I haven't watched a movie on campus youth for a long time, the reason is very simple, in addition to most youth films generally sprinkling dog bloody eyes, the most important thing is that I feel that I have grown old, and what boyish feelings and girlish hearts have long been polished into an indifferent face with time.
(Nadine confided in the teacher about the growing pains, and finally the teacher replied: Because, no one likes you)
However, I recently became curious about a screenshot of a youth-themed movie and felt very empathy. The film, translated as "The Edge of Growth", tells the story of a seventeen-year-old high school girl Nadine's upbringing confusion, a girl who strives to find a sense of existence and uniqueness, she likes old movies, old music, old people, and feels that her soul is old and different, so it is difficult to integrate into the "superficial" high school social world. In her gloomy eyes, her daily life is lost in family, friendship and love.
In terms of family affection, in front of the tall, handsome, perfect brother, she is like an ugly duckling, in her eyes all the expectations and attention of the mother are tilted on the "perfect" brother, so in the daily life she and her brother are a kind of "mutual harm" of the old enemy state, and the only father who has a common language with himself accidentally died of a sudden illness a few years ago; in friendship, because of her "uniqueness", it is difficult for her to integrate into the social world of high school, and the only good friend actually "betrays" herself. On a sunny day, she rolled the sheets with her old enemy brother; in love, the person who liked herself did not like it, and the person she liked could not even remember her name. And the only person she can talk about is a "rotten" teacher who seems to ignore everyone, that is, the object of the screenshot.
The story ends, of course, when Nadine finally wakes up, compromises reality, understands her family, and is with someone who likes her.
Many people feel that they have found their own shadow in the protagonist after watching the movie, and I feel that I was like this when I was young and ignorant, sensitive and fragile, disdainful of being with the crowd, thinking that I am very thoughtful, living with an old soul in my heart, more and more loving classic old songs, old movies and mature people, thinking that I am very tasteful, scorning today's popular saliva songs... But in fact, like the protagonist, he is extremely inferior in his heart and extremely lacks a sense of identity, because he knows that he does not have the capital of pride but has the problem of pride. I know that I am confused and decadent but I am powerless to change and do not know how to change. And such a self is actually a manifestation of loser.
Most of us are ordinary people, pregnant without breaking up, abortion when pregnant, no messing, fighting and tearing youth, we just have some trivial troubles and throbbing in the process of growing up, and "The Edge of Growth" is to show us these real and ordinary moments, which are our familiar and unforgettable ordinary moments, this is our real and moving youth. In fact, many of the troubles in growth are ultimately due to ourselves, not how crowded and incomprehensible the people around you are, but your own heart is unwilling to accept the people around you, and close your heart to a door.
In fact, it has nothing to do with age, many people have not yet come out of this adolescent syndrome, living a life of mourning every day, unwilling to accept change, looking down on others, once others are better than themselves, they will excuse themselves in various ways, such as someone using the toeflat after work, when reading English is still good, you feel that you can also, but because you are busy at work. The colleague who jumped ship last year has been promoted to a salary increase to become a director, and you are still an ordinary employee, and you say in your heart that you are better than him, that is because he has a backstage... In fact, a person's failure is not terrible, the terrible thing is that you have been immersed in this failure, the eternal resentment of the people do not know how to reflect, to learn to find problems from themselves, to find solutions. Know that it will always be only you who adapt to this society, not society that adapts to you.
In "Soldier Assault", Yuan Lang said to Chengcai, "The reason is that you are too outward-looking, you always regard everything as your opposition, every place you have experienced, everyone and everything needs you to pay time and life, but you never pay affection, you always coldly throw them away, so what are you trying for?" Wasting a lifetime for an outcome? ...... Go back and be kind to yourself and others...". Life is like this, when you suddenly wake up and feel that everything is too late, you inevitably fall into another cycle.
I also often have negative energy bursting, and when I am so depressed that I just want to collapse on the couch and long for such a peaceful death, A passage from Nakajima Atsushi's "Mountain Moon" always echoes in my mind, which wakes me up all the time:
Because he was afraid that he was not a pearl and did not dare to think hard, and because he had some belief that he was a pearl, and could not be with the rubble, he gradually left the world and avoided the crowd, and as a result, he constantly fed his cowardly self-esteem with resentment and shame in his heart. Everyone in the world is a beast trainer, and the beast is each person's own disposition. For me, the beast is this arrogant shame. The tiger is exactly what it is. I hurt myself, I hurt my wife and children, I hurt my friends. At the end, I became this look that was in tune with my heart.
When I think about it now, I really wasted my little talent, and in vain to play with the aphorism that "if I don't do something in life, it is too long, and if I want to do something, it is too short", but the truth is that the cowardly fear of exposing the lack of talent, and the laziness of aversion to study hard, are all I have. But far less talented than me, there is no shortage of poets who have become poets because of their specialization. After becoming a tiger, I finally saw this. Whenever I think of this, even now I feel a burning regret in my chest.
Human cowardice in most senses is that they dare not and do not have the ability to love. Fear of exposing the cowardice of insufficient talent, and the inertia of disgust. An innate sense of inferiority and a sense of urgency to prove yourself. Coupled with self-control, the result is that people who have been systematically sacrificing their current sense of satisfaction will get what they want in the future.
(Image source: Japanese drama "legal high" season 2 07)
At the feet of a genius is absolutely piled up the corpses of many mediocre people, with the talents and long-cherished wishes that have not been made public, envying and resenting those who are called geniuses, just because they are lazy!