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As a talk show host, he has a high comedic talent, the words are always hilarious, and now his speech is translated as follows, due to cultural differences, some clips have been deleted and modified, interested can go to see the original English version or watch the video, really funny.
The text of his speech:
First of all, I would like to thank the school for inviting me to give a lecture, and the last time I came to Harvard, it cost me $110,000 (tuition). So today I actually didn't really want to come. Before I begin, I would like to say that the goal of my speech this afternoon is to make sure that tomorrow's graduation speech of moral philosophy and economist Amartya Sen is half funny, and that it will get more applause than the high-paying theorists. By the way, I hope you enjoy that talk and remember to bring a calculator, it was a nerdy event.
Harvard graduates of the Class of 2000, 15 years ago I sat in the seat you are sitting in today, thinking about the same question. What will life look like in the future? What kind of job will I find? Am I really going to graduate as a virgin? 24 hours left? I heard that my roommate's mother is quite young...
I would say that while you think of me as a TV star, as a member of the cultural elite, as a peerless hero, and even as a potential marriage partner, in 1981 I was just an ordinary freshman living in a Holworthy apartment, and it is no exaggeration to say that I was the ugliest in the freshman roster photos, which is true. When Harvard asked me for a photo before I started school in the summer, I thought it was just for record purposes, so I ran to the photo bureau on a hot day in August and took a sweaty picture of the information.
To make matters worse, when the roster came out, they put my picture with the blonde actress Catherine oxenberg, who decided to star in the TV series "Dusan Dynasty" just before the start of school, brothers, which page of my picture would be ugly and shocking, but right next to catherine oxenberg, I was ugly like a big salmon that had just been hit by a car...
I still remember the anxiety of today, when many of you were nervous about leaving the warm and safe family of Harvard and entering a ruthless society, where most of you might get a high-paying career in your father's big company, and the rest of you would probably go abroad for a year and then find a high-paying career in your father's big company.
You all wrote papers, and the papers must have cost you a lot of energy. But no one really cares. Three years after I graduated, I wrote a thesis, "On Literary Progeria in the Works of Frannie Connor and William Faulkner," and within three years of graduation, I was so eager to get people to see my thesis that I put it in my car driver's license so that whenever the traffic police asked me to stop, I could show it to him.
How is the real society different from the school? I tell you, when you leave the university gates and enter society, one thing is certain, and that is that all the people out there will hate you. Don't meet people in a roadside restaurant and say you're a Harvard graduate, and when someone asks which university you went to, you should say, "College?" I haven't been to school, I'm not interested in reading at all," and then got up, got dressed, got into your BMW, and flew away.
You want to know what's going to happen after graduation, I can share my experience with you, after graduation, I went to Los Angeles, I got a three-week contract at a small cable station, rented a house that rented $380 a month, bought a 1977 Isuzu car that broke down after only a year, and then went to the technician and said it wasn't a car at all-------- because a four-cylinder car shouldn't have racing stripes.
I worked at that TV station for about a year and felt good about myself, until one day they told me to roll up and roll up, I was fired, I hadn't saved any money, so I didn't want to go to the TV station interview again, and finally I went to a temporary agency to fill out a few forms, and I was very confident that I had to let them know that I was a Harvard graduate and had written a thesis, hoping to get the best job opportunity.
So the next day I was sent to the Wilson Tannery in Santa Monica. When you have a Harvard diploma and work at the Wilson Tannery, you are haunted by the nightmares of classmates who originally graduated with you and chose to go to graduate school. Whenever you see their mocking faces, in a coffee cup, in a fish tank, you think you're going crazy, and then people laugh at you like you've put up a bunch of sweaters and no one buys them.
I tried a lot of things during this time, working as an actor in commercials, being a waiter in a theater, I even performed at someone else's 7th birthday party, and then I became a screenwriter at Firefox Networks, writing the script for a brain-burning cartoon "Wilton North Report" that had just been broadcast, and finally found a decent job, I was very excited, the producer told me that this show would be an epoch-making work in the history of television, and later proved that it really is, Because when it was stopped by the company two months later, everyone couldn't help but applaud.
Finally my chance came, I sent a work of mine to the Saturday Night Show, a year and a half later they saw it, thought it was OK, gave me a two-week internship, two weeks later it was good, and continued to work until two seasons, then I thought, hey, finally succeeded, I am also a successful person. That's when I had another chance to be a screenwriter, and I thought I could be a TV writer, so I left the Saturday Night Show.
That TV series was supposed to be a revolutionary work, it was supposed to revive tv actors, Batman actors, Adam West's career, should have been the top of the comedy industry, but after the TV broadcast, it turned out to be the second lowest-rated TV series, and it was even with a TV signal test program in northern Scotland.
I was 28 years old, and again, I was unemployed again. I had a good screenwriting experience in New York, but I didn't know what to do next, and that's when The Simpsons saved me, so I started writing the script for the cartoon. Finally, what I learned at Harvard came in handy, and I was writing dialogue for a silly guy who had an episode that even forgot his own heartbeat. Life is beautiful, and then it becomes absurd,
Finally good luck fell on me, an interview as a TV host came to me, I really cherished this interview, but at the same time, to be honest, I didn't have much confidence in myself, I felt that even if I lost a job that I couldn't get, it wouldn't make me too sad, and maybe this attitude finally helped me get this job.
Needless to say, I've been criticized a lot, some as they should, some as exaggerated, but to be honest, those criticisms are really hurtful, but I tell you that there's a reason for this, I've had a lot of successes, I've experienced a lot of failures, I've looked pretty beautiful, I've looked decadent, I've been praised, I've been criticized, but my failures are necessary, I'm going to stumble through failures, and as a Harvard graduate, your biggest belief is that you have to succeed. You have to find the highest point on the bell curve, success is like a tuxedo, you want it very much, but when you get it, you will be afraid to get it dirty.
I left the warm nest at Harvard, left the warm nest of the Saturday night show, left Simpson, and every parting was deeply hurtful. Every failure is gone today, but to this day, I have as much nostalgia for failure as my success. Be brave enough to go your own way, create some chaos, break some rules, and always remember that your failure is the only way to success.
Ladies and gentlemen, students of the Class of 2000, this speech I wrote this morning proves that even if you have nothing, you can still have illusions. I will suffer more failures later in life to lower the reputation of this school. Before I conclude, I would like to say one last word to you, if you can laugh at yourself hard after each failure--------------- people will think that you have drunk too much. Thank you.
English translation: Blade Dog
Edit: Jerry