Two days ago, I was reading in Fan Deng and heard a small story.
A person with a mild cleanliness habit once went on a business trip with a colleague. Because of the delay, when he arrived at the hotel room, he found that the colleague who arrived first had made a mess of the room and personal belongings were scattered everywhere. What he couldn't tolerate the most was that he obviously wanted a non-smoking room, but his colleague actually smoked two cigarettes on the balcony!
Furious, he turned and left, running alone to the lobby, calling his teacher, cursing fiercely at this hateful colleague and his wicked behavior.
The teacher listened quietly to his venting, but only calmly said: "Do you think that he has tried his best?" ”
Maybe it's because emotions have been vented. After listening to the teacher's words, in his mind, the embarrassed and sorry expression of the colleague when he saw him pushing the door and entered slowly emerged, he was not unseen, but just now his emotions prevented him from seeing. He remembered his colleagues rushing to clean up, while apologizing one after another: "I'm sorry sorry, I made too much of a mess." It wasn't that he hadn't heard it, it was just that his emotions just now made him choose not to hear.
Perhaps, this colleague is already a big grinning and informal person. He did smoke, but he chose to smoke on the balcony as much as possible without affecting others. When you realize that you have done something improper, you immediately take the initiative to apologize and actively make up for it.
He thought like this, and suddenly felt that everything just now was actually not so important at all, and it was over.
I can't help but think of my little daughter who just went to elementary school in September.
When she went out that morning to put on her shoes, she couldn't wear the newly bought pair of sneakers, over and over again, and took them off.
Carrying a kettle lunch box on the side, I kept looking at the wall clock on the wall, anxious to feel that ten thousand grass and mud horses ran through. Finally, he couldn't hold back and yelled at her: "Can't you just put it on first and go quickly?" ”
She was obviously startled and wanted to say something, but she held back and didn't say anything. This time, instead of taking off her shoes again, she stood up and put her bag on her back, took my hand, and said, "Let's go, Mom." ”
Acutely, I was still angry, plus I was worried about being late, so I calmed my face all the way and ignored her. It was so easy to get to school, just in time to close the door. I handed her the water bottle lunch box and didn't speak.
She suddenly took my arm, tiptoed up, and said to me softly, "Mom, I'm sorry, I went back today to practice wearing these shoes." ”
I was instantly crushed and felt guilty. Bending down, I touched her little head: "Mom was sorry just now, Mom practiced with you at night." ”
She nodded vigorously, gave a hard "um" sound, and then said "goodbye mommy" happily, then turned around and jumped into the school gate.
Later, in retrospect, she had been wearing a caterpillar-like kick in the past, and the newly purchased shoes needed to be pinched by the tongue and stepped on. She is sometimes uncomfortable in a hurry to wear it badly, and it is also normal.
I now feel that she has tried her best that day, tried her best to put on her own shoes, tried her best not to argue with her angry and corrupt mother, and tried to find an opportunity to take the initiative to reconcile with her mother.
And I, really didn't try my best.
I told myself that the next time, when I felt like I was going crazy, calm down, just three seconds. Ask yourself, "Do you think he's done his best?" "Whether it's for a child, for a parent, for a friend, or even just a stranger.
Allow yourself to retain a little patience and compassion, and we will find that many times, the other party has really tried his best. And we will also gain the courage and strength to do our best from such discoveries to rediscover that peaceful and inclusive self.