My colleague said to me slightly anxiously: "Today I found Liang Liang so selfish!" ”
Liang Liang is a three-year-old child of a colleague.
"What's wrong? Let's hear it. ”
"Yesterday Liang Liang's father's waist was injured, Liang Liang let his father hold, and dad said that he couldn't hold him because of the waist pain, so he didn't hug him.
This morning, Liang Liang asked Dad if his waist still hurts?
We all feel that Liang Liang knows how to care about people, and we are feeling relieved, and the result is liang Liang's next sentence, which makes us disappointed.
Liang Liang said, 'Daddy, then you hug me!' ’
It turned out that he did not care about his father, but to let his father hold himself, purely for his own sake. ”
Hearing this, I laughed: "It is completely normal for a three-year-old to have this situation, and this behavior is consistent with his cognitive psychological development." ”
According to Piaget's theory of cognitive development, at the age of 2 to 7 years old, the child's cognitive characteristics are self-centered and irreversible, he only knows how to see problems from his own point of view, for his own sake, and will not think in a different position, thinking from the perspective of the other party, which is determined by the characteristics of his physiological development. He can't be as mature as an adult and see things as comprehensively.
As adults, we cannot look at children's problems from the perspective of adults, let alone judge him from a moral point of view, or even criticize him.
According to Erikson's theory of personality development, children aged 3 to 6 years old, if the personality development is smooth, then it is more active and curious about the surrounding world, more confident and responsible, but if the parents criticize and deny too much, he may form a withdrawn, depressed and passive personality, resulting in a sense of guilt. Therefore, parents and teachers should give children more opportunities to make their own decisions.
What should Mom do at this time?
Never blame your child.
Parents are the best role models for children, and mothers should play an exemplary role.
First of all, affirm and praise the child who knows how to care for his father, and knows whether it hurts to ask his father whether his waist is still painful. The purpose of this is to enhance the child's self-confidence and let him know that asking about the other person's condition is also a way of caring about people.
Then the mother further said to the father: "Your waist injury is good, rest well today, you don't need to do housework, and then consolidate it, and then do physical work after it is completely better." ”
Mom said to Liang Liang again: "Let's let Dad take a little more rest, fully recover and then hug you, okay?" Is it okay to let your mother hold you today? ”
Liang Liang has been praised and respected, and he has learned how to really care for a person from his mother's words and deeds, then he will happily accept his mother's advice. When he encounters similar things in his future life, he will also take the initiative to care for others, and be more confident and responsible.