The picture comes from the network, and the picture and text are irrelevant
The netizen letter said:
My husband works in the field all year round and only returns home every year on National Day and Spring Festival. Although I also have a job and live with my in-laws (who have also played a regulatory role in helping me take care of my children), I still feel that life is a bit boring without enjoying the nourishment of love. In this case, I started chatting online frequently. To tell the truth, even if it is difficult to find a reliable lover, or because the other party's economic foundation is not good, or because the other party's looks are not good, or because the other party wants to invest in real feelings, I do not want to affect the stability of the marriage. The final encounter with the current lover is to feel: in many ways can make me satisfied, the key is that he also has a family.
We went to the hotel the first time we met and have since maintained the frequency of seeing each other twice a week. Although we "don't say love" between us, we will occasionally eat together, or he will buy me some clothes for the change of seasons.
A few days ago, when I was shopping with my lover, I was bumped into by his wife, who slapped me more than a dozen times in public, and he just stood aside without squeaking, and did not even persuade a sentence of "don't fight." Afterwards, although he apologized to me for this incident, I still felt that there was no need to maintain the relationship. Of course, he didn't do anything to hold back when I proposed to break up.
After this special experience, I often think of the time with my husband: in the years when my husband did not go to work in the field, he was very careful with me. Because my husband's job mobility is relatively strong and my job is relatively stable, it is a bit unrealistic for me to quit my job and follow my husband to "wander".
I'm just an ordinary person who would love to have a relationship that couples always have. Would like to ask, in this case, can I divorce my husband? Because I also don't want to be a lover with a family man, I would love to have a lover who can be with me every day.
Muzi Li emotional analysis:
Probably most couples can see each other every day, so they can't experience the pain of so-called lovesickness, nor can they feel how much loneliness is suffering. Inevitably, when your husband has just gone to work in a foreign country, you will also hint to yourself that your husband is also separated from you because of the necessity of work, in this case, you will use strong self-control to ensure fidelity to marriage. However, after a long time, you can't bear it a little.
Regarding love, the saddest thing is that I obviously have people I like, but I can only talk to the people I like across the screen. After a long time, it is inevitable that I can't bear it.
As you said, you are just an ordinary person who only wants to have a regular marriage, so that you can understand your husband's helplessness that he can only go home twice a year because of work, but you may not be able to accept the cruelty of this matter.
I believe that during this period you have heard too many "your husband is not easy" remarks, but there is no empathy in this world. Among them, some long-distance relationships, or left-behind women, or people whose husband and wife are separated from each other, will not be able to survive the so-called loneliness and eventually fail to keep their loyalty to their feelings. You're also just one of those in that group.
I don't want to criticize you from the moral high ground, but I have some sympathy for you: because you are not a person who wants to make your private life chaotic, even if you are looking for a lover, you also want to find a reliable and safe one, so that you are also carefully selected, and finally finalized a lover. The point is, you've overlooked an important point: in the eyes of the other person's wife, you are a bad woman who destroys the stability of the other person's family; or, from the perspective of an outsider, to examine your lover, a man who cheats on his wife, how good can he be?
When you are dating a lover, bumped into by his wife, in the face of his wife slapping you, how do you think he should respond, after all, he is the wrong party, and can only choose not to squeak, it is easier to get his wife's forgiveness when he apologizes later, after all, when he opened an extramarital affair with you, he did not have the idea of divorce.
It's just that this incident makes you feel that you have been hurt and humiliated a lot, and feels that this kind of drama and taking the feelings you need is not interesting, so you terminate the relationship. In fact, such a relationship should never have begun. Originally, similar emotions are playing with fire, which eventually leads to their own injury, which is the result that should be achieved.
In the current situation, you still think about your husband's goodness, but you don't want to live without your husband by your side, so you are more inclined to divorce. However, when faced with divorce, there will be many obstacles, including your children and how to divide your property. But the truest voice in your heart tends to divorce, so stop deluding yourself, just find the right time to put your loneliness and suffering in front of your husband. Inevitably, your husband is also suffering from lovesickness in a different place, and the nature of his work is that the number of times he returns home every year is very small, and the workplace is not fixed. Perhaps, your husband can't accept the result of the divorce willingly, but he will certainly understand your difficulties and eventually let you go.
In life, not only do migrant workers face the embarrassment of living separately from their wives, but also some regular workers in the construction system or some special types of workers will also face the embarrassment of living separately from their wives. In this case, they also know that they are ashamed of their wives. In this case, it is not only the person's self-consciousness and self-control or even conscience that is tested. However, not everyone can withstand the torment of loneliness when the couple is small and separated. Therefore, when you are not able to suffer in such a marriage, divorce may be the best choice. Regarding the choice, it is bound to involve gains and losses, and the only advice I give is to ask you to make a prudent decision after some deliberation.
Muzi Li life insights:
When we are the suggesters, when we are advising others, we may be able to do the first thing, but when something happens to us, we may not be able to be open-minded. Because when we face choices, we do not only need a rational answer, but also have a lot of emotional involvement, and because of this, we are very hesitant every time we face a major choice.
There is a saying called: Do not persuade others to be good without suffering. But who can really do not say behind the scenes, or can avoid not being said behind the backs of others? So, more often than not, we all have to be true to our hearts. As for how outsiders evaluate your experience, there is no need to argue, just seek to be open in your heart. Walking on the road and looking at the scenery, most of the scenery is a smiling or calm face, but if you have a full understanding of them, you will find that in fact, everyone has their own difficulties.