 10 weeks, I went to the hospital for surgery, which I thought was a small operation, and the doctor prescribed me a 4-day hospitalization bill. I asked the doctor if I had to stay for 4 days! The doctor was not surprised: of course, 10 weeks, it was already a small person.
"Is it a little person?" I repeated the doctor's words, momentarily heartbroken and unable to breathe. My husband said no, let's go see the house.
So we both left the hospital and went directly to the nearby agency. Back home, the two of us repeatedly compared and discussed, and finally decided to abandon Shenzhen and move to the surrounding area. Finally, before the birth of the second child, we finalized a set of three-bedroom in Dongguan, with a land of chicken feathers and millions of debts, we started the second child life.
I've seen a reason about having a second child before that goes like this: Having a second child is not because you have money, nor do you have to have a boy or a girl, in this era of human warmth and utilitarianism, the most important thing for parents is not to leave a house and silver for their children, but to leave him a relative, who can care for each other and can support each other.
Now as the child gets older, I can feel more and more that this is indeed the case.
My brother was hospitalized for pharyngitis when I was 4 months old, and my daughter had just learned pinyin in the first grade. When the teacher taught d-u-o, she suddenly cried, she said that she missed her brother, and when she thought of her brother's injection and was afraid of pain, she missed her brother even more.
Two nights ago, one day my brother suddenly woke up in the middle of the night and got out of bed, I asked him what he was doing, and he said I went to see if my sister was sick.
The warm little interaction between the sisters and brothers can really soothe the adult's gradually numb heart many times.
Parents and children have a ride, and it is not mutually fulfilling. In the process of accompanying children to grow up, we actually grow up again, remembering the warmth of forgotten and repairing the increasingly broken soul.
Thank you for 2021 to my child. Thank you for nourishing me and giving me a simple beauty. In 2022, we continue to take care of each other and upgrade and fight monsters together.
Life, life, pain and happiness, there are gains and regrets, there are disappointments and hopes, but the people I love and the people who love me are my armor.
Middle-aged girl, bravely rush forward.
I am a clear heart, writing about the warmth of the world, and talking about life. If your heart is clear, the years are not hurt.