Complaining is an act of venting our dissatisfaction, and we always want to get a little comfort from complaining, and we want the other party to change and get better in the direction we want.
In married life, we always sprinkle our resentment against each other without restraint on each other. Seemingly inconspicuous, a few casual words, if endless, repeated over and over again, will bring great harm to the other party's self-esteem. Serious, can also destroy a person, over time, complain more, you will form a bad habit invisibly, your complaint will bring immeasurable harm to your partner, not alarmist, your complaint, is the poison of marriage.
In Chinese-style marriage, we often hear wives and husbands complaining: "Who is who, how powerful the husband is, and then changed the big house, and became a manager, the salary has risen again, you look at your nest, nothing, I am really blind, only to find you, what is nothing." ”
Some people may say that my complaints are benign, and I want to use the radical method to make him work hard and make his family's life better. It cannot be denied that, in a way, this is a disguised way of encouraging, but who would like this kind of encouragement that hurts self-esteem!
The famous novelist Tolstoy, because of the two famous works "War and Peace" and "Anna Karenina" shined in the literary world, highly respected, his fame allowed him to have property, identity, status, these are many people can not reach. Tolstoy himself, indifferent to fame and fortune, did not care about these feats of fame and fortune at all, and only devoted all his energy to creation. His wife, on the other hand, was extravagant, very gold-loving, and always longed for more money, and her ideas ran counter to Tolstoy's own original intentions. Over time, such contradictions continued to erupt in their married life, and his wife complained all the time, made unreasonable trouble, and even threatened to die.
They often quarreled over whether to collect contributions, and the difference in values made her curse her lover like crazy, and finally Tolstoy, at the age of 82, could no longer bear his wife's insults and complaints, ran away from home, and later suffered from severe pneumonia during the exodus, died, and did not want to see his wife again until his death. Endless complaints shattered their supposedly happy lives and destroyed their marriage.
Chattering about complaining is not a good habit. In married life, blindly sarcastical and hitting each other. It will only make the other party lose the goal of struggle and fall into a more confused situation. A man, after a hard day of hard work outside, dragging his tired body back home, he longs for the warmth of the family, and the soft and whispered encouragement of his wife is all the motivation for their struggle. Long-term complaints and blows will only make men feel tired, they can't feel the temperature of the family, naturally want to escape, so the relationship between husband and wife will become more and more cold.
We will find that many times, complaining will not solve the problem, but will only make the contradiction deeper and deeper. We should have an inclusive heart, to communicate effectively with each other, to love our partners and families with a tolerant heart, to see more of their strengths, to be less critical of their shortcomings. Encourage and appreciate each other more, so that the other party has more courage to face the ups and downs and sufferings of life.
From now on, stop complaining! In another way, praise your lover more, affirm their efforts more, you go to give love and tolerance, you will reap more happiness.