Gao Shuxian originally held the spirit card of Shan Bianxiong, the great young master of the Shan family, and from then on, she stepped into the courtyard of the Shan family with both feet and began her long journey of widowhood.
At the beginning, her mother also advised bitterly: Child, the suffering of widowhood is not something you can bear.
However, she knew that the groom was dead, but she insisted on being this single grandmother, and she finally overestimated herself.
Before she passed the door, the young master of the single family had already died, and she could have chosen another good person, but she insisted on keeping the marriage contract and marrying into the single family, and for ten years she was widowed for her husband and filial piety for her husband.
Since she was widowed, she has not left the door for two doors, and she has been provincial in the morning and evening, and she has strictly adhered to the women's way and has not crossed the line. Even her always strict father-in-law had to admit that this daughter-in-law was indeed thoughtful and decent, taking into account the overall situation.
But after ten years of widowhood, she herself knew best the bitterness and loneliness.
Alone in the empty room, there was not even a person to speak, and the long night was accompanied only by dim lights. On lonely nights, she had measured the single family compound with her feet countless times, walking alone through every brick and stone in the house.
She said that the third year was the most difficult, and later Wu Mama felt sorry for her and sent her a large bowl of soybeans for her to count in the dark night. After years of touching, the original rough and uneven surface of the soybean has long been polished smoothly and smoothly, faintly flashing a chilling cold light.
Later, she became obsessed with smoking tobacco soil, and even her father-in-law could not bear to see her live without hope, preferring to spend a lot of money to buy so-called high-grade tobacco soil for her to eat. However, the smoke and soil eroded not only her body, but also the spiritual poverty and emptiness that could no longer be concealed.
The reason why Gao Shuxian knew that her fiancé was dead but still chose to marry into the Single Family, in addition to overestimating her ability to keep an empty house alone, also buried a deeper desire: the reputation of the virgin martyr and the money of the Single Family.
Looking at the plaque of "Women's Model" issued by the county magistrate himself over and over again, she seemed to be able to gain the strength to affirm and persevere from it. She painted herself as a prison, and the suffering of ten years of widowhood was self-inflicted.
In her own words, it was for these things that she endured for ten years, and she could not fail.
Therefore, when the second young master of the Shan family, Shan BianLang, was about to return to the west due to the late stage of leprosy, her father-in-law had pretended to let her recruit a son-in-law, and later gave birth to a child with the surname of Shan, and then inherited the family business, and she refused. She knew it was a temptation for her.
After the death of the little uncle and the father-in-law, in the face of the persecution of the second uncle and the third uncle of the single family, in order to control the family business, she played the emotional card to force Dai Jiulian to stay, and let her give birth to the child in her womb. When Dai Jiulian gave birth to a dragon and phoenix fetus, she was afraid that the child would not kiss her in the future, and she wanted to viciously "go to the mother and keep the child" several times and three times.
Ten years of widowhood, has long been the once youthful and agile girl into a lonely and bitter woman.
It wasn't until finally Dai Jiulian was indignant in her heart, and found Qian Yulang, who was good at hooking up with the eldest girl and daughter-in-law, and completely broke Gao Shuxian's skills, that she dared to slowly face up to her inner desires and normal needs.
She cared too much about her reputation as a chaste martyr, wanted to be praised by the world, and at the same time, she was afraid of being pointed out, so that she was trapped in it and could not extricate herself. At the same time, she also cares about the property of a single family, but she does not know that people are alive, but the eclipse of the sun, the night of a bed, too much desire is easy to increase troubles.
The easiest mistake in life is to care too much about the eyes of others. How much suffering it is to live this life according to the standards of others, you can imagine.
Fortunately, she finally woke up and found that there was a person around her silently waiting, without complaint or asking for anything in return.
Under the encouragement of Jiu'er, she resolutely chose to remarry, and since then, she has a caring person who knows cold and knows heat, and because of this warmth and determination, she finally chose to live and die with her lover, without fear or regret.
When people live for one lifetime, they do not have to have vain names and unnecessary desires, let alone live in the worldly standards and live in the eyes of others.
Self-painting is a prison, what is delayed is your own life, what is suffering is yourself, and the people who watch the play will not have the slightest pity for you, and sometimes even feel that you have not done enough. What a pain!