Entering the countdown to marriage, she suffered every day

During this quasi-divorce phase, Xue Qiao did not know how to spend these months

The quasi-divorce stage, which is a stage that all divorced couples have experienced, who owns the children after divorce, how to divide the income from the property, sell the property... This is exactly the stage that 30-year-old Xue Qiao (pseudonym) is going through, and she confides through the hot newspaper emotional station mailbox: What can I do these days?

The first love married but quarreled constantly

Yesterday morning, next to the fountain of Guanyin Bridge Pedestrian Street, stood a haggard-looking woman, wearing a sports coat and her face was yellow. "Stayed up late yesterday and didn't sleep well." She smiled awkwardly at the reporter.

Sitting down in a fast food restaurant, Xue Qiao was very uneasy and kept rubbing his hands. "We were each other's first love, and in our sophomore year, we came together." Xue Qiao said that both were classmates at Chongqing Normal University, and after graduation, she worked for an advertising agency in Yubei District, while Mr. Wei worked in computer sales. After work, the two began to argue constantly.

At the age of 26, the two entered into marriage and moved into a new house in Stone Bridge Shop, and after marriage, the habit of the two people who loved to argue did not improve. Today, my daughter is just over half a year old and always watches her parents argue endlessly.

"No matter what the little things are, we can quarrel." Xue Qiao said that he likes romance, likes flowers, buying flowers and perfume in the eyes of her husband is "waste", her husband likes to drink and watch balls at her brother's house, Xue Qiao feels that her husband is not responsible, she feels that her husband should come back after work to accompany herself and her children, but her husband feels that she is unreasonable.

Heartache the lack of growth of children

Last month, my husband said the word divorce. At that moment, she felt that life was lightless. "I thought it was all noisy and noisy, and it wouldn't really leave, and he also said angry words." But he took out a piece of paper very seriously, wrote down our common property, how to distribute it, let me give him the children and the house, he sold the house and gave me a sum of money, and from then on went his own way. After saying this, the husband packed up and left the house, and this month, he never returned.

Xue Qiao wanted custody of the child, but her husband refused, saying that Xue Qiao's family was ordinary and could not give the child a good life. Thinking that children who have not yet grown up can only grow up in single-parent families, Xue Qiao can't help but cry.

Facing the embarrassment of the mother-in-law alone

The original family of three suddenly became a quasi-divorced state, Xue Qiao said that she was not ready, but she had to force herself, facing an empty room every day.

Xue Qiao's mother-in-law often came to help bring her grandson and filed for divorce from her son, and her mother-in-law did not have any objections. "During the days when I was pregnant, I often quarreled with my mother-in-law because of my bad temper, and she was already dissatisfied with me." During the last period of time together, the mother-in-law was also very indifferent to her, just came to see her grandson. Every time I meet my mother-in-law, in addition to embarrassment, it is embarrassment. At the end of the day, she didn't know how to get along with her mother-in-law, and she might be a stranger when she saw her later. Even if it is a "sorry", she looks at her mother-in-law's back, it is like a fish in the throat.

What was once sweet became a shackle

Today, the husband has moved out for more than a month, and the two have almost no contact except to ask about the basic situation of the children. The family still has wedding photos taken when they were just married, and Xue Qiao lives in self-blame every day. "It may be that I have a bad temper and a strong temper, and a lot of quarrels can be avoided." Over the years, most of the time he was also accommodating me. Thinking of the place where he was immersed, Xue Qiao couldn't help but cry again.

During this quasi-divorce time, Xue Qiao resigned his job and concentrated on accompanying his children. The husband said that the house was sold and the two separated. "The house is at least a few months away from being sold, what can I do during this time?" She also thought about redemption, but her husband's determination had made her disheartened.

The reporter used Xue Qiao's WeChat to contact her husband, Mr. Wei, who said that he had had enough of Xue Qiao's emotional repeated torture. "Take advantage of the fact that the child is small, separate early, don't wait for the child to be older, the harm is greater." As for compounding, he said that even if Xue Qiao wanted to change, he would not consider it.

Reporters investigate

Quasi-divorce days

How it was spent

Quasi-divorce days, how did those who went through it spend it? Yesterday, the hot newspaper reporter interviewed 50 orbital tribes by telephone, QQ, face interview and other forms, their age is 26 to 32 years old, of which 32 orbital tribes said that re-entering life and forgetting that they are in a quasi-divorce state is the best way to spend this period.

Miss Kong, 28, works at a clothing store in Jiefangbei and once had a history of marriage. The time of divorce was almost the darkest years of her life. "The ex-husband asked me to keep my son, I refused, I wanted to take my son, so we didn't negotiate well, we stayed frozen, he lived outside, I lived with his parents." Miss Kong said that she went to work as usual, rented a house, and when the house was cleaned up, she moved out with her son, not noisy or noisy. When her husband returned, she had settled her life well, "no need to fight for anything, or want to save anything, since the other party has proposed to break up, then let nature take its course and return to her own life track, just like a new way of life." 」 ”

Expert advice

Calm your emotions and learn to be tolerant

Zhou Xiaoyan, a professor of psychology at Chongqing Normal University, said that since he has reached the step of divorce, during the quasi-divorce period, you should not just passively wait, you should give yourself a goal as soon as possible, is it to reconcile with your husband, or to start a new life from now on? If you choose the former, now there is also a chance to calm down, it is not easy for two people to establish a small family, why bother to run to each other, after the mood calms down, you can try to negotiate with your husband to keep this home. If you choose the latter, find yourself a job, and return to the life of a female white-collar worker with peace of mind, only if you jump out of the rhythm of quarrels and fill the time with the daily rhythm of life, life can restore peace. It's just that now everyone is still in the quagmire of negative emotions, no matter how you choose in the end, live your own life, don't hate each other, for the sake of children, please remember your good memories.

Reporter Hao Shujing Provided a picture by the interviewee