There is a saying that says:
Money is not responsible for making you happy, and money does not necessarily bring you security, but it carries a signal of love.
In the relationship between men and women, money is the most intuitive embodiment of the flow of feelings, and it is an important basis for love and non-love.
In the face of women, men have a set of spending logic that cannot be explained, and women must know it.
One
Men don't want to spend money for you because they think you're not worth it
There is a female reader who sent a private message backstage, telling her grievances in the relationship.
After ending her first marriage, she met a boyfriend, and the two of them got along well in all aspects, and there would be gifts or small red envelopes on holidays, but there was one thing that made her very uncomfortable:
Her boyfriend never took the initiative to transfer money to her.
In the hearts of female readers, the two people get along very well, and the relationship reaches a certain stage, so the man should naturally take the initiative to give her a part of the money every month. Her ex-husband handed over the financial power as soon as the two of them officially confirmed their relationship.
The female reader said that her ideal state is that a man would call her 5,000 a month, but at present, let alone 5,000, a man doesn't even have 1,000. Except for a little red envelope on holidays, there is nothing else.
The relationship between the two of us has reached this level, why didn't he say anything at all? handing over a part of the economy, this can be regarded as a statement of nomination for the relationship between two people to a certain extent.
The female reader felt aggrieved and angry, and felt that her boyfriend did not have her in his heart.
It's hard to know for sure whether the female reader's boyfriend has her in his heart, but what is certain is that this man does not love her as much as she imagined.
Under what circumstances would a man be willing to take the initiative to give money to a woman? When he felt that women were worth it.
Men who are unwilling to spend money for you have already studied your value thoroughly in their hearts. He decided in his heart that his efforts to you could not be exchanged for the desired benefits, so he was reluctant to spend money for you.
Two
Enhance your own value, and men will be more willing to spend money for you
Xiaomin has been a full-time mother for three years, and during these three years of full-time work, although her husband did not show obvious dislike, now financially, he seems a little stingy.
Once on Mother's Day, Xiao Min wanted to buy a brand lipstick, but she just mentioned it euphemistically, and the man's opposition came in advance: You don't go out to work, and you don't need to socialize, why do you buy such a good lipstick? Let's buy a domestic flat replacement, there are many places to spend money at home.
Xiao Min choked up for a moment, because men have always been very willing to spend money on themselves and their children.
Later, Xiao Min made up her mind to go out to work, and then improved herself while working, she got several weighty certificates behind her, and studied for on-the-job graduate students, both in terms of income and connections, it has gone up a level.
The more Xiao Min can make money, the more willing the man is to Xiao Min, and on several festivals, he forcibly gives Xiao Min a big red envelope, asking Xiao Min to buy clothes, jewelry, and cosmetics.
His mantra has also become this one: You have to be kind to yourself.
A passage written by writer Su Qin:
The best way to love someone is to manage yourself well and give each other a high-quality lover. It's not that if you try to be nice to someone, that person will love you desperately. Worldly feelings inevitably have a realistic side: you are valuable, and your contribution is valued.
The more shiny and valuable a woman becomes, the more a man will cherish you and be more willing to give everything for you.
Because he knows that your excellence will bring him greater value.
The psychology of marriage and love proves that the essence of any relationship is the exchange of values, exchange what you have, exchange what others have, make up for each other, and satisfy each other.
There is no love in the world for no reason. In a long-term relationship, what you want to get, you have to think about what you can deliver.
Remember, a man is willing to spend money for you, he doesn't necessarily love you. A man is not willing to spend money for you, he must not love you.