The English poet Dylan Thomas once wrote a famous poem, "Do not go gentle into that good night", written to his father who was critically ill.
In the poem, he is full of anger at death, full of pity for life, shouting for his dying father, not to give in to death easily, even at the last moment of life.
In his view, in the face of death, whether it is a wise, kind, violent or serious person, do not choose silence, vulnerability, sadness, sighing.
Do not meekly accept the arrangement of fate, to roar, to burn, to rage.
The poem's resentment and helplessness towards death are intertwined, showing a strong contrasting impact and also causing people to sigh and ponder infinitely.
And Douban movie this week's word of mouth list of the fourth place, the British film "So Good Night" is named from this poem.
The film tells the story of how the elderly in their late years face the late evil disease and long-term estrangement of family affection, how to regain the value of life and the courage to look directly at death in the few days left.
It once again leads us to delve into the inevitable topic of aging and death in human beings, and what everyone should learn - how to overcome the anxiety of death and peacefully walk through the final stages of life.
A revelation of "not knowing death, knowing life".
Ralph, a writer in his twilight years, lives with his second wife, Anna, in a quiet portuguese town.
He was talented but also uninhibited when he was young, especially did not like the "entanglement" of children.
So the ex-wife was pregnant and insisted on giving birth to a son, and Ralph quietly left, and the first meeting with his son Michael was when he was 5 years old.
In the decades since, Ralph has been using checks instead of himself to fulfill the responsibilities of a father, and the huge emotional gap between father and son is difficult to bridge.
Anna was unable to get the child despite Ralph's objections, and although she was reluctant, the two still had a deep relationship.
Now that their marriage is about to reach its 20th year, Ralph's life is coming to an end, he has neurogenic muscle atrophy, and it is late, with only 6 months left.
Ralph did not dare to inform Anna of her illness, for fear of causing her unnecessary worry and excessive sadness.
He made a secret will and made an appointment for his deathbed, and for the first time in a lifetime, he called his son Michael and asked him to come and meet him.
Although Michael accepted the invitation, he came to Portugal not alone but with his girlfriend Casey, and Ralph was greatly displeased, not only did he not say anything about his illness, but even blindly accused Michael of satirizing Casey, and was very dismissive of Casey's work and personality in the restaurant, making the rare father and son meet and break up in a quarrel.
While Ralph was troubled by illness and affection, the end-of-life counselor he had made an appointment arrived.
Ralph lied about the characters in his novels looking for material and engaged in an in-depth discussion with a counselor about aging and death.
When he heard that the counsellor could provide euthanasia services, he decisively took out his diagnosis and admitted that he was the one who needed the service.
At his insistence, the counselor injected him with an injection, and he slowly lost consciousness.
It wasn't until Anna, who had returned from church, struggled to shake him awake that Ralph realized he wasn't dead, just fell into a coma.
Anna senses Ralph's weakening, and she goes to Michael, hoping that the father and son will let go of their prejudices and dissolve the knot.
Ralph was surprised by Michael's second visit, but was finally able to calmly tell his story. The two finally let go of their preconceptions and gave each other recognition and appreciation, and Ralph even invited Michael to read his unfinished work and seek his advice.
Michael also brought him an even bigger surprise - Kathy was pregnant and Ralph was going to be a grandfather.
For the first time, Mrs. Lal rejoiced in the coming child, and waiting for the birth became the meaning and goal he could expect for the few remaining days of his life.
Although his condition deteriorated after a rescue, slowly moving from a wheelchair with limited mobility until he was paralyzed and bedridden, fortunately, he saw his grandson as scheduled, and a new life of fresh and lovely life was born.
The white-clad counselor arrives as promised, and Ralph, who is lying in a hospital bed, looks at him and smiles, and dies in Thomas's song "Don't Walk Gently into That Good Night."
[Do not walk meekly into the good night of rest, for the twilight one should also burn, and he should roar, and he should roar, and rebuke the extinction of the light.] ]
The French thinker La Roche-Fuucco said, "You can't look directly at the sun, nor can you look directly at death." ”
Although the sun is harsh, it can still be avoided, and death is a natural end that no one can escape by any means.
So the anxiety about death runs through people's lives almost unconsciously.
Relative to the vague denials of childhood and the vague panic of midlife crisis, adolescence and old age are the outbursts and peaks of death anxiety.
This is why adolescents are more violent, adventurous and suicidal.
As the elderly, anxiety about death is often closely linked to aging diseases.
Just like the protagonist of the film, Ralph, he was once a prominent figure in the literary world and a "playboy" in the eyes of a beautiful person, and now that he is old and sick, he no longer flashes amazing inspiration in his mind, his fingers can no longer flexibly write books, he is no longer comfortable with the areas he is familiar with and good at, and loss and panic slowly breed.
Even the thought that he would soon be immobile, waiting like a waster on the bed, was a pain and indignity that an arrogant person like him could not accept.
Although he was still calm after receiving the diagnosis report, the expression of anxiety was both explicit and implicit, and Ralph was obviously the latter.
He ostensibly made a will to arrange the aftermath, and even had the determination and intention to end his life early.
But the appearance of the polite end-of-life counselor revealed everything that lurked in his heart.
From the special lens, it is not difficult to find the suspicious identity of this consultant, he always comes with an illusory soft light, or appears from the reflection in the pool, he is silent, never drives, walks all the way, a neat white suit, and always has a polite smile on his face.
Interpret him as the "Grim Reaper", with traditional symbolism and romantic techniques.
Seeing him as a figurative externalization of Ralph's implicit anxiety is more psychological and practical.
Ralph's conversation with him about aging and death is a true portrayal of his heart—in his twilight years, his physical and intellectual past, his organs are gradually failing, and this kind of powerlessness is left to the counselor's mouth, and Ralph only half-conceals it.
In the past few years, he has faced his own aging, on the one hand, he has to face up to the serious existence of the problem, on the other hand, he has the hope of a recoverable fluke, until he is diagnosed with a terminal disease, the old man has to face the imminent death, and he suddenly falls into great anxiety.
In his struggle against it, he initially chose to compromise – euthanasia.
At first glance, this resolute decision to die seems to be full of courage and strength, but in fact it is a deep fear and escape, he chooses not to inform any of his relatives, to die without anyone present, and to end everything immediately at any cost, which shows the depth of being dominated by this negative emotion.
In the name of euthanasia, the mysterious counselor took Ralph to an "awakening experience", allowing him to use a "death" to trigger more self-awareness, realize the true existence of life, his meaning and responsibility to others, and form a sense of impetus and urgency for life as opposed to the end of death.
So, when Ralph woke up, he looked around the beautiful natural world again, listened to the happy calls of the birds, said "I'm sorry" to Anna, walked into the workshop again full of joy, and began to create again.
This rebirth-like experience was shocking to Ralph, but the scope was limited to the individual, and the timeliness of anxiety confrontation was inevitably short-lived.
At this time, Michael appeared, and his affirmation and appreciation of his father, as well as his recognition of the irreplaceable and important influence he had in his own life, made Ralph see his own "wave effect".
This influence, in a broad sense, is the process by which a writer's contribution to society and its readers effectively disseminates his own values. In a narrow sense, it is a father who passes on life and meaning to his son, which will live in the genes and memories of future generations, breaking the "sense of finiteness, impermanence and meaninglessness" in death anxiety.
And this has become a good opportunity for father and son to resolve decades of estrangement.
After that, Michael proposed that the two complete new creations together, and even more materialized the inheritance of this invisible spirit, further providing new impetus and value for Ralph's few remaining lives.
But in fact, we find that the motivation that ultimately supported Ralph's struggle to survive at the brink of being rescued was the "intimate connection" of his unborn grandson, the bloodline.
The reconciliation with Michael and Casey, and the honesty with Anna, let his last days surround the warmth of his family, and healthy intimacy can greatly resist the loneliness of death and bring more sense of belonging.
For Ralph, at this point, it is no longer how to accept death, but how to die well, and the expectation of newborns makes the final process of his own life seem to become fresh again.
So in a quiet afternoon when Ralph had hugged his lovely grandchild, the counselor visited again, and this time without any questions or requests, Ralph closed his eyes calmly and contentedly, without regret or even with happiness.
This is what the film wants to convey, and it is also advocated by the psychiatric expert and existential therapist Owen Adam, through "awakening experience", "concept" (fluctuating influence) and intimate connection, to overcome the anxiety of death and make the best farewell to the world.
The film was released on June 22, 2017, but the protagonist, Ralph, was played by John Hurt, who died on January 27 of that year.
This film became his last work, which fit the theme in the dark, and walked through the last time of his life with an "untmiable" attitude.
And "not docile" is not necessarily a fierce struggle, but not passive, not withdrawn, not giving up and not avoiding.
Like every freshman day, be positive and peaceful, serious and calm.
May each of us enter the "good night", even if the body is thin and boneless, but the soul can secretly celebrate, clap hands and revel.