It's not the child's fault for rebellion, you need to do it in the face of a rebellious child – the next day

What to do on the first day about how to deal with rebellious children has been discussed earlier, and then talk about what to do the next day.

Day 2: Understand your rebellious child

Parents who do not learn how to understand what is actually happening in the depths of their rebellious children's hearts cannot grasp how to break this vicious circle of rebellion in their children.

The best way for parents to show love is to understand their children. When we think back to the painful experiences of our upbringing that we were not understood and the happy experiences of being understood, we notice that feeling understood provides us with emotional comfort. Prove to your rebellious child that you understand him and give him a sense of worth even if you disagree with his performance.

How do you understand your child? Learning to listen is key.

If we listen to our child's level of concentration and seriousness, just like listening to a great speaker, we are giving our child a precious gift. The reality is that many parents don't listen well to their children, they may not have the time, they may not be interested in their children's topics, there may be work to be busy with.... Of course, one-sided listening does not guarantee the effectiveness of listening, the key is that listening is to make you understand your child's intentions. The only way to really listen is to not take private messages and distractions, and not to rush to make up your mind about your child.

So how do you really listen?

Here are some tips for good listeners.

1. Maintain eye contact When listening to your child, keep your child in eye contact so that your child feels that you are interested in what he is saying.

2. Listening is to avoid opening parents are always accustomed to teaching their children with their mouths hanging in the air. When your child is talking, you'd better minimize interrupting your child. You can smile or pat your child and encourage them to express themselves. Parents interrupting their children can frustrate their children.

3. Let your child know that you are listening When your child is finished, you can repeat what he just said in another way to show that you have been listening carefully to his ideas.

4. Don't criticize your child It's important not to criticize your child. If parents often criticize their children, the children are slowly reluctant to communicate with their parents, because the children will change their criticism as soon as they speak, and finally they will not say anything at all.

The most important thing to listen to is to be patient

Patience is a virtue, and to truly listen to a rebellious child means to turn a blind eye to howls, curses, and the crash of doors. Truly listening to rebellious children means focusing on your child's fears, frustrations, frustrations, and emotional limitations.

Sadly, many parents of rebellious children are so devastated, hurt and angry that they are unable to calm down and listen to their children.

Understanding the rebellious child's struggles and putting more thought into them can actually reduce the child's rebellious behavior. The more your child feels your understanding, the less need to get your attention with rebellious behavior.

So what are the obstacles to understanding children?

1. Give unsolicited advice. For example, a lot of people have said things like: I think you should do what...

2. Talk about their own feelings, not their children's feelings

Like what:

I can't understand why you did this?

I'm really angry that you do that.

3. It is the child's pain that seems less important

It doesn't hurt to fall, don't cry.

There can be a lot of obstacles to understanding children. Sometimes it can be frustrating, so remembering the key points below can help you calm down and communicate with your child.

1. Rebellious children lack emotional maturity

2. Rebellious children need your love and approval.

3. Not understanding your child can trigger rebellious behavior.

4. Rebellious children feel misunderstood.

Rebellious children actually need the love and approval of their parents. They rebel because they are too hungry for love and approval. So no matter how angry your child is and how much he refuses to be thousands of miles away, don't forget to let him know how much you value and care for him.

Misunderstandings can lead to more rebellious behavior

Rebellious children are often misunderstood, which leads to more rebellious and distrustful parents. Let's take a look at some of the situations that can easily lead parents to misunderstand their children.

1. Expect your child to be able to do things he is not ready for. When the difference between our expectations of our children and what our children can actually bear is too great, we are actually creating disappointment for ourselves, and creating failures for our children will inevitably bring frustration to each other.

2. Go online for occasional bad behavior. Every child may occasionally exhibit negative behaviors. If parents cannot correctly treat this occasional negative behavior, they will completely deny the child, which will inevitably cause misunderstanding of the child.

3. Expect your child to meet your needs

4. Blame the child for his mistakes

It's easy to blame our children for their mistakes instead of trying and helping them. If we can do our best not to react to our children's mistakes, we can deal with the problem calmly.

5. Forget how much blame and criticism can hurt your child

Many parents do not approve of corporal punishment and do not know how much pain is caused by angry language, insults and blame. When a child is attacked by need, he thinks he has made a mistake. Their bluffing and rebellious behavior will make you think that they have not been hit in the face, but you are completely wrong.

6. Forget that children learn by example

Parents are the mirror of the child, the example of the child's learning, when the parents solve the child's problems with a calm mind, they are teaching the child how to become a calm person.

When parents understand the above behaviors that may lead us to misunderstand, parents also need to deal with negative thoughts. When dealing with rebellious children, don't let negative thoughts drag you into a quagmire that can't help yourself. Learn to use positive thoughts to counteract negative thoughts, use your heart to discover the child's advantages, and then infinitely enlarge, and constantly affirm the advantages, and the child will get better and better.

Starting today, learning to understand our rebellious children requires patience and persistence, although it is difficult, but please believe that you will make a non-rebellious child by making changes!