Zhang Zhaohe in his youth
"I have walked many places in my life, crossed bridges in many places, seen clouds many times, and drunk many kinds of wine, but I have only loved one person of the right age." (Shen Congwen to Zhang Zhaohe)
It was almost the most beautiful love story I'd ever seen. It was written by Shen Congwen to his wife Zhang Zhaohe. Such love words, from birth to death, he wrote to her for a lifetime. Her heart has also been nourished by such sweet and soft words.
Until one day Gao Qingzi appeared.
Gao Qingzi
Who is Gao Qingzi? For Shen Congwen, she is a fan, a lover, and a passerby. Her appearance nearly destroyed all of Zhang Zhaohe's pride and conceit.
Zhang Zhaohe
One day in 1933, Shen Congwen went to his friend Xiong Xiling's home to visit his friend, and the owner was not there, and Gao Qingzi, who was Xiong Xiling's tutor, received Shen Congwen. Gao Qingzi was young and beautiful and generous, and the first conversation left a good impression on Shen Congwen, and also paved the way for the subsequent love affair.
Second from the left Zhang Zhaohe
Compared to Gao Qingzi, Zhang Zhaohe was of course the one who arrived first. Zhang Zhaohe: Daughter of a famous and prestigious family in Suzhou, with a solid family. She was the great-granddaughter of Zhang Shusheng, the general of the Huai Army and the governor directly under the Governor of Liangguang; the third daughter of Zhang Jiyou, an educator at the beginning of the Republic of China and the principal of Suzhou Leyi Girls' High School; and she was the school flower known as the Black Rose by Chinese public schools. She was still his student, and Shen Congwen knew everyone through twists and turns in order to marry her, regardless of his status as a teacher.
3 years and more than 9 months, thousands of love letters, tens of thousands of tears, several times the heart of the heart "I am not alive", coupled with the principal Hu Shi's god assist, the second sister of the Zhang family to help the waves, finally hugged the beauty back, drank the cup of sweet wine that belonged to him. He had, in order to love her, without scruples, in order to love her, humble to the bone, in order to love her, fully devoted.
However, the romance in the poet's bones fell into the quagmire of reality, and even the ripples of the water splash would not rise. The days after marriage were filled with poverty, triviality, and chicken feathers.
Zhang Zhaohe, who is a wife and mother, all the Fanghua is silently dissolved in real life. From the letters, we can see that because the sweater inside is too old, she does not even dare to take off her coat when she goes to another house for tea. She also confessed to her husband: "I don't like to swell my face and pretend to be fat and shiny, you have your true colors, not a gentleman and pretending to be a gentleman is always reluctant, as far as our situation can live, we can live what kind of life." I would rather hold the well and operate it myself, not to be bitter, as long as we can adapt to our own environment. ”
Compared with Zhang Zhaohe's rapid adaptation to the role and adapting to the environment, Shen Congwen came much slower. After all, he is a poet and a writer, and the romance in his bones is generated with the blood, and it always seems to be separated from real life by a distance. Whether it is sailing or going up the mountain, he will write to Zhang Zhaohe to share all the feelings he has seen and thought, and her reply only highlights the worry about what to eat next time. Such Zhang Zhaohe's temperament is contrary to her husband's and is something he does not like.
However, who is Shen Congwen? The genius in Hu Shi's mouth, China's most promising writer. Zhang Zhaohe can't give an echo, Gao Qingzi can.
If she is a fan sister, she must have the characteristics of a fan sister: Shen Congwen says that everything is good, and she likes everything about him, and even develops from like to familiar with it. When they met again, Gao Qingzi deliberately wore "a green space small yellow flower satin jacket, and also collaged a faint purple on the cuffs", which is the heroine of Shen Congwen's novel "Fourth". Implication: I don't only care about your work, but I also delve into your aesthetic. This mind is enough, even if the man does not express it immediately, it is inevitable that he will be moved in his heart.
In the stage of ambiguity, in order to express: "I am still very marketable" Poor boy Shen Congwen chose to confess to his wife Zhang Zhao and Gao Qingzi the existence of this woman. Zhang Zhaohe listened, flies do not sting seamless eggs, why choose you? In a fit of anger, he returned to his mother's house with his son, and this reaction was obviously not expected by Shen Congwen. Originally, it may have been to show loyalty and ask for credit, but it turned out to be counterproductive. I guess that when Shen Congwen told the story, he only regarded his wife as a lover, but ignored that she was also a woman, or an arrogant and cold woman, and there was not a grain of sand in her eyes.
It was also at this time that the War of Resistance broke out. Shen Congwen moved south with his colleagues to the Southwest United University in Kunming and wrote a letter to Zhang Zhaohe, hoping that the couple could accompany him. Repeated invitations, Zhang Zhaohe refused, on the grounds that the child was too small, there were too many things, and it was different. This inevitably hurt Shen Congwen's heart. The real reason should be that she is still angry. Coincidentally, Gao Qingzi also appeared in the library of the Southwest United University, and the two people who had been suppressed for a long time finally really got together. Shen Congwen even wrote the process of exchange between the two people into his novel "Looking at the Rainbow", which contained many depictions of lust, and later because of this work, he was criticized as "peach-colored literature and art", and his writing career fell to the bottom.
In the face of all this, Zhang Zhaohe, who was already silent, was even more silent. She is probably the kind of person who doesn't say a word, even if her heart is dripping blood. Such people are easy to be cruel to themselves, and it is easy to be cruel to others. Looking at the photos of her youth, I always feel that there are three points of heroism in addition to beauty. In this way, Gao Qingzi and Shen Congwen cheng turned and entangled for eight years, and Zhang Zhaohe endured for eight years, until Gao Qingzi got married, and this passerby finally passed, completely disappearing from the world of the two. However, the former "Three Thirds" and "Second Brother Shen" can never go back to the past, and they miss the one who wrote: "Will the wind in Changsha also roar so mercilessly and blow my second brother's body into ice?" Zhang Zhaohe, until her death, she could not write such a sweet sentence again.
It may be that in those years, the blood on her heart had not dried up. Maybe she didn't know how to face him yet. Probably, she wasn't even ready for herself. The two had been separated, and she always appeared when he was in a hurry, and when the situation improved slightly, she immediately left his sight. Later, Shen Congwen, who fell to the bottom of his career, was really miserable, not only sealing his pen but also being arranged to clean the women's toilet. Depressed, unable to bear the torture, he chose to commit suicide, drinking kerosene to cut the artery, fortunately, he was rescued without dying, but as soon as he was discharged from the hospital, she chose to go to North China University for further study.
However, it is said that after Shen Congwen's death, Zhang Zhaohe finally forgave him and sorted out the manuscript for him!