In the old days, many rural old sayings and proverbs, many of which were expressed in dialects, "Men to forty must pay attention, more away from less rely on half of the people" In the old rural saying, the "half people" belong to the dialect. To understand this saying, you must first understand the meaning of "half-man" to better understand this old rural saying.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="2" >1. </h1>
"Half-man" is a dialect, and in some places it is called the vernacular, which means a woman whose husband has died, that is, a widow. In the old days, people regarded husband and wife as one, and husband and wife were complete in the family. At that time, men had polygamy, and if the husband lost his wife, he could either continue the string or raise the concubine as his wife. If the wife loses her husband, according to the feudal etiquette system, the woman ends up, under normal circumstances, can only be widowed, can not remarry. In this way, the husband and wife lost half, which is why in the old days, "half a man" meant a widow. If a man becomes celibate after losing his wife, called a widower, in the dialect, the person who has died of his wife is not referred to as a "half-man", so "half-man" in the old days specifically referred to the woman whose husband died.
So what dialects of "Half-Man" are there?
Li Haiguan of the Qing Dynasty (who died around 1766 AD) wrote the vernacular novel "The Wrong Road Lamp" for the fifth and third time:
"It turned out that Wang Zhong was loyal to the Lord, and when he saw Xia Kuiruo sitting downstairs talking to the woman on the half side of the housewife, this was a matter of annoyance, and the teeth were broken."
Li Haiguan was a native of Xin'an, Henan, Ju Baofeng, and he used a large number of dialects in Henan in his book "The Lamp of the Wrong Road". It can be seen that during the Qing Dynasty, there was a saying of "half-sided people" in the Henan dialect.
The modern writer Wu Zuxuan (a native of Maolin, Jing County, Anhui Province) also had this to say in his 1934 novel "The Peace of the World":
"I'm a half-man, I have nothing to rely on. My money is my blood, my life. That's no way, you have to pay back the meat! Otherwise, I'll give you my old life!" ”
The novel "The Peace of the World" is from the Republic of China period, that is to say, during the Republic of China, some places in our country still have dialects such as "half-sided people". At the same time, it also shows that in addition to Henan, there are dialects such as "half-sided people" in other places, which mean the same thing. In addition, some parts of Guangdong also have such dialects.
From the two passages quoted above, it can be seen that "half-man" means a woman whose husband is widowed.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="59" >2, "male to forty must pay attention, more away from less than half of the people" meaning</h1>
When a man reaches forty years, he is called "the year of not being confused," that is, "forty years without confusion" (from the Analects), which originally meant that he could clearly understand and doubt things when he encountered them. In the old days, people expanded the meaning of this sentence and had a richer meaning. "Forty and not confused" means that forty-year-old men no longer know how to understand, but have rich experience, know "benevolence and righteousness", and from the accumulation of life experience, they have reached the age of being able to fully understand the truth.
In the old days, people believed that when men were weak and standing in the age of harmony, they did not have a thorough understanding of "benevolence and righteousness", and everything that had to be done had to be done by the elders, that is, the so-called "etiquette", that is, passively doing according to traditional rules, or ignorance period. After reaching forty, people enter the realm of "not being confused", that is, at this age, they can distinguish between right and wrong, know "benevolence and righteousness", and have reached the realm of the wise.
In the old days, people married early, at the age of forty, their children grew up one after another, and some of the eldest sons of the family also reached the age of seventeen or eighteen, and the eldest daughter had reached the age of marriage, if the children married early, they might be grandfathers or grandfathers. This age group is to set an example for children, but also to establish prestige in the village and the family, not only to do things themselves to "follow the etiquette", but also to educate their children to do things to "follow the etiquette".
Besides, in the old days, when men were forty to fifty years old, it was the time when the burden and responsibility of the family were the heaviest. The parents above are getting older and older day by day, and they have to support and honor them; the children below grow up day by day, and the male is married and the female is married. In the old days, the marriage of children was an arranged marriage, which had to be arranged for the children to choose the object, and at the same time to bear full responsibility for the cost of the marriage. That is to say, the age of forty to fifty for a man is the age at which he gives his children "cattle and horses", and he cannot be dashing unless he is the kind of person who has no sense of responsibility for the family.
The "half-man" is a widow, as the saying goes, "The widow is not much in front of the door", and forty-year-old men should know more about this aspect, have more wisdom, and "leave more and rely on the half-man".
What does it mean to "lean more away and lean less"? This is not to say that before the age of forty, a man can often be with the "half-man", and after the age of forty, he will leave and not rely on it. Even before the age of forty, do not go to the "half-man" home to visit the door, and after the age of forty, you must stay away even further, try to contact as little as possible, so as not to cause rumors. "More away" means to leave far away, that is, to keep the distance it should at all times. "Less reliance" means less contact.
From the common folk customs of the old countryside, forty-year-old men were mixed with "half-people", even if there was nothing to do, as the saying goes, "often walk by the river, where are the shoes that are not wet?" "Naturally, some right and wrong will be passed out, causing the following adverse consequences to themselves."
The first is to discredit. In the old days, rural men valued their reputation more than life. When you are young, it is romantic, and there is also the saying that "the prodigal son does not change his head", that is to say, people can also give young people the opportunity to correct their mistakes. After people reach forty, people think that men have been completely stereotyped, and they will do absurd things without paying attention, giving people a very bad impression. After the reputation is ruined, the people in the village or in the family, or even in the neighboring villages, guard against people with bad reputations like thieves. In addition, he talks and does things in the village, has no status, and is despised on the moral level, and he cannot look up for the rest of his life.
The second is to affect the family. When men are mixed up with "half-people", their minds are naturally not all focused on family building, and at the same time, it is a great harm to their families. Because they set a bad example in front of their children and become fathers, they have no prestige among their children, and their children will not obey them and will not give them the respect they deserve; as husbands, their feelings with their wives will certainly be discounted, and some will even break down. In the old etiquette system, the wife could not file for divorce, nor did she have the right to file for divorce, but from then on, the family would make a lot of noise and there would be no good life. In the end, the situation is serious, and the wife will be separated and a good family will be destroyed.
Then again, the words "more" and "less" in "more away from less than half a person" are used very accurately and very interestingly.
The "half-people" in the village live in the same village, and some are even next-door neighbors, and they can't look up and look down. The "half-man" itself is a tragic figure, and it is impossible for the villagers to isolate them, and besides, such a family needs the help of the village the most. Most of china's rural areas have the custom of helping each other and helping each other in the family.
Forty-year-old men stay away from or have less contact with "half-people" is relative, not absolute, and difficult to do. This depends on the wisdom of each man, who has helped the "half-man", accumulated yin virtue, and improved his prestige among the villagers, but also has no rumors. Rural people believe that forty-year-old men should have this wisdom for "not confused". For example, do not get along with the "half-man" alone, some things must be contacted with the "half-man", and a companion should be brought around, such as a neighbor, or a person from his own family, so that normal contact is also bright and upright, and there are words that are clear. In fact, in the past, in the real world, when men came into contact with "half-people", in order to avoid suspicion, they did it in this way.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="60" >3, is this old saying still applicable to people in rural areas today? </h1>
The above interpretation of the saying "men to forty must pay attention, more away from less rely on half people" has the meaning of the old times, of course, not suitable for modern society. Because the rural society and the people's way of life in the times are very different from the modern rural society and the people's way of life, society has undergone earth-shaking changes, and many aspects can be said to be worlds apart.
For example, today's "half-people" can enjoy their own rights to marry according to law, and they can freely choose whether to remarry after bereavement. This was not possible in the feudal era, and it was not allowed by society at that time. Objectively speaking, the freedom of marriage in modern society not only gradually disappears in the context of the statement that "widows are not many at the door", but also the context of the term "half-man" as a dialect has disappeared for many years. That's why many young people are now unfamiliar with the word and can't even understand it.
Some nouns of the old era, because they are not adapted to modern society, will naturally disappear, but with the rapid development of society, it is inevitable that new social problems will appear again, and new social terms will also arise.
For example, when people reach forty, regardless of men and women, there will be a crisis phenomenon in the marriage and family of the current society, which is now called "mid-life crisis" by some people, referring to the emotional crisis between middle-aged couples. This kind of emotional crisis was previously only felt by people living in the city. However, in the past two decades, due to the large number of rural laborers going out to the city to work, accepting the lifestyle and life concept in the city, and opening up their minds, this "mid-life crisis" once appeared among middle-aged people in rural areas, resulting in the instability of marriage and family of some middle-aged people in rural areas, and the divorce rate of middle-aged people in rural areas has increased.
In short, the old rural saying: "Men to forty must pay attention, more away from less rely on half of the people" is outdated in today's society, but the "mid-life crisis" still makes men and women who are "forty not confused" still feel dangerous, whether it is rural or urban, the theme of maintaining family stability is still not outdated, still has positive significance. Therefore, it is not only the male to forty who must pay attention now, but also the female to forty, and the tolerant, happy, and harmonious family is still what people need now.