Text: Jing Ma
From 2019 to 2020, the research team of Central China Normal University conducted field research in six provinces, including Shandong, Guangdong, Hunan, Hubei, Guangxi, and Sichuan, and found that the incidence of school bullying was 32.4%.
On average, one out of every three children has been bullied at school, and there are three main types of school bullying:
The first type is verbal violence: for example, by giving a child a nickname or making a personal attack.
The second type is physical violence: for example, using physical advantages to hit weaker classmates.
The third type is psychological violence: they will use verbal behavior to cause mental and psychological pressure on other students.
Some less serious verbal violence is often ignored by parents, and children do not explain too much to their parents, and when children want to find their parents, it is generally physical violence. #头条创作挑战赛#
For example, the child will say to the parents: Mom, so-and-so hit me today. At this time, many parents will say to their children: If he beats you, you won't fight back, you will fight back! will even hate to say to his children: Why are you so stupid, let people beat you here, you beat them back!
Many famous psychologists have mentioned this problem, for example, Li Meijin said: When the child is beaten, you let him fight back, in fact, it is very wrong, if your child is so strong, and others beat him and he dares to fight back, then he will most likely not be bullied on campus.
After all, the perpetrator of school bullying will actually bully the soft and fear the hard, it is because your child seems to be weak, he will hit your child, after your child is beaten, he is already very afraid, you still ask him to fight back, knowing that the child can not do something, and still forcing him to do it, parents are actually inflicting psychological violence on the child again.
Of course, there are also some children who are oppressed by their parents or guided by their parents: if you are beaten by others, and you fight back and win, your parents will reward you with something, then the child may muster up the courage to really fight back.
But this time the child felt very excited, it turned out that bullying others was such a cool thing, and it may become another extreme, that is, it became a perpetrator, that is, what we call a dragon slayer boy will eventually become an evil dragon.
Therefore, psychologists praise: after the child is beaten or bullied, the parent asks him to beat back, it is really a big mistake, and in the end there will be two consequences, one is to put more pressure on the child, and the other will make the child change from being bullied to being a perpetrator.
What should you do when your child comes back and tells you that he has been bullied by his classmates? These 5 points are important
Number one: Never criticize your child
Because after the child was bullied, he was actually very aggrieved and sad in his heart, and at this time, his parents also said that he was not angry, stupid, and could not run, which was the second layer of harm for the child.
We must know that when facing the child, we must deal with the child's emotions first and then deal with the problem, we must comfort the child, and hug our aggrieved kitten, do you feel sad? Mom hugs. Let your child know that no matter what happens, his parents are there for him, so that he can have the courage to face bullying at school.
Number two: Listen to your child's inner feelings
Ask your child what he or she thinks. How does it feel? Understand your child's mood and let him know that no matter what happens, his parents are his strong backing.
Point 3: We must seek justice for our children
When a child is bullied for the first time on campus, parents have to find the school and even find the other parent's parents to seek justice for their children, that is, parents stand up and tell the world a signal that my children are not easy to bully, and once they bully my children, they will also seek justice for their children.
Number 4: Make your child stronger
For example, if you want your child to learn some taekwondo, boxing and other sports, the child's body is strong, the child's spirit is full, and naturally no one dares to bully.
Point 5: Tell your child that you are the most important thing
For example, if a child is bullied because he has money, and his classmates ask him for money, then parents can tell him: money is not as important as my child, you give him the money, and then we go home and talk about it, and Mom and Dad will help you find justice.
Be sure to tell your child to protect yourself at the first time, to learn to run, and to teach your child that the first thing to do when encountering danger is not to face difficulties, but to turn around and run to protect yourself.
What should I do if I face bullying at school? Did you know?
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