The other day, friends got together.
Friends can't help but sigh that life can't be as expected, and many things are too variable.
Visionaries plan ahead early. Those who have no vision, when the matter comes, they will sigh in vain.
Especially for women, career, marriage, family, whether there is a vision, may live a completely different life.
Truly intelligent women, who don't like to rely on others, no matter who they are with, leave a good way for themselves in advance.
A woman with a vision
Know how to hold your temper
The famous American psychologist Pike once said:
"In a complex and changeable society. If we want to have a smooth life, we must learn to be angry. ”
Getting angry about this thing hurts people, so we often hear exhortations to be a good-tempered person.
This is actually not a conflict, good-tempered people do not like to be angry, but it does not mean that they will not be angry.
Women with foresight have the cultivation of not throwing tantrums at will, and they also have the courage to lose their temper.
You may always have such a woman around you, an old and good person who has no temper. No matter how much the others did to her, they showed no signs of anger.
In order not to offend people, in order not to hurt feelings, they give in again and again in order to obtain a "harmonious" relationship.
In fact, she is not angry, nor is she open-minded and tolerant by nature, and her temper is suppressed in her heart. Don't send it to others, but to yourself.
Any relationship, with harmony as precious, does not lose your temper at will, this is right. But a person must also have the courage to lose his temper, which is self-esteem.
When a contradiction occurs, calm down, tolerate what you can tolerate, and avoid causing unnecessary misunderstandings. But don't put up with it again and again, endure to the end, the other party becomes more intense, think you are a bully.
Knowing how to express temper properly sometimes requires euphemism, sometimes it needs to be direct. Sometimes you need to be calm, and sometimes you may as well be angry.
Women with foresight, in the matter of temper, should be hard when it should be hard, soft when it should be soft, and will never be ambiguous.
Know how to hold on to your own wealth
In the prologue of "The Golden Powder Family", Zhang Hexhui said that "the most able to be autonomous is like my body".
Leng Qingqiu, the daughter of a poor and sour family, married Jin Yanxi, the son of a large family, and a rich daughter-in-law, which is not good.
Leng Qingqiu had a job as a teacher after marriage, but because of the in-laws' family rules, the family members showed their faces and went out to work and disgraceful reputation, and were forced to resign.
Jin Yanxi and fox friends gamble, eat, drink and have fun, and sing night and night.
She had also envied the luxurious life of the Jin family, but in the end she understood that this wealth was like a floating cloud in the sky and had nothing to do with her.
After being disappointed, she left the Kim family with her children, leaving what she had thought she had relied on in life. Relying on his own calligraphy, he sells words for a living.
There is a passage in "Divorce Lawyer": "It is better to marry a rich person than to become a rich person herself, and a woman can only gain a real sense of security if she is both independent in personality and economy." ”
You don't have to marry anyone for money, and you don't have to leave anyone for money.
A visionary woman who knows how to hold her fortunes. Hard work, although not rich and expensive, but enough to support their own lives, enough to give themselves a way to retreat.
Fromm wrote in Escape from Freedom: "To be responsible for oneself is to become a free person." ”
Only when you have wealth and strength, only when you are self-reliant, can you not be afraid of the wind and rain in all directions.
Know how to hold on to your blessings
A person's greatest blessing stems from self-love.
Su Hei wrote in "Self-Love, No Need to Wait": "The first condition of self-love is to eat a good meal, sleep well, and strengthen your body without asking a reason; no matter what happens, first be kind to yourself." ”
I've seen a story like this:
There is a woman, diligent and kind, who has worked hard to make a world and let her family live a good life.
She was a good daughter of filial piety, a good wife of thoughtfulness, and a good mother of love.
However, in the end, she fell seriously ill and died.
The woman thought, I did so well before I was born, I should go to heaven after I die, who expected, but was kicked to hell by God.
She was puzzled and went to god theory.
God brought her to a window where she could see the human world, and the woman saw clearly:
Due to her own departure, the elderly mother had to rely on picking up garbage to make a living;
The husband has a new woman, and he no longer has the heart to take care of the children's study and life;
His beloved children, because they are unsupervised, their learning is getting worse and worse, and because they cannot afford to pay tuition, they are ridiculed and rejected by their classmates.
God said, "Because of your departure, your loved ones are in pain and you are living a hellish life on earth, so why should you go to heaven?" ”
The woman looked everything in her eyes and covered her face in pain and cried: "God, this is not fair, from childhood to adulthood, why has no one ever told me that I must love myself before I love others." ”
If a woman, taking care of the elderly, taking care of her husband, taking care of children, is very considerate and thoughtful to others, but does not know how to be considerate of herself, but it is the most vulnerable to complaints.
YiShu said: Self-love, calmness, and then love others.
A woman who is too sensible, too ignorant of herself, has the ability to love others, but does not have the ability to love herself, such a woman is not blessed.
A woman's vision is manifested in three ways: self-esteem, self-reliance, and self-love.
Firmly grasp these three points, no matter who you are with, don't be afraid!