When I took the fawn to the park yesterday, I saw a mother nagging her daughter who was full of lovelessness.
The reason is that her daughter doesn't want to eat fruit!
？？？what？
- Mother Deer
Text | A corner of the heart
Source | Daughter Pie (insight into its account)
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Actor Sun Li shared on Weibo that she watched a documentary of a high-sugar life in which a 6-year-old boy was anesthetized and had 7 teeth extracted because he ate too much sugar.
The scene of tooth extraction made Sun Li feel painful, and then she gave this clip to Wait and Xiaohua to see, and the result was very unexpected, the two children brushed their teeth at night that called a careful.
Sun Li felt that she could take it out as a textbook demonstration, and she even came up with a more brilliant idea, that is, to print out several key pictures in the film and paste them on the bathroom mirror.
Reminding two children to brush their teeth carefully every day is not only more useful than her nagging sooner or later, but also allowing children to understand how serious the consequences of not brushing their teeth carefully are!
Some netizens immediately asked the address of this documentary, and she said that she wanted to use this method to cure her brother.
Subsequently, a series of netizens followed the post, all of which expressed their desire to shock their children.
Some people also shared that the little red face and small blue face she showed her son, these two days of eating rainbow candy did not dare to eat recklessly, the child told her that she was afraid of the two worms playing on the slide on his teeth.
After all, children are children, they will only do what they want to do, do not understand the consequences of some things can not afford at all, parents do not let them do, and may even cry and howl.
And the more effective way than to say that teaching is that parents show the consequences to their children, so that children can clearly and clearly see whether this thing can be done and whether the consequences can be borne by themselves.
Wei Kunlin said in the "Family Education Treasure Book" that what affects children's growth is not criticism, but the wrong method of criticism.
If the method is correct, the child will not only not be frustrated, but will grow up as a result.
Parents blindly accuse and criticize, far less than let the children see the consequences themselves, they will be more conscious of making the right choice.
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It is more effective to show the consequences than to preach
In the book "Growing Up with Your Heart" edited by Liu Yan, there is such a story, the son Liang Liang eats watermelon, but the watermelon juice is everywhere in his clothes.
Instead of blaming LiangLiang, his mother took him a basin and told him that his clothes were made like this and that he should wash them himself. But Liang Liang couldn't wash his clothes at all, so his mother showed him first.
Liang Liang found the pleasure of washing clothes for a while, and began to carry the clothes around the basin in circles, and let the clothes fall into the basin like a free fall, so that the water splashed everywhere again.
At this time, his mother reminded him that he could not get his clothes wet anymore, otherwise he would have to wash his clothes again. Liang Liang immediately retracted his movements, quickly washed his clothes, and dragged the water on the ground clean.
Children will inevitably do something wrong, such as a child overturning a water cup, parents can say: "Wipe the water clean with a rag." "The next time the child will be careful to take the water cup and avoid spilling the water."
Let the child see the consequences and take on certain responsibilities, far more effective than parents blaming the child, and then the parents to clean up, the child will be easier to remember the lesson.
This is the "law of natural consequences" proposed by the French education theorist Rousseau, which refers to the fact that when the child has made a mistake or made a mistake in behavior, the parents do not give the child too much criticism.
Instead, let the child bear the consequences directly caused by the behavior negligence or mistake, so that the child can feel unpleasant or even painful psychological punishment while bearing the consequences, causing the child's self-remorse, consciously making up for the mistake, and correcting the mistake.
According to the behaviorist master Skinner, behavior is controlled by its consequences, and the consequences of the behavior itself constitute the reinforcement of the behavior, affecting the possibility of the behavior reappearing, and the behavior that can bring good consequences may reappear, and vice versa.
Through intuitive methods such as pictures, as well as the scene presented naturally, the parent lets the child see the consequences of his actions, and he will naturally understand how to do it correctly.
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How can the Natural Consequences Method be applied more effectively?
The natural consequence method is divided into positive and negative, and the combination of the two methods will be of great benefit to the child's growth.
The first is the positive method, in which we tell the child in advance about the "pleasant" results that our desired behavior may bring, so that the child can overcome difficulties in order to obtain a "pleasant" result.
A few days ago, the college entrance examination scores were announced, "national talented woman" Wu Yishu was admitted to Tsinghua University with a score of 613 points, I told my son who likes ancient poetry this news, he asked me expectantly: "Mom, can I also take the Qinghua examination?" ”
I said yes, Sister Wu Yishu is like you, she has loved ancient poetry since she was a child, and she is also the overall champion of the second season of the "Chinese Poetry Conference", you can use your sister as a model to learn.
My son immediately picked up the "Ancient Poems for Children" and began to recite them carefully, and I believe that my son, who likes ancient poems, will also use this momentum in his studies in the future and strive to enter the ideal university in his heart.
This method can let the child understand what the desired behavior is, let him experience the joy of working hard to get the desired result, and encourage the child to continue to work hard.
This is similar to the child's lofty ideals, but this kind of result that the child can see will give the child a more intuitive motivation to work hard and make progress.
The second is the negative law, which tells the child in advance about the "unpleasant" results that our undesirable behavior may bring, so that the child understands and bears the consequences of inappropriate behavior, so as to help the child avoid wrong behavior.
What should I do if my child is always lost?
Girlfriend Xiaomin has had a headache for a long time for this problem of her son Lele, lele from the first grade, Xiaomin has to help him check his school bag every night.
Otherwise, the next day Lele's homework must have forgotten or not been brought, or the stationery box could not be found.
On the first day of the fourth grade, Xiao Min clearly told Le Le that he would sort out his school bag in the future.
As expected, the next day Lele forgot to bring the language book, and when he came home at noon, he complained that Xiao Min did not remind him, and Xiao Min said that his mother told you that if you forgot, you would have to bear the consequences.
Le Le really understood that he had to bear the consequences for losing everything, and did not want to be criticized by the teacher next time, only if he carefully checked his school bag every day.
The consequences that the child can bear, the parents let the child bear it once, and he remembers the lesson.
And some of the consequences can not be seen for the time being, parents can use video or picture form to show him, the child will immediately correct the error.
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Parents set an example to help their children grow
Although the "natural consequence method" is more effective for children than parents' preaching, if parents say one set and do one set, children will still not buy it, after all, parents are the most intuitive "mirror" of children.
We all know that children can not play mobile phones, not only easy to damage vision, more likely to play addictive to affect learning, but many parents play with mobile phones, even children lost do not know.
Some time ago, a teenage boy wandered at the entrance of the Nanjing subway station, was found by the police and brought back to the police office, this boy named Le Le opened his mouth and said: "I have run more than 10 times!" ”
It is because his parents are addicted to mobile phones and do not care about him at all, he wants to use the way of running away from home to attract the attention of his parents, just imagine what reason do such parents have not to let their children play mobile phones?
Susan Foward said in "Original Family" that inactive parents shirk their responsibilities to their children, so that children lose the role model of positive roles, and children's emotions will be difficult to develop healthily.
What parents ask their children to do, they can take the lead in showing their children and giving them a sample; what parents do not allow their children to do, they should not do first, so that children will not be psychologically unbalanced.
Under the guidance of parents' demonstration, the two "natural consequence methods" of positive and negative will play a better role in children, help children grow up healthily, and develop in an all-round way, and the future will be better.