When I was little, the parental relationship I saw was like this.
His father died when he was a child, and when he was 11 years old, he wandered to Shanghai, became a worker, caught up with the special era of the "Cultural Revolution", and joined the party as a well-born youth.
Born in a capitalist family, my mother was a big miss since she was a child, with no worries about food and clothing, and she also caught up with the torrent of the "Cultural Revolution", and the whole family was affected. Brothers and sisters were scattered everywhere, some were branched, some married to the countryside, some joined the army, and the only people who stayed in Shanghai were my mother, grandfather, grandmother, and grandmother-in-law. For the sake of safety, she was introduced to my father and became this protégé. In the original words of the time, it was hoped to improve the bloodline so that the next generation would no longer be discriminated against.
The story is so simple, my father entered my family. A young man who had not attended a day's school was confronted by a highly educated young woman, and their marriage began.
When I was a child, my mother was such a person: strong, short-tempered, sharp hands and feet, and I couldn't imagine that she was a big lady when she was a child. His father grew up in poor health, nephritis, hepatitis, hypertension, and finally died of cerebral hemorrhage. Because of illness, the father has been paid 30% off all year round, and the mother is substitute in the primary school, and the two of them have to support the family for these tens of dollars, which is very stressful.
All of our clothes were made by my mother, the sweaters were all knitted by her, and the meals were cooked by her, including the stove, which she herself made out of cement bricks. Every night she would keep an eye on our homework, and as long as she reached the second place in the grade, she would definitely be beaten. After the fight, she also cried and said, I have no hope in this life, it depends on you. He also said, if it weren't for the two of you, I would have left Old Dai long ago.
They never quarrel. The mother would often yell at her father, but the father never returned his mouth, but only quietly hid out. So in my opinion, she and her father have no feelings. Usually at home, I can't see them say a few words in a day. Growing up in this oppressive atmosphere, the only thing I wanted to do was to leave this home, as far away as possible.
However, my father died in his early 40s, when my brother and I were both less than 20 years old, and things changed so much that my mother could not slow down for a long time. She built her father's grave on the edge of Taihu Lake on the outskirts of Suzhou, and the scenery was too good to be true.
My mother found a job in Suzhou, and if there were no accidents, she would go to the grave every month to visit the grave and chat with her father. She had spoken more that day than she had said to her father in the previous week.
Years later, my mother married again and divorced again. She said that I would never find anyone as good as Old Dai was to me. She said, I really thank your father for accommodating my stinky temper for 20 years and giving me such good two sons. You know, I really, really miss him. His eyes were red again.
I'm glad my mother saw the past in this way, and she began to live in the past world after her own beautification. In fact, if the father had lived until now, they would have divorced a long time ago.
This is a strange logic of the Chinese, the deceased is the greater, and no one should compare with him. The love stories that have been passed down through the ages must be that one person dies first before it becomes eternal: Lin Daiyu, Liang Shanbo, Meng Jiangnu, Yang Yuhuan and so on. Once dead, they are offered to the throne of God and are not allowed to be blasphemed.
When our loved ones leave this world, just remember their kindness to us. Then, silently sealed him into memory. If you don't understand, in the second half of your life, you can only live in memory. Don't compare the future with the past, the future will undoubtedly lose.
We've all loved people before, and love is the only thing we can take away from this world, and it makes death so easy.