Today MaoMao came to talk to you about what do you think are the most important qualities in the relationship between men and women?
Speaking of which, many people may mention the same answer: honesty. While many people want their partners to be honest with themselves, the nature of human interests and avoidance of harm allows some people to always have "secrets that cannot be told to the other half."
A survey in the journal Sex and Culture looked at what 195 college students hid from their partners. These secrets may not only be related to some of each other's love history, but also a large part of it will involve sex.
36% of participants had at least one secret about sex in their current or recent relationship; 55% had revealed their secret to their partner at some point in the past. Amazingly, the sexual secrets of men and women can be a little different
Those girls' sexual secrets
I'm a girl who "talked" about a double-digit man... I think the most important thing about intimacy is honesty, and once a py asked me if I was with someone else at the same time, I hid it from him. However, when the group finally broke up, he still told him that he really liked that he really loved him, and he did not want to hide anything from him or was willing to be honest.
I want the other person to be honest with me. But if he has a special reason to hide something from me for a while, I can understand it, but not with deception and cajoling.
Since it is a secret, there is a reason why it cannot be said, and if it is clear that you do not want to say it, then you do not have to continue to ask. Naturally, I want to be honest with each other the most, and if it were me, I would try a secret meeting to share our little secrets.
Some questions about each other's technology I will hide, and the situation of the rush others will be selectively not said, so it is more harmonious. In general, we want the other party to be honest.
Hidden is some of their hobbies, or because of shyness or maintain the image of the ding. The partner is not py, you can't just "cs" to see, of course, I still hope to be honest with each other, maybe wait longer together we open a new mouth to really be honest.
I'll hide weird little p good, but will be honest with each other about their trip. I would also like the other person to be honest with me, mainly be curious about his experience.
The secret about sex depends on the degree of affection between the two people. If the two people have deep feelings, they will choose to confess at the right time, and if they do not have feelings, they will not choose to give it all to each other. My daughter, ex-boyfriend and ex-boyfriend all confessed to each other just together, but the other party seemed to mind, and did not know whether it had become each other's jokes, and finally broke up not long ago.
Sex must say ah, no one is obliged to know what you like, so that you can be more harmonious and happier. My very detailed talk will enhance feelings, because the process of mutual understanding itself is very sexy and emotional, and I will feel that mutual honesty and liking is a two-way rush of love.
Sometimes too sensitive and too harsh in the ex's relationship, don't say it, it is a kind of protection for the current partner. Although it is said that there will be a deeper understanding of each other, but human nature is after all a weakness, do not know what point will poke each other, a little sour jealousy. For example, once, when I talked to my ex, I was very happy to joke with each other, but then when he saw the circle of friends that I used to commemorate the previous mood, his expression changed subtly, and he would still be a little sad, although the past was over for me, but it was really hurtful to leave him with the impression that I had loved deeply.
I hid my emotional experience from the current, and I talked more about it before, but it was not casual at all, and no gx happened. Because I don't want to act before marriage, it's good to respect each other, so this doesn't prevent me from falling in love.
After the ex knew this, he only talked to me for a month" "Those things, I want to wait, he refuses, thinks I'm playing with him." We had a huge disagreement, and I knew it was important in a relationship, but I just accepted it more slowly than others because I broke up. Of course, when he broke up with me, he naturally said other reasons, but also helped me see clearly that he also saw himself, I think this kind of thing, there is no right or wrong, but to be loyal to yourself, feel comfortable, find the other half, everyone is comfortable, just can.
Those boys' sexual secrets
I have always been afraid that my partner is compared to my previous boyfriends, and I am afraid that I am not as good as an ex-boyfriend.
I actually had it with someone else behind her back.... I don't be honest with my partner just to avoid causing unnecessary trouble, which is annoying to deal with. I think that the partner can be as honest as possible, unwilling to say it, not demanding, mainly feel troublesome.
A big reason I like her is because of her best-looking feet in the whole world
We are open relationships. So what we care about is honesty, so our respective partners will know.
His/their secrets, so different
In fact, the participants in the survey have hidden a lot of things. The types of secrets that people have are also different.
The difference in the type of secret may stem from the different expectations of society for gender, so the content of secrets that women and men hide from their other half is not the same.
For women, they may emotionally hide from their partners their experience of lying to the other person or a history of victimization; they will rarely mention their hobbies or experiences of using play in S life.
For men, they often hide their experience of lying to each other; the experience of watching "movies" and the open relationships they have done that the other party cannot accept.
Men and women keep secrets for very different reasons.
Under the influence of the social environment, many women will find it difficult for their partners to understand their experiences, so they will hide some experiences that may cause secondary trauma to themselves; men keep secrets because they feel that their partners will not approve of their behavior.
Other reasons include, but are not limited to, fear that your partner will divulge secrets to others, feel ashamed, or end the relationship.
Although everyone's secret is usually not told to the partner, it is actually very likely that the other party will accidentally discover it. Some secrets were leaked by others other than their partners, some were exposed to social media, and they may have been accidentally discovered by their partners.
Unlike the hard work of hiding secrets, when secrets are exposed, more than half of them do not trigger the consequences they fear, and even make them feel relieved.
Of course, there are also some people who break up because they have difficulty gaining their partner's trust, because their partner can't accept their secrets, or other reasons.
At different ages and in different cultural contexts, the secrets that each person hides from their partners are mostly different. But not completely frank and honest with each other is actually a common thing.
Although everyone hides different secrets, most people's insincerity is to make a relationship go further. Of course, sometimes honesty can make two people more intimate.
Many people have a hard time being honest about their X experiences, and many people do things behind their partners' backs that they know the other person can't accept.
In fact, every adult has his own criteria for defining good and bad, moral and immoral, and every couple will have their own tacit understanding.
Secrets can exist, but they can neither harm each other nor cross the moral and legal red lines.