I have a friend I don't know very well, I rarely contact her, but I know every relationship of her, falling in love, sweet, quarreling, getting together, breaking up, etc., I know it, because everything is written in the circle of friends.
Her circle of friends is like a love record book, and each one is related to love. What did her boyfriend do to make her happy, said something that made her angry, and asked everyone to comment on it.
The other day, she said that the first time she went to her boyfriend's house to meet her parents, the other parents actually only gave 200 yuan in red envelopes, she felt that it was too little, it seemed that the other family did not pay attention to her, and asked everyone what they thought.
I replied to her privately and said to her boyfriend, don't send a circle of friends, make everyone know, boyfriend and family feel that they have lost face, which is not conducive to family harmony in the future.
She said that she did not think too much, is that she felt that she was not taken seriously, and when her temper came up, she sent a circle of friends, and she quickly deleted this one, after all, she did not mean to break up, nor did she want to leave hidden dangers for future life.
But this relationship is still yellow, the boyfriend saw this circle of friends broke out, asked her why she can't say it well every time she has something to say, but to send a circle of friends, write some small essays to crusade against him, he doesn't want to fall in love in her girlfriend's comments.
She was broken up, sad and crying, and sent her boyfriend's questioning words to the circle of friends to tell her about her grievances.
Girl, it doesn't matter what others say about him and how they look at your feelings, there's no need to say everything.
Adults, to control their emotions. When you are happy, you will sprinkle dog food, and if you are unhappy, you will cry openly and ask for an explanation, so that emotional, good feelings will also be tossed and broken.
There was a study at Harvard University: Over a 75-year period, researchers tracked the lives of 724 people, documented their working families and their health, and found that what helped a person really achieve success was not money and fame, but having a good and stable mood.
For love to be successful, it also needs stable emotions.
Some people say that they don't like an equal life, they want to talk about vigorous love, so they are natural and eager for the other party to use their lives to prove that he loves himself, but this is just a fantasy of love. The so-called vigorousness is the companionship that is not abandoned, no matter what the situation is, to tolerate each other and not to give up, rather than holding flowers downstairs in the company today and shouting that I love you, nor is it kneeling down on one knee in front of everyone to show loyalty.
In love, people who fall into emotions and can't come out, most of them lack love, and they need a lot of love to fill the gap in their hearts.
Xiao Hong, a female writer of the Republic of China, has a bumpy life, she has always wanted to be herself, but she has not been able to do herself well, she has been pursuing love all her life, but she has been hurt by love many times, she said: "The biggest pain and misfortune in my life is because I am a woman."
As a woman, of course, it is not the reason for her tragic fate, and there are many talented and happy women in her contemporaries.
She obviously has a talent, but she wants to give her fate to the men around her, all of which seem to be entrusted to non-people, but it is actually because she believes in love and relies on love too much.
Xiao Hong was so eager to get love, because when she was a child, her family gave her very little love, she lived with her father and stepmother, she once wrote that her relationship with her father was cold, the only person who loved her was her grandfather, after the death of her grandfather, Xiao Hong wrote: "I think, when my grandfather died in the world, there was no one who sympathized with me anymore." The grandfather died in the world, and the rest were some murderous people. ”
Love, warmth, and freedom are what Xiao Hong wants, and she has been pursuing these all her life.
But to seek outward, after all, is to be disappointed, people can only ask inward, what is missing to make up for what, their own healing is the most reliable.
Jung said that everyone has their own dark side, and we must constantly face our own shadow, because only by knowing, understanding and accepting our own shadow can we find new strength and live freely and truly.
In love, don't think about relying on each other to heal yourself, that will only hurt your feelings.
Yi Nengjing reflected on the reasons for her divorce from Haring, saying: In the previous marriage, I was like a driftwood, and I hope that he will solve all the pain of my original family and my confused relationship between men and women in this industry. But why, he is not your doctor, people are here to talk to you about love and find a wife, not to treat you!
Love is an adult game, want to be happy, have to mature on your own, manage emotions, deal with relationships, rather than hoping for feelings, find an object to fill the heart, help you fill the inner void.