In the process of educating children, some parents believe in the educational concept of "hitting is kissing, scolding is love, not fighting and not scolding is a scourge", and turning all the love for their children into scolding in their mouths, in the hope that their children will be nirvana like a phoenix in the fire.
In their view, every scolding is a love full of expectations for the child.
However, for children, every scolding of the "poisonous tongue" parents may be a knife inserted in the heart, pulling it out and feeling empty, not pulling it out and feeling painful.
"Poisonous tongue" father Li Chengru daily scares his son
In the second season of "Actors Please Take Place", commentator Li Chengru was praised by netizens for contributing the poisonous tongue golden sentence of "taste the same chewing wax, taste like chicken ribs, so boring".
In fact, Li Chengru not only spoke sharply in the program, but even his own son was also very "poisonous tongue".
Some time ago, Li Chengru participated in the variety show "Boast is Right", and almost let his son Li Dahai die socially.
The program team originally wanted Li Chengru to praise his son, so he asked him "Do you think your son is successful", and Li Chengru said mercilessly: "What do you think?" Without Li Chengru' father, do you know who Li Dahai is? ”
After finishing his words, he got up and put on his clothes and left, without the slightest intention of saving some face for his son. What I know is that my father came to help my son, but what I don't know is that Li Chengru came to smash the enemy field.
However, for Li Dahai, such scenes have long been accustomed to.
In 2013, Li Dahai participated in "I Am Not a Star", and the program group video connected Li Chengru, wanting him to help his son Li Dahai, and as soon as he opened his mouth, he taunted: "You don't have the ability, what can I boast about?" ”
After listening to this, Li Dahai's face was still expectant, and only a bitter smile remained.
So, is Li Dahai really as Useless as Li Chengru said?
In fact, it is not, Over the years, Li Dahai has also made some achievements, released 6 singles, composed music for 7 film and television dramas, and established his own film and television company... Although there are no very bright achievements, it is also a small achievement, not useless.
Parental denial and blows are toxic
After watching Li Chengru's daily life of his son, Mommy couldn't help but think of Jia Zheng reprimanding Jia Baoyu in "Dream of the Red Chamber", no matter how Baoyu behaved, Jia Zheng, a father, would never praise him in public.
Talking to Baoyu in ordinary days is not like father and son, but more like enemies, there are words that are not good to say, and opening your mouth must be reprimand.
All this stems from Jia Zheng's belief in suppressing education, advocating the authority of his fathers, and feeling that "modesty makes people progress, and pride makes people backward", only by constantly attacking and denying children can children be ashamed and then brave.
Therefore, in front of the child, he has always played the role of a "poisonous tongue" persona, and he can't help but give the child a slap on the head.
The twisted father-son relationship between Jia Zheng and Jia Baoyu is also a true portrayal of many Chinese families.
In the eyes of many parents, if you want your child to have a career, you must first suffer his heart, and constantly hit the child in the process of growing up, not to make the child proud and always be alert.
As everyone knows, the blow of parents is not a spur to the child, but a knife inserted in the heart.
Parents constantly hit and deny the child, will cause a "I can't do" psychological hint to the child, let the child form a "learned helplessness" in the heart, no matter what he does in the future, he will feel that he will not succeed and is not willing to try again.
Then, the child's performance will only get worse and worse, and what can't be done.
Although we advocate a low-key, introverted personality, this does not mean that children should be educated in a way that is beaten and denied.
For children, the encouragement and affirmation of parents is a continuous pool of energy in life, and only children who are affirmed and supported will have the courage to overcome difficulties, explore the unknown, and make people shine.
"Poisonous tongue" parents please put away their own language strikes, you not only beat off the child's pride, but also left the child with incurable psychological trauma.