When the weather turns colder, order a hot drink in your familiar café and get ready to get some work done. Without wearing headphones to go out, my thoughts were led away from time to time by the conversation of the two big brothers next to me, from the US election to the listing of Ma Yun, from strategic investment to equity incentives, no hundreds of millions of them were not satisfied with the bullskin they bragged.
The two quiet girls on the left table were each tapping on their computers, sometimes quietly discussing. Looking closely, it seems that a girl is writing the thesis in English, and their topics range from non-violent non-cooperation to Arendt's totalitarian concept, which can neutralize the noise of the two big brothers next to them.
At this time, the waiter brought the drink over, I said thank you, he looked at me with a smile, and there was an unexpected spirit in his eyes, not the kind of service cowardice, but a firm and confident sincere feedback.
In most stereotypes, the café people are consuming life, the guests are actively consuming, and the waiter is a completely passive, not desperate, but lifeless, in the pure helpless consumption, interspersed with some work that has to be done, and it is only the work that must be done in order to complete the task.
So the young man, like smashing a hammer of stereotyped mirrors, the kind of lightning in his eyes that crossed the world impressed me. When I was about to heat up the water, I didn't call him, but walked over with a cup in his hand, and he leaned over the coffee machine and flipped through a book so much that he didn't realize me.
I had to whisper hello, he raised his head, hurriedly put the book in his hand, went to help me add water, and when his hands handed it to me, his eyes still did not dodge, but threw themselves at me with a warmth that was not overly enthusiastic. I saw the title Of Evil Flowers, a collection of poems by The most famous modernist Baudelaire in France.
I asked him if he liked Baudelaire, and he smiled but didn't, but recently he wanted to understand modernity, so he just looked at it first, and he didn't understand it too much.
The conversation was short enough for me to hold the cup and not feel hot, and with a warm smile, I walked back to my place and blended in with the noise of the hundreds of millions of big brothers next to me.
I think that a person's life can be presented through his eyes. This kind of projection is not related to the quality of life, the degree of superiority, and perhaps fatigue will affect the intensity of the projection, but it will not affect the quality of the light in the slightest. Looking back at the light, from his eyes, through his life, to the farthest end of his heart, free from all worldly happiness, on the other side of all ideas, there is a beacon, shining is his final understanding of all life experiences, and the source of all his spiritual motivation.
This light, when it finally meets the outside world, constitutes a dialogue, or an inner story. Some people have irrepressible desires, some people have regrets that are difficult to reconcile, but there are also empty and confused.
Many times, this light is not purely a reflection of the heart, but also a reflection of the gem formed under the pressure of the surroundings. The evaluation system of society, the material, the prestige, the entanglement of interpersonal relations, will affect the color of this light.
Some people are cowardly because of material conditions, and some people feel humble because of insufficient achievements, especially under a single social judgment system, people will take these external measures to create a framework for themselves and become the prison that ultimately binds themselves.
In the eyes of the waiter brother, the light I saw, not because of his inferiority as a waiter, nor was he abandoned by life, this look, I also once saw in the eyes of the waiter in a café in France, that even if the guest is rich and invincible, he is also the king of his own world, in his heart, there is always something to confront the outside world.
What is used to fight, which can be called self-confidence, is a hope in the heart, a pursuit, a self-knowledge and a conviction of the goal. Although all this does not need to be taken out and shared with people, but people's natural loneliness also brings natural communication, when people are in the human world, when one person meets another person, a person and a society, the heart must react to the outside world, and it is bound to reach out a pair of hands, grasp something, or change something, or be changed by what.
So the light is not a fire that is completely born from the heart, it comes from the collision of the self and the world, and it is a war between two evaluation criteria. Some people are successful in the real world, and their self-confidence comes from the control of reality, but it also lies in the fact that he consciously or unconsciously internalizes the external evaluation standards into his own standards, and the two radio waves resonate at the same frequency. Some people have to fall into the dual front of reality in the outside world and the self world, unable to achieve the so-called success on the outside, some people inside give up, so the light is completely extinguished, and some people insist, just as the waiter showed me and the world, although he did not completely win the war in the material world, but in the inner battle, he still had the slight upper hand.
People should always be evaluated first and foremost as people, not as successful people, rich people, and powerful people.
When evaluated as a human being, all people have only one life, a shell, a soul, the only difference is the will to persevere in loneliness and war, and nothing else.
