Text @ afterglow This is the 232nd original of Qing Huaixia
In my freshman year, after a boy asked a friend to ask me for WeChat, we chatted for a few days, and when he learned that I usually smoked, he said a sentence that I still can't forget:
"Alas, I didn't expect you to be this kind of person."
I replied to him, "What do you think I am?" ”
"Originally, in my heart, you were the kind of mature and cold goddess image, but I didn't expect you to smoke."
I was dumbfounded, didn't say anything more, and his enthusiasm for talking to me every day came to an abrupt end after learning that I smoked.
01. I really smoke.
That's right, I really smoke.
People generally refer to the kind of well-behaved and sensible people who are both good and good at learning as "other people's children", then I should be "other people's bad boys".
I always tell myself this in my subconscious, and probably, these habits of mine prevent me from associating with such glossy words as "good girl."
I remember the shocked expression I still remember when my college roommate first saw the cigarette on my desk.
"You actually smoke!"
To be honest, although I am used to hearing such words, at the moment, I am still a little embarrassed in my heart, like a child who has done something wrong and been punctured.
I lowered my head and didn't dare look them in the eye.
"Ah, yeah, I started smoking in my junior year of high school."
Yes, it was the third year of high school, which was a year that experienced a lot.
Broken love breakups, death of relatives, college entrance examination pressure... In short, there are many, many things that almost broke me.
So I began to rely on the feeling that nicotine brought to me, not because of the novelty, but because it could make me feel relaxed.
Once I was hiding in the corridor smoking a cigarette, and I happened to be bumped into by my mother who was out shopping for vegetables;
I was trying to make up a reasonable excuse, but she didn't say a word, so she grabbed the cigarette in my hand and threw it on the ground, and then slapped me hard.
I couldn't bear the pain and didn't dare to cry.
"Do you know that the girls who smoke are all immodest?"
In fact, I can understand my mother's mood, after all, the common idea that this society passes on to everyone is:
"Good girls shouldn't smoke."
It doesn't matter if this setting is correct, what matters is that when everyone is fueling this idea, you will think that you really should do it.
I also wanted to try to quit smoking after that day, but it was really difficult.
So I simply thought, forget it, then be a bad girl.
So for a long time after that, I set myself up with the attribute of "bad girl".
02. How do you think women smoke?
I saw a question like this before: "How do you think about women smoking?" ”
There is an answer below: "It is not clear whether the girl who smokes is bad, but the good girl must not smoke." ”
Before someone photographed an actress smoking, the following comments are: "The image of the goddess has collapsed."
There is even a marketing number that wrote an article for this:
A certain actress smokes and drinks, why does a certain male star marry her?
Seeing this, I can't help but feel a little funny, but also a little helpless.
So gradually I began to think about one thing, is it really a shameful thing for women to smoke?
Why can men smoke be taken for granted, while women smoke to the extreme?
Why, now, people have to equate "smoking girls" and "bad girls"?
Being born as a human being, everyone has some rights, smoking can only be said to be a habit of life, on the contrary, the kind of people who look at these with prejudice are really worth reflecting on.
Although the times are progressing, society has begun to pay attention to the idea of "equality for all", but in fact, people's consciousness is still subject to traditional concepts;
Women have certain behaviors that only a few people can do, that is, they are different, and they should be blamed.
But in fact, "minority" does not necessarily mean wrong, and "majority" does not necessarily mean right.
There was a very hot saying before: "I smoke and drink and have tattoos, but I know I'm a good girl." ”
In fact, the external factors such as smoking and drinking are not the criteria for judging whether we are a good girl, on the contrary, whether a person is kind in heart and whether he treats people sincerely is the most important.
There was a very good senior who pursued me, and I told my friend that I smoked and drank and didn't deserve him, and my friend sent me two consecutive "You are so good!" "Why not?
I was very impressed at the time!
What the senior said to me when he confessed made me feel that I was actually a very good girl.
Taking leave of absence from class to accompany a friend to the hospital to see a doctor for a day, she deliberately sent a Weibo.
Slowly, some people around me who know me use the word "good" for me, making me feel that in fact, I am not as "bad" as I thought, and I am also a person who deserves to be treated well.
So I slowly reconciled with myself, and I accepted that people still had prejudices against me smoking, but I didn't accept them calling me "bad girls" with their own prejudices.
Why does the mere fact that I smoke deny me all my other virtues?
I was a good girl, even though I smoked.
This is a phrase I often tell myself later.
03. I'm trying to quit smoking.
I am now working very hard to quit smoking, because smoking is a bad habit after all, which can lead to many diseases and is very harmful to the body.
According to statistics, the risk of cervical cancer in women who smoke is 80% higher than that of women who do not smoke, the risk of breast cancer is 40% higher than that of non-smokers, and the chance of developing ovarian cancer is as high as 28 times.
The purpose of my writing this article is not to encourage girls to smoke, but to call on people to break stereotypes about women.
If you have a smoking girl around you, I hope you can advise her to quit smoking, because smoking really has a great impact on the girl's body, but I hope you don't look at her with colored eyes and alienate her.
I hope that this society can be less prejudiced and more friendly.
Good night.
Author: Yu Wen. Image: Originated from the sugar network, invaded and deleted.