Yang Lin, former deputy director of the Chengdu Academy of Education: I do not tutor children, I am only responsible for signing Q1: learning at home, lack of learning atmosphere, how can learning efficiency be guaranteed? Q2: What should I do if my child's self-directed learning and self-management are poor? Q3: How can we ensure that the plan will be implemented? Q4: What if the two generations have different concepts of educating children? Q5: What should I do if mom and dad have differences over bringing up their children? Q6: Today's children are very naughty, will they spoil the children with good tempers? Q7: What other experience does Teacher Yang have in tutoring children's learning? Q8: How can children communicate effectively when they stay at home every day?

I've always thought grandparents don't care about their children's learning I did not tutor my child from an early age, because learning was his task and I was only responsible for signing Young moms and dads don't worry, if the school teacher finds you and says the child's homework is not completed, then you go back to the child If I had to choose between a good temper and a bad temper, I would rather choose a good temper ……

Affected by the epidemic, students across the country have ushered in the longest winter vacation in an unprecedented period, and children have been studying and living at home for longer than ever. During this period, presumably many parents have been exhausted in the matter of "taking a baby", in addition to worrying about their children's eating and drinking, learning and counseling are also quite troublesome.

To this end, on Saturday (March 7), Mr. Yang Lin, a well-known expert in the education field in the special connection of the Panda Parents' Association Program Group of Chengdu News Broadcasting, answered the confusion of parents about the baby during the epidemic.

Teacher Yang Lin in the program as a person, a mother, a teacher, to the young parents put forward a lot of pragmatic suggestions, many listeners and friends after listening to the program said that they were greatly inspired, but there are also some parents regret that they could not hear our program at the first time, so Xiaobian specially sorted out the live content into a text version for everyone to learn together, take a look!

Guests

Yang Lin

Former Deputy Director of the Institute of Basic Education, Chengdu Academy of Education

The first principal of the affiliated school of Chengdu Academy of Education and Science

Outstanding Principal of National Education Reform and Innovation

Specialist in child education

Renowned moral education expert

Member of the Editorial Board of the National Character Curriculum Textbook

Promoter of Character Education Practice in China

Editor-in-chief of the Beijing Normal University edition of Character Education

First of all, give the child a good learning environment, such as the books, clocks, computers, desk lamps, etc. that need to be used to learn. If family conditions permit, it can be a separate room, so that it will not be affected by the outside, so that the child feels that he is learning in a separate classroom or independent space.

The second is to be task-driven. Because children learn in school, it is actually a task-driven learning, such as the first lesson of Chinese, the second lesson of mathematics... The children are driven by the tasks of the lesson, constantly moving forward and learning continuously. Then we can also turn our children's learning into a task-driven at home. For example, the first class starts at 8:30 in the morning, 20 minutes or 30 minutes is Chinese, writing, ten minutes off at the end, then math homework, and then learn English...

The third is to give feedback to the child. For example, if the child's homework is done today, parents can make a tick or check how the child is doing, have a feedback, have an evaluation, then it will motivate him to move forward. Especially for young children, timely feedback is very important, it is like a driving force to push the child forward. Why do children generally listen to their teachers at school? Because the teacher will feedback, correct, evaluate. Therefore, many times if the child is not evaluated in time, some children will take advantage of the loophole, thinking that the parents do not care about me anyway, do not do it, do it poorly.

The last point is to let the child be a little teacher. Mom and dad need to learn to show weakness, such as encountering a problem, pretending not to understand and asking the child, the child immediately feels that he is a small teacher, feels that he is very strong, and then he will repeat it to you and demonstrate it again. In fact, in the process of repetition, it is the process of learning and reinforcement. This will also make the child feel that the parents are very agreeable and recognized, and the self-confidence has been improved.

The cultivation of children's autonomy and self-control at home is an excellent time and space for the cultivation of children's autonomy and self-control. In the past, children were always arranged by teachers and parents, and they could rely on adults for eating, using, wearing, and learning, which made children completely incapable of autonomy. Suddenly, with such a long vacation, the children themselves may not know what to do, and even the parents do not know what to do, so this time can be used to cultivate children's autonomy and self-control.

We can make his own life-learning plan based on the age of the child, and if the child is older, he can make his own life-learning plan. For young children, their parents come together with him to make plans for life and learning. How to arrange the time, what time to do, what to do, what to do at what time. This formulation process must be mainly for students and children, and parents should give advice. For example, you can combine dynamic and static, do some collocation in the content, do the language from 9:00 to 10:00, then do the exercise from 10:00 to 10:30, and then do the math from 10:30-11:30.

First of all, trust the child. On the one hand, parents give advice, on the other hand, children should be allowed to choose. For example, the child feels that the amount of today's task is too large, or the learning time is too long may not be able to sit still, we must trust him from the perspective of not thinking that the child is lazy or procrastinating. Because we adults are particularly prone to using their own preferences to give children a judgment, I think this is not a good parent-child relationship. We should think about the age of the child, can he complete the task? What obstacles will you encounter when you complete it? Do you need me to be a scaffold to help him get out of the way?

Of course, children should also be rewarded and punished. If it is done well, and it is punctual and punctual, or even exceeded, it is necessary to give a reward. This reward can be an agreement reached together in advance, if there is no agreement we can implement a point system, and the child can exchange it for what they like later. But if it is not completed, it is punished.

I have always believed that grandparents should not care about their children's learning, and I think that the main task of grandparents is to help young parents do things to relieve their work pressure, such as helping them pick up and drop off their children, and taking care of their children's lives. Because the two generations are divided and contradictory in paying attention to children's learning. For example, grandparents may be people in the 50s and 60s, and the education they received in that era and their understanding of education and the parents of the post-80s are different in many views. So I think mom and dad are important supporters of children's learning, and grandparents are best to be this auxiliary of life.

The first is that both husband and wife should communicate privately about the learning of their children, including doing things as people, and reach a consensus with each other. For example, for a child, should he learn Olympiad? Who will tutor your child in learning? Or who is the main one?

On the other hand, I think there should be a priority in tutoring children's learning. Whoever has a loose time is mainly responsible for tutoring the child. Or who among the parents who learn well from an early age, who is responsible for tutoring the children. Or whoever has a good temper and is good at communicating with the child is responsible for tutoring the child. Of course, in this primary and secondary division, we must also focus on different aspects of the primary and secondary divisions according to time and according to the ability to cultivate children in different aspects. For example, because of the difference in gender, to cultivate children's bravery and perseverance, perhaps fathers are more suitable.

If I had to choose between a good temper and a bad temper, I would rather choose a good temper. If your temper burns at one point, and you scream and scold when you see that your child is not right, this is very detrimental to your child's physical and mental development. Because the growth of children is a process, if you always scold, the first child may be frightened, resulting in children who dare not tell you the truth and are unwilling to communicate with you. Another point is that it may be that the child will become a "two-faced person", and he will not dare to say it, and he will not dare to say it. Therefore, I would like the child to be willing to tell the truth in front of a good-tempered mother and be willing to admit his mistakes, so we will correct it together, and this kind of growth is normal growth.

In terms of learning tutoring, as far as I am concerned, I did not tutor my children from an early age, because learning was his task, and I was only responsible for signing. Because many schools now require children to sign after doing homework, I want him to understand that it is your responsibility to finish homework and do homework well.

The first point as a parent should have this awareness, the child's homework is done well or not, I am not responsible for checking. I'm only in charge of signing, and the first thing I have to do is tell him, and you tell me where to sign, and I think you're done. It is to let the child know that his parents will not help him check, and will not help him take on this responsibility.

The second step is that when I do not check and sign, if the child does something wrong, and is criticized by the teacher after returning to school, the child must learn the courage to take on this responsibility. There must be this process and make him pay for his mistakes. Take responsibility for doing the wrong thing, do a good job and enjoy the success.

Young parents don't worry, if the school teacher finds you and says that the child's homework is not completed, then you go back to the child, let the child realize from a very young age that learning is his vocation, it is his responsibility, and if he does something wrong, he will bear the consequences, so that autonomy can be cultivated.

In fact, many parents now dare not let go, worried that as soon as they let go of their children's academic performance, they will collapse, so they will continue to follow their children and help their children check their homework. However, if you help for a while, you can't help for a lifetime. So whenever you want to understand, it is not too late, you must hurry to change.

The party that I think is important to communicate is the parents. Because in fact, this effective parent-child communication is first of all that parents themselves are willing to crouch down to communicate with their children. The first "squat" is to squat down from the body, from the intimate eyes, including gestures, posture, language, to express your intimacy with the child. The second "squat" is that you have to turn yourself and the child into an equal dialogue, that is, to lower your posture and not to be on the top, you have to think that I am also a junior, you think about what you were like when you were eight, when you were ten, maybe more naughty than him.

Another is trust. Many parents always have a suspicion when communicating with their children. I often hear parents say this: What did you do today? Did you play the piano well today? Is the homework done? Is this what you did? This becomes questioning communication, not communicative communication. In this way, the communication cannot go deeper, and it is easy to stop abruptly.

The last little trick is to turn some general big topics into some small topics. "How about today's online class?" This topic is very big, but if you turn it into "What is the difference between today's online class and your usual live class in school?" Which is good and which is bad? What's so good about it? "You see you concretize it, the child knows how to answer, and then it can communicate further."

The above is all the content of Yang Lin's online live broadcast room, do you still have a lot to ask in terms of family education? You can leave a message at the end of the article, and we will also ask Teacher Yang Lin to answer for us.