Marriage, for a woman, is the equivalent of a second reincarnation, happiness if you meet the right person, and "tragedy" if you meet the wrong person.
Some people will always ask: What is the so-called "true love"?
This answer always varies from person to person. Because everyone's requirements for love and marriage are different, natural views are also different.
We often think that to love someone is to give the best thing to the other person. However, this is not the case, and sometimes we give what the other person does not want.
What men want is women's thriftiness, and what women want is men's meticulous care.
From the perspective of male and female thinking, the needs of the two are very different.
We may only love ourselves, without basing our love on knowing each other. For women, such a "wrong love" way will only exchange for the ending of men's "different thoughts".
Like not long ago, one of my readers confided in me that he was married but in love with a married woman and then asked me for help.
His name was Li Shang, the woman's name was Xia Shan, the two met online three months ago, through chatting, a week later, Li Shang fell in love with this Xia Shan, who had never met.
After a month of acquaintance, Li Shang fell in love with Xia Shan, but Xia Shan did not know it.
Because Li Shang and his wife lived in two places, they would talk to Xia Shan about anything. For Xia Shan, Li Shang is just a "netizen" who chats and speculates, but for Li Shang, Xia Shan is a "red face confidant" that he loves.
Li Shang said that he wanted to confess to Xia Shan, although he knew that she was a mother of two children, he had always restrained his love for her.
However, Li Shang did not want to leave himself with regrets. Because, sometimes thinking of Xia Shan, Li Shang would cry. So, at least let Xia Shan know that he loves her,
However, he was worried that xia shan would no longer pay attention to himself after that, and in the end, he would not even be able to do it as a friend.
The point is, Li Shang still has his own family. Therefore, Li Shang hopes that I can give advice to help him.
In fact, there are two key points in this question: First, Li Shang's wife, does the two still have feelings for separation? The second is Xia Shan, how does she view the ambiguity with Li Shang?
For these two points, my advice to readers is: On the one hand, li shang and his wife are separated, and they must be clear about their inner feelings.
If you still love your wife and have a sense of responsibility for your family, then you should reject your inner impulse and let go of this "wrong" love.
Because, the untested "online dating" is too fragile.
On the other hand, Xia Shan has no clear statement on this online "ambiguity", and her focus is still on her two children.
This shows that Xia Shan is bound to accept "extramarital affairs", which is a tug-of-war with her family. Moreover, women attach great importance to "shame", and giving up her family will be a very difficult thing for her.
Therefore, Li Shang's best approach is: I wish Xia Shan happiness, he can put this love in his heart, be a friend with a sense of boundaries, accompany him with the right distance and identity, and cannot break through the "red line" of marriage.
I remember Zhang Jiajia writing in the book "Passing Through Your World": "The beginning of the story is always like this, just in time, Caught off guard." The end of the story is always like this, two flowers bloom, and the sky is different. ”
Yes, the wrong "love" may meet unexpectedly, but it is destined not to be together. In this case, Li Shang is not a "qualified" husband.
In fact, if a couple separates two places, the chances of these seeking "extramarital affairs" will greatly increase. And this also involves men's control of love, as well as the "center" for women.
So, if you look at it from the perspective of a woman in a marriage, how do you identify a man's "leg-splitting" tendency in the first place? Let's move on.
This type of man is characterized by being particularly talkative and likes to make friends, especially friends of the opposite sex.
They can joke, so they often have "ambiguous interactions" with friends of the opposite sex. For example, they will touch the head of the opposite sex under the pretext that there is a foreign body on the head of the opposite sex, and they will also send friends of the opposite sex home out of "helping others".
Every time he was "warned" by his wife, he would say, "We are just friends, and we don't need to make such a fuss." ”
Men who are easy to "split legs" always have such a straightforward argument in marriage, they are close to the opposite sex, that is, they like that "ambiguous" feeling.
This is a frivolous manifestation and the biggest obstacle to marital happiness, and as a wife, a woman has the right to curb this behavior of men.
There is a saying: "Love begins with a smile, thicker than a kiss, and dies from tears." ”
Admittedly, this sentence is for every woman. It is both a wake-up call to women in marriage and a word of advice to women who are still in the "ambiguous period".
If you can, women must learn to reject "ambiguous" men.
The biggest characteristic of this kind of man is that he often argues with women and snubs women.
Such behavior often makes a man tired of his wife because he needs to get "satisfaction" in marriage.
If the wife doesn't live up to his expectations, it's easy for such a man to seek "stimulation" on the outside to get psychological fulfillment.
In fact, some men have a machismo in them. Because of this, the way they solve the quarrel is: disdainful of admitting mistakes to women in the way of "actively seeking peace", but satisfying their "sense of vanity" by snubbing women.
And this is not the best choice for women.
As the saying goes, "The greatest happiness in life is to find that the person you love also loves you." ”
Deeply believed, true love is to seek common ground while reserving differences, even if the two sides will have differences, they will be calm and comprehensive, not indifferent.
For men who like to have a cold war with women, women must remember to stay away.
The last type of man, if "splitting legs", may not be accidental, but inevitable.
Because from the beginning, your marriage was wrong. Without love, it is equivalent to the awareness of both parties not caring for each other and giving commitment.
Perhaps, some people will wonder: without love, why be together?
Then, we can ask ourselves: Will people who love each other necessarily be together?
The answer, of course, is no. That being the case, not loving together is the same reason, and sometimes there is no need for a proper reason.
Because often this marriage will have many excuses, such as: couples like to be "arranged", forced by the "door to door" of the appropriate vision, want to get better material security and so on.
These are all words that do not love and must be reluctantly together.
Therefore, in the face of such a marriage, men will have more reasons and opportunities to "split their legs", both in anticipation and outside of reason.
Therefore, women who want to be happy must reject such a "loveless" man, both for their own future and for the integrity of a family.
Wilson once said, "Finding your responsibilities in the other person's mistakes is the best way to love each other." ”
It is true, and the same is true of our approach to a marriage, where women are responsible for their own marriages and should avoid their own cognitive errors.
It's not that we feel that this man is "good to me" and can be entrusted for life. Any "true love" that does not give "action" is empty talk.
Women need to have the ability to love, and they need to have the sensitivity to recognize love. If we can, I hope that we will strangle the "extramarital affair" in the cradle at the beginning and have a happiness of our own.
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Topic: How do you think we can identify men who are prone to "splitting legs"?
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