Xiao Qiang on the grave

Xiao Qiang is a hair child of mine, I have known him for almost 30 years, a few months older than me, I call him Qiang Brother.

When we were in junior high school, he was a bully, the kind that was more domineering than me. I'm 2-5 unstable bullies, and he's the number one bully every time. It was an ordinary rural middle school in the north, and we didn't know much about the outside world, and we couldn't think of comparing with others.

At that time, I admired him, gentle and heavy, stubborn and not adventurous, and seemed to be compatible with everyone. In the mid-1990s, it was popular for rural children to graduate from junior high school and go to secondary school, and they could be employed early. After graduating from junior high school, he entered the secondary school with excellent results at that time, and I don't know why he tore up the secondary school volunteer form at the last minute and chose to go to high school. Since then we have taken a different path.

Our friendship did not dissipate because of the different paths chosen, but deepened with age. Even if he later worked and lived in Tianjin, I have been in Shanghai since graduating from university, but the friendship has not been alienated by the difference in distance and environment, on the contrary, it is getting closer and closer, and there are 9 other people who carry out this friendship together.

In May this year, I was on a business trip to Beijing. Suddenly, the eldest brother in the 11 crowd sent a message saying that Xiao Qiang's mother had died. I was very emotional when I got this news - Xiao Qiang can finally be relieved.

When his father died unexpectedly in a car accident in the second grade of junior high school, he supported the family with his mother at a young age. A few years after his father's death, about 98 years ago, he was working shortly after his mother suddenly suffered a stroke and was paralyzed, and he was bedridden for 23 years. During this period, there was help from relatives and the care of his brother, but most of them were his cooking. Especially in recent years, my brother has also had an accident, and he has taken on the responsibility of taking care of his mother alone.

It is said that there is no filial piety in front of the bed for a long time, and Xiao Qiang has not let his mother be wronged. Because of taking care of the old woman, Xiao Qiang sacrificed a lot. Delayed work, affected the relationship between husband and wife, less to give the daughter to accompany... Whenever there is a small party, I never see him. Everyone was not surprised, because they all knew that he could not get out of his body.

On the day of the old woman's funeral, fa xiao yigan people participated, both men and women, and were filial piety and filial piety. We may be telling him in our hearts that you don't have a daddy anymore, and there are us behind you.

The old lady is gone, and he is also 40 years old. When the two of them smoked, I saw his white hair and the wind and frost on his face. I said to him, you are liberated, live the rest of your life. But I know that he may not be used to living himself or not knowing his needs. A person who has been overloaded for twenty or thirty years, once there is none, I am afraid that he does not know how to live.

Since then, he has spoken a lot in small groups, often chatting with everyone, and we are all very happy. Every time he said that he wanted to go back to his hometown in Cangzhou, fa xiao, who lived in his hometown, was particularly active in getting together, and he was more active than others when they went back. No one said why, but they all knew why—he went back to his hometown for a party less often, and he was more painful.

Probably the first day of October in the lunar calendar is a day of grave visits. At the end of last month, he began to plan a trip home, his brother was not at home, he was going to give his parents a grave.

The epidemic is onset, some cases have come out from various places, and prevention and control have escalated. He was afraid that he would not be able to return from Tianjin to Cangzhou, or that the health code would change color, delay his work, and delay many things. There are no cases in Tianjin and Cangzhou, but the northern epidemic prevention strategy is tightening, and he has repeatedly asked in the group about the epidemic prevention and control situation in his hometown.

Every time he asked, everyone actively asked him to come back and arrange what to eat and how to live. Although I was not in my hometown, I actively urged him to go back.

Every time he asked, every time he had a lot of concerns, every time he didn't make up his mind, even now, he still hadn't gone back. So that the more you drag on the epidemic prevention and control level, the higher the level, but it is really difficult. I can't shake him, I keep scaring him, logic shy, attacking, provoking... Shook back and forth, for the sake of scaring. I'm a sensational connoisseur, but I haven't shaken him yet. However, he was very angry, and then he pulled around with me and did not answer my words.

I knew that he had been a father to himself as a teenager, had served his mother for more than twenty years, and had probably developed a way of worrying about everything and ensuring that nothing was wrong. But I really want him to be more spontaneous and really live for himself.

But how do I know he's not living for himself? How do I know from a narrow perspective of God what He has faced in the past and what he is in the present? What positive effect does my seemingly logical and self-consistent expression have on him? Do I laugh at his grinding and chirping ladies more in contrast to their own childish ignorance, narrow-mindedness, and short iq and short personality defects?

He let me go as usual, like every other haircut. Because I am childish and ignorant and pretend to be cute, narrow and contemptuous and good to show off. In an instant I felt like a baby, always in their arms, and they had always clinged to my willfulness.

I remember when I was in high school, for a while I was quite unsatisfactory, and my psychological state was very bad. Xiao Qiang sent me a letter with a piece of Huang Lian in it. The letter is short, to the effect that: Huang Lian's suffering, let's taste it together. Look at my family, you are already very happy, work hard.

When I was in high school, I was caught by the teacher for smoking and wanted to call my parents. Proud of me, I couldn't ask my parents to do it for me, and I skipped school to stay in his school dormitory for a week. He accompanied me every day and provided me with food, drink and fun. Probably since then, I used to play lai, he let me.

When I was still in high school, I got a serious illness and stayed in the Cangzhou Second People's Hospital for more than 40 days. The boys in the small group, of course, there are also Xiao Qiang, who take turns to accompany them. Maybe from that time on, they spoiled me.

It was late at night. I hope that tomorrow is not a smog day, and the highway will not close the road; I hope that the situation of the epidemic will improve and the degree of prevention and control will be lowered; I hope that Xiao Qiang can smoothly return to his hometown to finish the grave, but he has not fulfilled his wish; I hope that the hair children in his hometown will pull him together, and he will laugh and laugh in a sip of wine, without tears.