In the last issue of the "Psychological Lesson" of Yingxintang, Tan Qingrong's consultant interpreted "The Woman Who Ran with the Wolf", using the story of "Bluebeard" as a guide, talking about women's intuition and subconscious. In this article, Consultant Yu Lingna provides another perspective on the story: the hunting imagery of "Bluebeard".
Text | Yu Lingna
The book "The Woman Who Ran with the Wolf" takes the fairy tale and archetype as the starting point, and discusses in detail the many difficulties and paths for the growth of the female mind.
Among them, the interpretation of the story of "Bluebeard" has a wonderful echo with the current situation of women in China.
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First, let's briefly describe the main points of this story -
In the monastery where the white-clad nuns of the mountains lived, a wisp of blue beard was preserved, which once belonged to a failed wizard, Bluebeard. He had pursued the three sisters in the family, but they were afraid of his blue beard, and whenever he visited, they hid. In order to prove his sincerity, he invited them to play in the forest. He brought in a beautiful horse with a jingling bell and a crimson ribbon hanging from its mane. He had the three sisters and their mother sit on horseback and lead the horse deep into the dense forest, docking under a large tree, telling them stories and bringing them good food. On the way home, they chatted about the happy experience of the day. The two sisters still had misgivings about Bluebeard and decided never to see him again. The youngest sister felt that the blue beard was not bad, and even his beard was not so blue. So, when Bluebeard proposed to her, she married him and returned with him to his castle in the forest. One day, Bluebeard told her, "I'll have to leave for a while, and you can invite your family here and do whatever you want." This is the keychain of the castle, you can open any door, only the smallest of them, the key, you can not use. ” The bride agreed. Bluebeard left, and her sisters came to see her. There were three floors in the castle, each floor had a hundred rooms, and the sisters opened the doors one by one, and found that some were kitchen storage rooms, some were gold and silver treasures, and all kinds of magical objects, as if everything in the world could be found behind the door. Finally, they went to the basement and found a small door. Without hesitation, they slipped the smallest key into the door, opened it, and entered the room with a lit candle. They screamed: the room was littered with blood and charred wreckage, and skulls piled up in the corners like cabbage. They slammed the door shut, pulled out the keys, hugged each other and gasped. But the key was dripping blood all the time, and it couldn't be wiped off. "What should I do?" The bride cried, "I see, I'm going to hide the key, just in the closet." I would close the closet door. It's just a nightmare and everything will be fine. ” The next day, Bluebeard returned. Greeted the bride and asked her to return the keys. He glanced at it and saw that the smallest key was missing. Bluebeard grabbed her by the hair and pushed her to the ground: "Unfaithful woman, you've been into that room, haven't you?" ” He opened her closet, and the little key was on the top floor, and the blood that came out stained her luxurious dress red. "Now it's your turn!" Bluebeard dragged her into the basement cabin. She pleaded, "Please! Give me 15 minutes to freshen up and get dressed, get ready for death, and get God's forgiveness before I die. ” She ran back to her room and asked her sisters to look out over the walls of the castle courtyard. She pretended to pray, but in fact she was asking, "Sister, sister!" Are our brothers coming? ” "We can't see anything, nothing in the vast wilderness." A few minutes later, she asked again. "We saw a whirlwind, maybe it was a dust monster in the distance, or maybe it was really a whirlwind." Bluebeard roared angrily toward the stairs, and the bride asked again. At this time, the sisters shouted, "Come, I see them!" Our brothers have arrived, and they have just entered the castle gates! ” Just as Bluebeard was about to kill her, the brothers rode all the way into the room on horseback and killed Bluebeard. His body turned into food for vultures.
Estes, author of "The Woman Who Ran with the Wolf," points out that the "failed wizards" represented by Bluebeard are a kind of self-inflated people who, like Icarus, who used wax to stick his wings to his back in Greek mythology, wanted to challenge things beyond his ability, or to be on an equal footing with the power beyond himself, only to fail and be punished.
In reality, many men who hunt women have similar traits: narcissism, self-control, and defeat. And when they lose, it is also the day they start hunting women.
The car of the contemporary man is the horse with the bell and ribbon in the Bluebeard story.
For ordinary girls, driving them (along with girlfriends or family) in luxury cars to mysterious places, plus food and stories - is the bait thrown by modern versions of bluebeards.
Although the more mature women (sisters) are wary of this, young and innocent girls are sometimes impressed, ignoring the disturbing parts of the other party, thinking that "his beard is not so blue", and thus entering the life of bluebeard.
Bluebeard's secret, the story of him and all the women he had interacted with before, was sealed in a basement cabin where brides were not allowed.
Almost all of the contemporary Bluebeards who hunt women will keep silent about themselves and their ex's stories, or make up lies, or tell her directly, "Don't ask." ("You can't go into that room.") ）
The bride will of course be curious about this. If a man holds a mobile phone for a long time to send messages, deliberately avoids when calling, or the condom at home is inexplicably less - it will make women want to find out.
What if they discovered the nature of Bluebeard?
Quite a few women, when they find out about their husbands' (boyfriends') black history, or are cheating, their first reaction is to persuade themselves: Maybe this is not true.
They will walk away deceiving themselves, like the girls in the story: "It's just a nightmare, everything will be fine."
Or find a way to defend the other party: "He is also bitter about doing this."
Or, although you run to question the other person angrily, you actually want the other party to tell you that "things are not the way you think." In this case, the other party only needs to make up a little cheap and sweet lie, and can successfully persuade women to return to a state of ignorance.
Even with overwhelming evidence, it takes courage to admit that their partner is a "bluebeard," and some women even oscillate between doubt and self-deception for years before finally accepting reality.
Whether it is the truth of their partners or the truth of the world, women who do not want to see the truth have a "key to continuous bleeding" in their hearts, and the continuous state of blood loss often makes them weak and powerless.
This kind of mental anemia affects other aspects: it makes them lose their determination, courage, creativity, courage... Become more vulnerable and more dependent on others.
Who do you rely on? Bluebeard, of course.
This dependence, in turn, makes them more reluctant to see the truth, and thus falls into a vicious circle.
Before Bluebeard's murderous heart, anemic women often hinted that they had forgotten the "nightmare" of the gloomy basement while fully enjoying the riches of the castle.
Three floors, 100 rooms on each floor, all the rooms are full of gold and silver treasures, brocade and jade food, treasures and treasures... These are the dream worlds in which consumer society seeks to discipline women to indulge.
In this sense, the patriarchal consumer society is a Leviathan-level bluebeard that guides women to indulge in dressing, delicacies, jewelry mansions, and quiet years, rather than looking at the small room in the basement.
In the small rooms of our time, there are baby girls who have been killed, girls who have been sexually assaulted, girls who have become prostitutes, girls who have been trafficked, girls who have been imprisoned, girls who have been tortured and killed... They were piled up in layers of blood and skeletons.
However, there is a philosophy of survival called "rare confusion". In many fairy tales, there are similar "forbidden rooms", and the protagonist almost all of them can't help but run in with curiosity, inviting disasters and punishments.
I've met a lot of people who can't help but sigh when they read similar episodes: Why go in? Wouldn't it be nice to be outside? Curiosity kills cats.
Adhering to this philosophy, many women know about their partner's black history and even know that he is cheating, but still choose to "turn a blind eye".
Or else? Is it possible to let the comfortable days in the castle but divorce Bluebeard?
In the fairy tale, the bride's original family is still quite strong, although the mother seems to be a little dimwitted, but the two sisters are more sober, and at the end of the story, there is a group of fierce brothers who appear out of nowhere.
In contemporary society, bluebeard brides are unwilling to face the truth, in addition to being reluctant to live a rich life in the castle, there is often another reason: their original families are likely to climb up to the bluebeard family affair, improve their living standards, and help the bare brothers to get a daughter-in-law.
These brides will have a hard time escaping the fate of being hunted by men. They end up with nothing more than two: being killed by Bluebeard or dying from persistent mental blood loss.
Women who have met Bluebeard, or who have heard bluebeard stories, often try to pass these experiences on as a warning to the next generation.
When they saw the innocent little girl laughing and frolicking, they couldn't help but remind her: the world is not as safe as you think, and Bluebeard may be watching you in the dark. When suspicious suitors appeared, they were even more dignified: be careful, he might be a bluebeard.
But few girls take this warning seriously, and in their eyes, Bluebeard is history, folklore, stories made up by older women out of jealousy and control... Otherwise, it is also a small probability event, and it will not fall on the protagonist's aura to protect himself.
And the blue-bearded horses, food and castles have exuded an enduring temptation in human history.
In the part of "The Woman Who Ran with the Wolf" about "Bluebeard", there is a passage that impressed me:
It is said that in the animal kingdom, there is a mysterious psychological dance between hunters and prey. If the prey's gaze intersects with the hunter's and its body begins to tremble in a particular way, it admits that it is weaker than the hunter and accepts the fact that it is the prey.
For some reason, this feeling always reminds me of the "fawn collision" depicted in many love stories when women and men's eyes meet.
Perhaps the "hunting" thing is often regarded as "love".
·Yingxintang Consultant·
Yu Lingna Tokyo He holds a bachelor's and master's degree in psychology from Zhejiang University, and graduated from the senior group of the Sino-AMERICAN Psychoanalytic Alliance (CAPA). 10 years of full-time experience in the industry, more than 7000 hours of consulting and group work experience. He is the author of "Am I Depressed: A Guide to Self-Help for Depressed People", which has been translated as "The Bondage of Maternal Love", "Why Motherly Love Hurts", and "Jung's Autobiography". excel - Depression, obsessive-compulsive, anxious, fearful, suspicious and other neuroses - Somatization problems - Personal growth of women - Mild personality problems - Traumatic accompaniment - Consultant self-experience
·Past Book Reviews·
Narcissistic mothers, read this book | "The Bondage of Motherhood" His thoughts will accompany you all the way through death | jungian autobiography reading guide Some are cold, it's emotional abuse, | "Cold Violence" Treating a sick family is better than being alone and sick | "Family on a Hot Pot" Heavy and humorous, a cartoonist's gift to the emotionally handicapped | Autobiography of the comic
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