"Zhuangzi" has a saying: "Observing the surplus and the void, so that we gain but do not like, lose and do not worry, and know the impermanence of the division." ”
Insight into the world, all things have a surplus and a void, gain and loss are therefore interdependent.
Life is often like this, when we think we have gained, we may also be losing; when we regret losing, we may have gained something else.
To gain without showing joy, to lose without remorse and sorrow, is to be indifferent and transparent.
People who are truly wise know: loss without anger, gain without arrogance, quiet without contention.
Mencius says, "Widows do not complain, and poor without mercy." ”
Do not be sad when you are suffering hardships; do not resent even if you are not appointed.
Argentine men's basketball player Manu Ginobili is an absolute main player in the national team, with both stats and physical fitness, but he has been a substitute for the Spurs until his retirement, and is recognized as the "best sixth man".
Coming off the bench means losing the opportunity to charge the field. But he did not get angry, did not disappoint, did not give up, but chose to "enjoy" to be part of the team.
Manu Ginobili once said at the retirement ceremony:
"Winning is not everything, I learned more from losing, I learned more. No one is born with anything, and experience will make you grow. ”
He was willing to be a substitute and made him great.
Sometimes, in the face of difficulties and unsatisfactory, what determines the next success or failure is not the ability but the mentality.
Anger at the loss of opportunity and glory is not only unable to win recognition, but also loses grace and pattern.
In the National Day military parade, Zhang Xiaojia, who was told that she could only serve as a "backup pilot", did not complain half a word, and with the best technology, she guarded the smooth flight of her sisters.
Beethoven, who was deaf, did not give up on himself and give up his dreams because he could not hear the sound, and tenaciously used his fingers to ring the sacred "Symphony of Destiny".
Chu Shijian, who suffered a major setback in his life at the age of 71, did not have the scenery of that year, but chose to start a business for the second time when he was on medical parole, and only then did he have the later "Chu Orange".
People's lives will always encounter unsatisfactory, unsatisfactory, and even misfortune and suffering, and if they are angry and depressed because of these adversities, and give up their pursuits and ideals, it is not worth it.
Gyatso said in "Everything is the Best Arrangement":
"People like to gain and lose, in fact, it is not necessary, loss is not unacceptable, not to mention as a terrible flood beast, in many cases, loss is actually to let go, in order to better hold." 」
Truly powerful people have the wisdom to see through gains and losses. Do not sink into missing, do not anger at injustice, do not regret failure.
The Tao Te Ching says, "If it is not self-sufficient in the end, it can become great." ”
Only when a person is not self-righteous and arrogant can he achieve something and become the leader of everyone.
On the contrary, it is easy to lose appreciation and trust, attract resentment and even bring misfortune.
In the early Han Dynasty, Han Xin was reused by Liu Bang for Xiao He's protection and worshipped him as a great general.
In the Chu-Han War, he exerted outstanding military talents.
Led the army out of Chen Cang, Ding Sanqin, Wei, Broken Dynasty, Annihilation of Zhao, Descending Yan, and Qi, until the entire Chu army was annihilated, without a single defeat.
Praised by Xiao He as "the unparalleled soldier of the country", Liu Bang also commented on him: "The battle will be won, and the attack will be won." ”
But Han Xin was able to defeat countless enemy troops alone, but in the end he was defeated by his own arrogance.
Liu Bang once talked to Han Xin about the superiority of the generals' talents.
Liu Bang asked him, "Like my talent, how many soldiers can I bring?" ”
Han Xin said, "The Great King can bring 100,000 soldiers. ”
Liu Bang said, "Then how much can you bring?" ”
Han Xin replied, "I, the more the merrier, the more the better." ”
The sense of arrogance is inadvertently exposed.
On leading the soldiers to fight, he looked down on Meng Tian and Bai Qi and called them "stupid", ridiculed Fan Duo, Lu Xie and other heroes, and thus completely lost the prestige he had previously established in the army, and was finally booby-trapped by Lü Hou.
There is an old saying: "All things are made without resignation, born and blessed, for the sake of the Buddha, for the sake of success and dwelling." ”
A gentleman is not arrogant, and he does not pay his own merits. Only by having merit without showing off, having the ability not to show off, being in a high position without arrogance, and knowing oneself can grasp the measure well.
Only in this way can we have insight into the world, not lose the fundamentals, and be sober and clear.
A truly powerful person has the wisdom to hide the edge. Not immersed in merit, not dazzling in achievements, not proud of glory.
Lao Tzu said, "The good is like water, and the water is good and profitable, but there is no dispute." Husbands are indisputable, so there is no special. ”
Only by not arguing or grabbing can we be truly carefree and worry-free.
The writer Cai Lan talked about his experience in the book "Worldly Affairs, Noble and Painful".
"I was in the Indian mountains, and the earth girl roasted chicken for me to eat all day, and I asked her if she had ever eaten fish?" What did she say was a fish? I drew one for her and said you haven't eaten fish, which is a pity. She replied: I haven't eaten fish, what's a pity? ”
Those things that you don't get, you care about is to miss, don't care what you can get.
Loss is only a relative concept, because you want to get it or you can't get it.
Just like Mr. Cai Lan once met an old hippie fishing, he saw that the fish on the other side was much larger than the old hippie in front of him, and told him:
"Hey, old man, the fish over there are big, go fish over there." The old hippie replied to him: "I fished, just for lunch." ”
The uneaten fish is not a regret in life; those very small fish, for a lunch, are enough. Those who have not entered life are not lost, and what they can have now is luck.
Whether it is an Indian native girl or an old hippie, "no dispute" is the most rare state of mind. No matter how big or small, no matter how much, it seems to be lost, but in fact, it has gained more quietness and gentleness.
There is an old saying that goes: "The glitz of the world is like a dream, and it is a blessing to look down on the floating clouds." ”
Obsessing over loss is a common problem for many people at present. In the end, we are still too greedy, always want to get more, climb higher.
Only by maintaining a quiet heart, not looking at the hot power, not envious of the rich, living purely, living naturally, can we seek a peace of mind.
Those who can see what they have are happy; those who can cherish this possession are even more fortunate; what they want cannot be obtained, and they can still be treated indifferently, which is the most intelligent.
Husbands do not quarrel, so the world cannot argue with them.
Do not compare wealth, do not cling to fame and fortune, do not consider gains and losses. Quietly work hard, quietly and vigorously, yours will always come.
May we have a day of joy and no trouble, and a night of sleep without dreams. Loss without anger, contentment and happiness, gain without arrogance, smile and pass, quiet without arguing, dashing through life.
Author | Liu Xiaochang, a working mother after the 80s, loves life and words.
Image | Stills and networks of "The Legend of Chu Han" (if there is infringement, contact to delete)