Hikari went out for lunch, and he came to a rotary sushi restaurant.
The popular sushi chain made Mitsuro wait for half an hour. It was hard to get a seat, but what he was waiting for was not the tuna sushi he ordered, but the Kangji eel sushi. At this time, Hikari's anger was out of control.
Hikari: I said, waiter! Can you tell me how to get tuna and congee eels wrong? Not a single word is the same! Let me wait for half an hour, you actually got it wrong, too much!
Waiter: Sir, I'm sorry, but we didn't do a good job... If you don't mind, the Kangji eel is also here, please enjoy.
Hikari: What are you talking about, here's the rotary sushi! If you put the Kangji eel plate here, I will not pay the last one! (Note: Japanese rotary sushi is finally checked out according to the number of plates on the customer's table, color, etc.) Hurry up and take this plate of Kangji eels to me!
01/People are angry for only one reason
Before the plate of the "right" tuna sushi he had ordered turned, Mitsuro's whispers of demons came from his ears.
Demon: Why do you think people get angry?
Hikari: No, you've come here.
Demon: It's not about asking you why, it's about making you think about the mechanics of it. When are people prone to anger?
Hikari: When someone does something incomprehensible and causes certain adverse consequences, they get angry. Get tuna and Conger eels wrong, which can be included in the Guinness Book of World Records.
Demon: Big mistake. Because people are full of expectations for each other, they will be angry.
Hikari: What? Are you saying that you get angry because you are full of expectations for each other?
Demon: That's right. All "resentment" is generated because of the expectation of the other party. The reason you're angry with the waiter is because you feel like "the other person is a good waiter who doesn't mess with the menu" because you expect something from him. You're unhappy with waiting for half an hour because you're already expecting that "this will make me sit down and eat right away." Children cry about their mothers who don't buy themselves toys because they expect "moms to buy themselves toys."
No matter what it is, if there is a situation of anger, there must be an element of expectation for the other party before.
Hikari: Although I myself feel a little incredible, I still think what you said makes sense. The reason why the other party is angry is because I am full of expectations. But I still find it a little incredible.
Demon: There's nothing incredible, it's a principle. Listen, let me tell you an important message.
It is you who are looking forward to each other. Because "you" are casually full of expectations for each other. That is to say, all the resentment and responsibility are not on the other party, but on you, who are full of expectations for the other party.
Hikari: Yes, that's right, that's right! Awesome, it's as you say!
The reason for the resentment is that the responsibility is all with me!
Demons: You casually expect people, and you yourself casually begin to get angry at the other party who fails to fulfill your wishes.
From start to finish, you're acting alone. To the other person, you are a troublemaker. Just as you are walking down the street, you are suddenly questioned by a foreigner: "Why are you not wearing samurai clothes!" Isn't this Japan? ”
Hikari: If you run into a foreigner like that, it's really unlucky. But are you saying that I do something like this every day?
I always seem to be the type that is prone to anger.
Demon: That's because you expect too much from the world.
"The other party is not good" (= full of expectations for the other party)
"Colleagues are not good" (= full of expectations for colleagues)
"Society is not good" (= full of expectations for society)
"The world is not good" (= full of expectations for the world)
You are always like this, identifying others as "bad people", but in fact the reason is not in other people. It is your expectations of others that lead to resentment.
Guang Lang: I am really ashamed to hear you say this. Especially after knowing the real mechanism of why people are resentful, they are even more ashamed. In the past, the responsibility for the generation of resentment was always attributed to others, but in fact the cause was on oneself.
02/ Abandon expectations, resentment will disappear
Demon: Tell you a message that benefits you.
You can't change the other person's behavior, but your own expectations of the other person can change. In other words, you just don't have any expectations of the other person. This is a mechanism-based anger management application that applies to all situations without exception. People who do not expect "anyone" or "anything" can never be resentful. Without preconceived notions of "expectation", you just can't get angry if you want to. So, your so-called "wicked people" are always laughing. Because they have no expectations for society.
Mitsuro: Makes sense. Bad people really don't expect much from others.
Demons: Demons don't have any expectations for you boring humans. Whether it is a policeman or a hero, he does not expect much from God. This seat believes that the world is full of useless people. Therefore, the opposite point is that the tuna brought up the matter of Kangji eel, and the demon will never be angry. For this is the mistake that you humans often make. The demon didn't expect anything from this, but would think that this mistake was quite cute. "Look, get it wrong, hahaha!" That's just a laugh.
Even if you wait for half an hour, you won't get angry. Or they won't wait there at all, and change to a different place. Not full of "expectations" for this store, it's the same everywhere. As long as there is something to eat, it is the same everywhere. Or rather, it's okay not to eat. I'm not expecting to "eat" it. If you can't eat, you can do something else.
Mitsuro: It was an eye-opener. Life without expectations can be so leisurely.
Demon: In addition, the embodiment of angry "justice" is always full of expectations for the other party.
They always feel that "you should be able to do better" and are full of expectations for each other, so they will be angry.
They are always full of expectations for each other, for someone, for the world. Moreover, they will forcibly "transform" each other in the direction they expect.
They're trying to change this boring world.
Hikari: It's true that people are often expecting someone or something.
"May there be peace in the world!" (Looking Forward)
"May there be no more demons in the world!" (Looking Forward)
"May the world be filled with happiness!" (Looking Forward)
"Beyond religious ideas, unity of unity!" (Looking Forward)
The world in front of us is not what we expect ("evil"), so we get angry and try to make the world what we expect it to be. I understood that the embodiment of "justice" was forcibly dyeing the world the color he expected.
Demon: Obviously they can't do it. The world is so big that dyeing the whole world into the color they expect is absolutely impossible. Even the walls of your own home can't make you do whatever you want. There will always be conflicts with other people's expectations. For example, someone in the family may say, "I hate black," and object. So, instead of daydreaming about turning the world into what you expect it to be, you should immediately throw away your expectations of the world.
*This article is excerpted from "Dialogue with demons" by Mitsukazu Sato, with more deletions, please refer to the original book for more content
A phenomenon-level bestseller in Japan, it was reprinted 10 times in two months
A book of energy that brings joy and transformation to life
Dissect the dark emotions hidden in the hearts of thousands of people
Cure all kinds of unhappiness, open it and can't stop!
Author Profile
[Japanese] Mitsuro Sato worked for a listed company and worked in energy-related work. Deeply aware of the importance of "to change society, you must change everyone's consciousness", he opened his personal blog "Funny SUPERIORARU" in 2011, which attracted attention for its novel views, won several firsts in a short period of time, and became a popular blog with more than 2 million monthly hits. He quit his job in 2014 and began holding solo talk shows and piano concerts across the country. In the same year, his first book, Dialogue with God, was published, which became a bestseller that sold more than 200,000 copies. At the same time, he is actively engaged in various musical activities, and has been the lead singer of the rock band Sun of Rock and released the CD album "Graviton", which is comparable to the professional level.
His major works include Instructions for the Rich (Housewives and The Life Society) and Practice of Happiness in The Reality of Camping (Elementary School Building).
Recommended reading
By Mitsuaki Sato
Translated by Fei Xiaodong
Published by Oriental Publishing House
Synopsis
This is a novel work of reverse thinking, rich and hard-core content organically integrates psychology, Western philosophy, Taoist thought, quantum mechanics, the latest medical discoveries and other elements, trying to approach the ultimate problem of philosophy and guide everyone to re-understand the universe, society and self. The whole book fictionalizes the dialogue between the demon and the protagonist Hikari, but it talks about wealth, ideals, possessions, losses and other real problems that plague every modern person. For example:
"Human Suit Theory": Everyone is a "human suit" for others to use, and people can enter any person's body according to their own wishes and enjoy that person's "life".
"Mirror theory": "wo" and "world" are usually completely opposite mirror relationships. In the "world" in front of the "me" who wants money, there is money that is wanted.
About "owning": It is absolutely impossible for one individual to have another!