Chinese odd woman - Zhang Ailing

Speaking of Zhang Ailing, what comes to mind is the photo of her wearing a contrasting cheongsam, decadent and gorgeous, her eyes are confused, and her chin is raised, and that kind of lonely arrogance comes to her face; after reading her biography, I infinitely feel that this woman with a legendary life tells us with her life that the real desert is on the curtain of flowers.

Born into a cold and stable childhood

Zhang Ailing's grandfather was Zhang Peilun, an official of the Qing Dynasty who enjoyed the reputation of righteousness and righteousness, and her grandmother was the daughter of Li Hongzhang of the Xiangfu Qianjin Dynasty, who was born into a famous family. But with the change of the situation of the times, to the father Zhang Tingzhong, the family road began to decline, the family guarded the property left by the father, or lived a luxurious and decent life, the family maids, drivers are all complete, Zhang Ailing's childhood was spent in the old house in Tianjin, she and her brother Zhang Zijing have their own exclusive servants, under their care and companionship, the childhood years are quiet and warm, there are swings, songs, stories, laughter. Although the arms of their parents are not open to them from time to time, they are happy, although when Zhang Ailing was 4 years old, her mother left home with her aunt and went to another country on the other side of the ocean because of her incompatible relationship with her father and the pursuit of her dreams; after her mother left, her father took her aunt "Lao Ba" from outside into the house, and this aunt and Zhang Ailing got along well, and later was expelled from the house because of arguing with her father and injuring her father. Later, after his father's job position was cancelled, he was determined to reflect on it and decided to live a good life again, so he wrote to his mother to request that he return to China and start a new life after drug rehabilitation.

In 1928, Zhang Ailing returned to Shanghai with her father, and her mother also returned to China, living in a garden house in Shanghai, and her father went to the hospital to rehabilitate herself under her mother's arrangement, playing the piano and singing for her and her brother, and everything seemed to return to the original warm track. Zhang Ailing's mother in her eyes is wearing the most fashionable dress, painting exquisite makeup, talking about interesting topics, she is very novel and admired, but lacks the sense of intimacy between mother and daughter.

Mother Huang Yifan by the influence of Western countries, want to let Zhang Ailing receive a new type of education, the father is resolutely opposed, the contradiction between the parents is getting stronger and stronger, but the mother still disregards the father's objections to send Zhang Ailing to the American church school, but there is nothing she can do for her son, she can only accept the husband's arrangement to study the Four Books and Five Classics at home, and the father has not really changed, and began to take drugs, and the parents' quarrels have become more and more frequent, and finally the mother is unbearable, the divorce ends the marriage, Zhang Ailing and her brother are raised by the father.

Junior high school in Santa Maria Girls' School, Santa Maria Girls' School is an aristocratic school, Zhang Ailing here initially showed her talent for writing, in the Chinese class, her composition was appreciated by the teacher, under the encouragement and guidance of the teacher, she published a number of articles in the magazine founded by the teacher, becoming a famous talented girl in the school.

The father remarried and the teenager was imprisoned

After the parents divorced, the mother went to France, the father remarried the stepmother Sun Yongfan, she is a shrewd and powerful character, after marrying in, immediately carried out a series of rectification of the Zhang family, dismissed a group of servants and replaced them with their own people, Zhang Ailing and the stepmother treated each other with courtesy and lived in peace, because the contact between the school and the school was not much, it was still peaceful, but the younger brother Zhang Zijing became distorted and depressed under the influence of the whole day, contaminated with vices. Later, the mother returned to China, Zhang Ailing wanted to let the mother raise, but at that time the mother did not agree due to the actual situation, once Zhang Ailing went to the mother's residence, did not inform the stepmother, because it rained for more than a week, and then the stepmother added up the evil words and slapped her hand, Zhang Ailing wanted to fight back, but was framed and beaten by the stepmother, beaten and imprisoned by the angry father for more than a hundred days, seriously ill under the maid's pleading father to treat her, she found an opportunity to escape and live with her mother.

Went to Hong Kong to study and encountered war

In the summer of 1939, Zhang Ailing bid farewell to her mother and went to the University of Hong Kong to study. In the days of war outside, Hong Kong has become a rare place of tranquility, and Zhang Ailing at the University of Hong Kong has found a long-lost quiet and happiness, the library has her favorite books, there are lovely friends with their own characteristics, and there is a quiet environment to wear. However, such a good day did not last long, the war still came, in 1941 the Japanese army landed in Hong Kong, the study life was forced to be interrupted, they also became the support force of the War of Resistance, involved in the treatment of the wounded, this life is tense and boring, Zhang Ailing can only write and paint to pass this boring and bleak day. These three years have also accumulated materials for her creation, creating works such as "Agarwood Crumbs , The First Burning Incense", "Jasmine Pieces", "Love in the City" and so on.

Due to the war, he could not achieve the results of HKU, and he could not realize her dream of studying in Britain, so he had to return to Shanghai with his friend Yan Ying.

The love of the heart will eventually bury the dust of all kinds of obsession

After returning to China, Zhang Ailing ushered in the first peak of creation, her article caused a great sensation in the literary world, but also attracted her destiny - Hu Lancheng, he was the deputy director of the Propaganda Department of the Wang Jingwei government at that time, liked to dance and ink, broke into the cultural circles, when he read Zhang Ailing's "Blockade" in the "Heaven and Earth" magazine that Su Qing sent to him, he was suddenly shocked and attracted by her talent, and since then he has not found Zhang Ailing's article to read, and has written a lot of comments, becoming more and more attracted to Zhang Ailing. So he decided to visit the apartment where Zhang Ailing lived, but was rejected by Zhang Ailing's aunt with the custom of not seeing guests, but he still did not die to leave her a phone number and address, perhaps it was fate, Zhang Ailing saw the note, a little annoyed that she did not see him because she also heard about him, so the next day she called him and told him to visit him the next day. When Hu Lancheng first met Zhang Ailing in the palace, his heart was disappointed, and the Zhang Ailing he saw was a thin female student, in addition to being dressed more peculiarly, it was not amazing, but then they chatted for 5 hours, he was deeply attracted by Zhang Ailing, so he began to visit her frequently, took her to participate in activities, she submitted support for the magazine he founded, Bitter Bamboo, in front of him she became lower and lower, dressed himself up and decorated himself, spoiled him, suffered from gain and loss, and even gave her an inscription after giving her a photo "When she saw him, she became very low, very low into the dust, but her heart was joyful, and flowers blossomed from the dust." But he was getting more and more distant, and maybe after spending time together, he felt that she was a woman with some talent, and there was nothing special about it.

Finally, she waited for Hu Lancheng's confession, "Are we always together?" But she cared about his family, she said lightly: "I don't want to get married now, in a few years I will go to you." Later, Hu Lancheng returned to Nanjing, and when he came back, he had divorced his two wives, and she finally went to buy a marriage book with joy, just a marriage book, which read, "Hu Lancheng Zhang Ailing signed a lifelong marriage, married as a couple, may the years be quiet, and the world be stable", this is her most beautiful expectation finally came true witness, but she did not know that the marriage book should be two, each holding a copy, and she only has one, indicating that in this relationship, only she is a moth to the fire.

The first wedding day is also sweet, the two are tired of being together for a long time, they have only been in love for 9 months from acquaintance to marriage, but Zhang Ailing has invested all her body and mind in this regard, during which she basically abandoned her creation, just to support the magazine "Bitter Bamboo" founded by Hu Lancheng, but all of them are masterpieces.

Such a day did not take long for Hu Lancheng to go to Wuhan "Dachu Bao" as the president, they exchanged letters between them, the merry Hu Lancheng in Wuhan not long ago got to know the nurse Xiao Zhou, pursued and lived with Xiao Zhou, and the letter to Zhang Ailing constantly talked about Xiao Zhou's good, Zhang Ailing was very clear in her heart, but she still chose to be patient, because she loved him deeply, even before she heard him and his good friend Yan Ying say: "Can a person love two people at the same time?" She just told him that she heard the words "it's getting dark" but she chose to love him anyway.

In 1945, seeing that there was a victory in the War of Resistance, Hu Lancheng, who was doing things for the Japanese, knew that he had no way to retreat, so he prepared to flee, he said goodbye to Xiao Zhou, and then came to Shanghai to say goodbye to Zhang Ailing, since she had the heart to kill him on the night of parting, she loved him and hated him, after all, she just thought about it, and then said something irrelevant to him lightly. And Hu Lancheng hid in the name of Zhang Ailing's grandfather Zhang Peilun's descendants in the Si family where he lived in the countryside when he was young, and became a family with Fan Meixiu, the little bride of the Si family, when Zhang Ailing was depressed and worried about his life in the countryside, he went through twists and turns to find him, but he enjoyed a new life with Fan Meixiu, he saw her momentarily not moved but disgusted, a sentence "What do you come to do, don't go back quickly" made her instantly feel cold, but she still lived, he and Fan Meixiu came to see her, She gave Fan Meixiu half a portrait and could not continue to paint, because she discovered their relationship, she asked him several times to choose, he did not give a clear answer, she finally admitted that she had failed, it was time to let go, and then intermittently wrote letters, he came to see her, but she still decided to distribute it, on June 10, 1947, she wrote to him "I don't like you anymore" to say goodbye to the person you had mistakenly paid.

And he brought her the "wife of the traitor" infamy, but after the victory of the War of Resistance, she was criticized, her work was boycotted and insulted, she entered another low tide period in her life, fortunately, due to the opportunity of the script, under the introduction of her friend Ke Ling, she met the director Sang Gu, she wrote the script for him, he made a movie, and achieved a good response, but many times she could only appear in the name of "Liang Jing". In the frequent contact between the two, Sang Gu was attracted by her talent, zhang Ailing also relied on Sang Gu, so they walked together silently, not open to the public, but she once again or wrongly paid, maybe Sang Gu still can't afford her before, he still for his future, gave up she found someone to quickly get married, and once again she was left behind.

Then go to Hong Kong and find your home on the other side of the ocean

In desperation, she chose to leave and return to the University of Hong Kong, which once brought her warmth and calm, to continue her studies, where she found a long-lost peace. Not long after arriving in Hong Kong, the director of the American Information Department, McCarthy, came to visit and invited her to translate manuscripts, and she also needed an income and gladly promised, she completed her studies, translated at the same time, and also insisted on creating, and during this period she ushered in another peak of creation, and gradually became famous in Hong Kong, and her early works were repeatedly printed. She has always had the dream of going abroad, after a semester of studying in Hong Kong, went to Japan with the help of her good friend Yan Ying, interrupted from Japan to the United States, but could not make the trip, and later regretted Hong Kong, after unremitting efforts, she finally applied for American immigration, and went to the United States under the farewell of her good friend Song Qi and his wife.

Zhang Ailing, who has just arrived in the United States, lives with her good friend Yan Ying in the United States, alleviating the hardships caused by the unfamiliar environment. Later she got a two-year writing bonus from the Edward McDowell Writing Base, in 1956, at the age of 35 here, she met the 65-year-old American writer Fernandy Raya, they discussed literature together, Laiya's open and lively, chivalrous personality made Zhang Ailing fall in love at first sight, they frequently visited and communicated, the two hearts kept getting closer, Zhang Ailing confessed her heart when Laiya left the writing camp, and later Laiya wrote a letter to propose, they came together, Zhang Ailing finally found her own home, With Laiya's company, her life became bright, they talked about creation, literature, travel together, chai rice oil and salt, but happiness was short, not a few years of happy days, in 1960 Laiya stroke paralysis, Zhang Ailing opened while writing to make money while taking care of Laiya's life, although very fortunate, but her heart has a sense of belonging, because there is someone in life who can accompany her, chat with her, accompany her to spend the day; one day in October 1967, LaiYa finally slept slowly in the sound of Zhang Ailing's reading, and she once again became alone, facing the world alone.

The solitude ended in a miserable end

After LaiYa's death, Zhang Ailing began to live alone in isolation. In 1972 she lost her position at The University of California, Berlec and began living on royalties and writers' salaries, and her life was guaranteed because of her popularity. Later, she left New York, and with the help of her friend Zhuang Xinzheng, she moved to the Hollywood area of Los Angeles, she only took simple luggage, and began a life of seclusion in the city, mainly engaged in the translation of "Sea Flowers" and the study of "Dream of the Red Chamber", for her to maintain a lonely old age.

In the life of living alone, Zhang Ailing rarely goes out, only occasionally goes out to buy some necessary daily necessities, she does not cook much, basically buys cooked food simple heating and eating, she has very little furniture at home, but there is a TV to pass the lonely time, when neighbors try to communicate with her, she categorically refuses, even in order not to meet neighbors at night to get letters; she lives alone in the cottage, living on writing and books, and later she moves frequently, and also loses a lot of manuscripts, her last book Through photos and texts, "Comparison Notes" reveals an unseen Zhang Ailing, who sorts out her life alone in a dimly lit hut.

In September 1995, the neighbor found that she had not seen this lonely and weak old man for several weeks, the paper towels at the door had not been cleaned up for a long time, and no one responded to the knock, she called the police, and the police broke through the door and found a desolate scene: thinking that the thin Old Chinese Lady was lying quietly on the carpet in the hall, and there was a stack of spread manuscript paper on the table, and she had been dead for six or seven days after testing. A generation of talented women has ended in such a miserable end, desolate and lonely.

On September 19, 1995, Mr. Lin Shitong cremated her in accordance with her will without any ceremony. On September 30th, Lin Shitong, together with Zhu Wenyou, scattered her ashes in the Pacific Ocean as she wished, and the flowers fell into the water and flowed red, hoping that the sea would have affection, give her a warm embrace, and sleep peacefully and peacefully from then on.