For some reason, the following 2 questions have become a hot topic of discussion on the popular network for a while.
"Why are boys reluctant to take the initiative to chase girls?"
"Why are the main customers of marriage websites all women?"
Some say it's because men are finally waking up, and instead of wasting their time on fruitless things, it's better to take time and energy to improve themselves.
Some people even say that women nowadays are too materialistic, and men without money can't afford to fall in love, and it is more difficult to keep the marriage.
Of course, the most fundamental thing is that it is too much trouble to chase girls. Coaxing and shoving back and forth, to the end, she may not necessarily agree to your pursuit.
After experiencing too much "bamboo basket to hit the water empty", men also began to be discouraged.
In fact, it is not that girls are not easy to chase, but many girls like to put long lines to "catch big fish".
They know what kind of man they want, but they don't want to go through the empty window, resulting in many men wasting time and money and still being empty.
Especially many girls who are unwilling to settle down, while talking about love, also count the men around them who love her.
Therefore, if the girl has not yet figured out what she wants, do not use hypocrisy to disturb a man, and do not repeatedly use a man's kindness to you.
Please, please accept, my sincere request.
01.
27 years old Single for 2 years
In fact, I have never understood: why girls are so difficult to chase.
Shouldn't love be mutual? Women are also emotional animals, like or dislike a man, why can't you tell men directly.
It is necessary to be indulgent, ambiguous, and ambiguous.
Wait until the man has spent the money and exhausted his energy before you say: I'm sorry, I don't think we're a good fit.
You're not a scourge!
My ex-girlfriend was a female colleague at our company. I knew she was alone and asked her out to dinner, movies, and gifts for her.
He even helped her bring breakfast every day and worked overtime with her until late at night.
At one time, my colleagues in the company thought we were lovers. But she never spoke to anyone about me, and never admitted that we were dating.
Because I can't fall in love or seduce girls. I think as long as I am good to a girl, she should understand my intentions.
If she didn't accept me, she should have come early to let me know.
But her ambiguity and dislike of me made me think that we were already lovers, and that the relationship was love.
Who knew that half a year later, suddenly a man drove to the company to pick her up. At that moment, I realized that I was like Adu's "He Must Love You".
I shouldn't have seen that, I should have left as soon as possible.
It turns out that the girl is like this, together for so long, you can not recognize your existence.
Later, after I found out the truth, I completely turned away from her.
Today, I've been single for two years alone.
When I calm down, I often think of that experience, and I feel silly and naïve.
Why do you want to do something so stupid?
I have regretted countless times that if I had asked about my relationship with her earlier, I would not have hurt myself so heart-wrenchingly.
Maybe men are prone to falling into a feeling. A feeling of self-inflicted amorousness.
At this moment, I also understand a truth:
"Love is not dependent on men to take the initiative to pay, the end of love is actually controlled by women." ”
Maybe I will chase love again after my heartbreak is healed, but I will never choose to give it all easily.
02.
32 years old Single for 5 years
As an older single man, I have nothing to hide.
I've been alone for 5 years since my last relationship left me completely heartbroken.
In these long 5 years, I have completely become a spectator presence. It is not to envy the love of others, and not to complain about their loneliness.
Because the girlfriend of the last relationship hurt me too much, we spoiled her and protected her so much, but in exchange for her betrayal.
I gave almost everything I had for her, fiery feelings, ignorant youth, and uncountable money.
You simply can't imagine that at the moment I knew that she had betrayed me, my heart was really as bad as being frozen.
To be honest, I can't forget that sense of loss in my life, and I don't want to believe in women anymore.
After waking up many times in the night, I couldn't understand why my goodness could not be exchanged for her loyalty.
Sometimes I even comfort myself that if I miss a man who is so obsessed with me, she may not meet a man who is really good to her in her life.
But I also knew that this was just a complaint to vent my inner dissatisfaction, and it didn't make any sense at all.
Now I have become a little depressed, cautious, and cautious about anyone's feelings.
Maybe it's hard for me to believe in love anymore in my life, and it seems that I feel a little heartache when I think of love.
03.
The 23-year-old has never been in a relationship
People who know me say that I am a "strange flower" with buds waiting to be released.
Because I don't want to be in a relationship or know what it means to spend my life with another person.
When I was in junior high school, I also secretly saw the girls in the front seat many times.
Even when love is ignorant, he fantasizes about a life similar to that of his parents.
For example, find a petite and cute girl, or a particularly beautiful girl.
Of course, today, I have not practiced the original absurd idea.
I venture to guess that maybe in this vast world, there will be people like the same. It seems that a person has been alone for too long, and he has forgotten what loneliness is, and he does not want to talk about a relationship.
In the 23 years I spent alone, I didn't lie to say that I was really doing really well.
Maybe I'm giving my time too much and I have little free time to think about women.
Suppose there is really a woman who has a crush on me, and may have been filtered out by my ruthlessness, right?
But I believe that love is actually a flow and interaction of feelings. It is by no means bought by men with their humble flattery.
But now I really don't want to get involved in love half a step, because I am too happy to live alone.
On weekends when I don't have to work, I go on outings in the countryside, read comics at bookstores, and buy myself a cup of coffee when I'm tired.
I also recently got a gym card because I wanted to make myself more perfect.
Or many years later, loneliness will really find me, and even then I will not regret my decision now.
Tong Xiaonian, emotional conclusion:
At the end of the day, it is a little ugly, I hope that girls will not easily accept a man's kindness to themselves because of emptiness and loneliness, and do not feel that he is not suitable for themselves after the man is fully engaged.
Love, it should be clear, clear, and thorough.
Simply put, if you don't love enough, please don't give a man who loves you any chance, don't let him break his heart, and listen to love songs over and over again. That was really cruel to him.
Maybe one day, when we say that a man is cold, selfish, and heartless, it is we who ignore that he just has a heart that has been hurt.
That's right, you like it again, just like it!