The Sun Also Rises (Prose)

2018.9.19

Wherever one goes, one always traces his misunderstood nature

- Kafka, Kafka's Conversation

Growing up in a peasant family since childhood, I don't know if it is because of too much taoism, or because of the work that can never be completed, there are more than a dozen scars on a pair of rough hands, if carefully identified.

In Jiang Wen's film "The Sun Also Rises", there are two most thrilling places. One is the mother throwing water, and the cotton clothes are loaded and floated in the river water. One is when the son breaks into the tree hole, and if he is not careful, all the pottery and furniture will shatter. Of course, there is no lack of poetic expressions, such as the mother played by Zhou Yun saying, "Alyosha, don't be afraid, the train stopped on it, and he smiled and the sky lit up!" "Despite all this, I don't understand what it has to do with the scars on my hands.

Or is it that the scar on the hand is not a metaphor, but the heart is? I often think that when I was a child, I was nothing more than going up to the tree to touch the date and the river to touch the fish, even if the skin was open and fleshy, it was just a gadget, why did they have to persist in condensing into appearances, and the military merit medal generally followed for life? After adulthood, it is not blindly too peaceful, the foundry era is also hands, palms and backs of hands, have been cut through dozens of bloody mouths, the most painful or thumb, kitchen knife split, hammer smashed, paradoxically, the more smooth as ever.

Grandpa told an anecdote that he said that for a while, a rabbit in the village's crazy depression had become a sperm, and wings had grown on its back, and when it looked at it from a distance, it was very palpitating. As a result, the hunters stopped the rumor in time, it turned out to be a goshawk fighting rabbit, but the cunning rabbit did not turn back, but ran wildly, and sheng ripped off the eagle's leg, and happened to grow on its back. It seems true to recall that Camus wrote in The Myth of Sisyphus that "survival itself is the most powerful rebellion against the absurd."

Kafka was more specific— "If people want to live, they must have faith." What do you believe? Believe in the reasonable inner connection of all things and all moments, believe that life as a whole will continue forever, believe in the nearest and farthest things. "So, it coincides that I never thought of faith as materialized, a so-called scripture, a temple, a cross, a puppet with an inexplicable expression. Faith is more like Merlin under Cao Mengde's whip, without it, it may not be thirsty to death, but with it, life will definitely have more flavor.

And injury, whether it leaves scars or not, or inevitably breeds depressed emotions. A rabbit with "wings" on its back is also not a good rabbit. Wang Xiaobo's experience of this kind of thing is as follows: "Suddenly, a strong desire surged in my heart, unprecedented: I want to love, I want to live, and I will treat the life in front of me as if it were a hundred lifetimes." The truth here is very clear: I think therefore I am, and since I exist, I cannot pretend not to exist. In any case, I am responsible for myself. Therefore, no matter how strange it is, you should still love, live, and take responsibility for yourself.

Wash up in the morning and sit on a wooden chair and groan for a while. For example, Kafka, what's the latest thing? The farthest? The nearest is the scar on the hand, the farthest is the blue sky? Contrary. On some levels, the blue of the sky is simpler, but you can't track every old wound on your hand. Otherwise, how could a Tang Dynasty poet blurt out such a kind sentence as "After getting drunk, I don't know the sky is in the water, and the ship is full of dreams and dreams press the galaxy".

There was silence in the alley. Chickens are pacing silently, persimmon trees are desperately growing new branches, old people are carefully avoiding the dark ditches, and the greens under the bamboo hedges are divided into two furrows. Only in this way can life not be empty preaching, not perfunctory. The most feared is the snowy night in other places (not a rainy night), for travelers, the snow is stingy to make a noise, of course, it is not a big deal to go in and out alone, pretending to be very prosperous.

Even in the harsh winter, after heavy snowfall, the sun rises as usual. Therefore, the warm spring blossoms are particularly pleasing to the eye. In the quiet night, you can finally stop dreaming, and you can no longer tell yourself soberly in the dream, it is a dream, if it is urgent, wake up quickly. Fortunately, there was no dream, there was no admonition, and the dawn of the day was like a fire.

A few days ago, Brother An asked a few friends to go to a Hui township to taste mutton soup, and when they met, they ridiculed, it was really hey, The Old Garden, you are thin! As if the girls' little manners, even if the "generous" as old, can not help but feel happy in their hearts, then in the wilderness outside the car window, the seedlings are green, and the smell in the air is full of green and tender.