Today continues with the previous part, "Before meeting Sartre, Beauvoir was already thinking about independent love| Beauvoir's Open Relationships (1) continues to share the true open relationship between Sartre and Beauvoir, as well as Beauvoir's emotional life.
Beauvoir met Sartre in a study group recommended by his lover Mahé.
Sartre enjoyed the best education in Paris since he was a child, when he was a well-known star figure in Paris because of his philosophical skills and love of jokes. It also made him a little arrogant.
When they first met, there was no immediate spark of love, and Beauvoir still liked to be with Maher.
It was only later, when Mahe left Paris because he had not passed the exam, that Sartre took advantage of the situation.
Movie "Lovers of the Flower God Cafe"
After some time of study and discussion, Sartre's knowledge had left a good impression on Beauvoir, so Sartre pursued her further and said to her: "From now on, I will always protect you". Sartre encouraged, accepted, and indulged her, and soon they were often learning from each other, and they were all fascinated by each other. They found that there were many similarities between them, in addition to philosophy, but also literature and life dreams, and they also had a tacit understanding.
During the 13 days of knowing Sartre, Beauvoir wrote in his diary: "He understood me, he could see through me, and I was fascinated by him." ”
They used to meet and chat every morning in the Jardin du Luxembourg or in a small café – a habit that lasted for 51 years, and the depth of their relationship can be imagined. Their interaction also accelerated the process of becoming philosophers with each other.
His dealings with Sartre also put Beauvoir in a dilemma.
Physically, Maher is more attractive to her, and he "can make her fascinated by just caressing a woman's neck";
Ideologically, Sartre is more attractive and understands her better;
At the same time, she did not forget the goodness of her original lover Jacques (she later rekindled her old feelings when she returned to Paris to meet him).
She believes that she loves Sartre only because of what Sartre brought her, and that Ma'er is because of him as a person, so Mae is the "essential love". Therefore, she felt that her growing affection for Sartre did not represent a betrayal of Maher or Jacques. She is loving these three people in different ways, it's just that she doesn't know "how to reconcile her love".
Beauvoir
Later, after a few days of reflection, she decided to love several men at the same time in different ways:
"I want to love every lover as the only one." I will enjoy what every lover can give me; I will give him all that I can give him. In this case, who can condemn me? ”
She wrote in her diary that you can't give up on yourself to become this image because of what your lover wants you to look like, and one should only "give what she can give."
Although under the current single-minded values, her behavior is likely to be condemned and considered a slut, but this spirit is still very worthy of appreciation.
It can also be seen from this that not only men will be amorous, they will like the new and dislike the old, this is actually human nature. As long as women are given the opportunity and freedom, they will do the same.
In the summer of 1929, Beauvoir and Sartre planned their future on the lawn.
They planned to write together, travel together, work hard, and live a free life. At the same time, Sartre said that he wanted to keep his body free, "he can give her a lot, a lot, but he can't give all of himself to Beauvoir", because only then can he better achieve a great future.
At this point, it is easy to think that Sartre forced Beauvoir to accept his debauchery. But in fact, as you can see from the previous article, Beauvoir has had several objects before this, and has decided to love different men in different ways.
Later, on October 14, 1929, they went for a walk together in the Jardin du Luxembourg, and it was that afternoon that their discussions made a pact for their open relationship, which sparked countless discussions and imitations from later generations.
They made a two-year contract in which they could have other lovers with each other, but needed to tell each other everything; there was "essential love" between them, but at the same time they could experience "accidental love."
Beauvoir initially thought it was a bit embarrassing to "need to tell the other side everything," but later found out that it was actually a liberation, because Sartre could provide her with more objective advice. They "feel comfortable being able to fully open themselves up like a book to each other," and that trust makes them feel comfortable." Beauvoir derives from this an "absolute, never-ending sense of security."
Beauvoir and Sartre
When it comes to open relationships, many people feel that it will have a negative impact on the relationship. But as you can see from their examples, open relationships built on deep connections may feel more secure and free —at least not worse than hypocritical one-on-one relationships that cheat on each other.
Later, Beauvoir was once blinded by Sartre's love. They traveled together in a shared spiritual world, talking about philosophy, literature, and often going to galleries and cinemas. But even so, Sartre was still only a part of Beauvoir's life. In her diary, you can still see her feelings for Maher and Jacques.
(Next Part Continues)
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